Speed ​​Dating Winnipeg, Manitoba

My dad is a Kevin

2020.06.26 20:07 Oppropro My dad is a Kevin

So after reading Stories About Kevin, I have come to the realization that my dad is the most Kevin... Kevin I know. This is going to be a long read, I hope you enjoy these stories. Nothing that really traumatized me or my family, we just look back at these tales of caution and laugh.

These are all old stories as my dad has not been in my life for the last 16 years. I am 34 now so you can do the math. My parents split when I was 6 and my mom, having sole custody of myself and my two siblings, dedicated her life to snuffing out any Kevin traits that may have been passed down through 'his' genes. I am proud to say I am not a Kevina and more like a 'Phoebe from Friends' kind of person. Thank you mom.

Now onto some Kevin/dad stories:

- When my dad was 9 he and my uncle (his younger brother) wanted to see who could toss the largest rock into a river near their house (this river was fast flowing and emptied into the Atlantic ocean). Dad found the largest boulder he could lift, held it over the side of a bridge, and forgot to let go. He was fished out by a neighbour.

- My dad was attacked by a tiger. My parents met in the military. They were stationed at a base near Winnipeg, Manitoba. My dad took my mom on a date to the zoo. He wanted a picture of a tiger, but he wanted the tiger to look like it was in a natural habitat. So you know those chain lines with a sign that says "do not cross this line"? He crossed it. Put both his arms in the cage to steady the camera. The tiger took one look and pounced. Dad fell back. People panicked. No major damage was done. Who knew tigers could leap so far?

- My dad made my mom trek through Northern Ontario brush to find a hot spring. On their way from Winnipeg to Toronto my parents noticed some steam coming from the forest near the Trans-Canada-Highway. My dad, a 23 year old who just got his highschool diploma with the help of my mother, was adamant that there was a hot spring near by. He had just taken grade 10 geography so he knew what he was talking about. The hot spring he found was a sewage treatment plant. (The newest National Lampoon Movie gives my mom horror flash backs)

- My dad was chased down the highway by a cow Moose. SAME ROAD TRIP. Dad saw a baby moose at the side of the road and decided this was his Disney Princess moment. Mom warned him not to get close but he wanted a picture of the baby moose up close. Well out come momma charging at full speed. My mother, who was behind the wheel at the time, had the car in neutral so it could roll forward slowly while dad ran back to the car, hopped in the passenger side, and they sped off. Momma was still chasing them for a good few minutes, which felt like hours.

By the was, this trip from Winnipeg to Toronto was for their wedding. I don't know why my mom didn't see any red flags. Love is blind.

- My dad almost electrocuted himself. When our family was transferred to a Canadian Air Force base in Lahr, Germany, we got an unfurnished apartment. At this point it's mom, dad, older brother, and myself. The unfurnished apartment had no light fixtures in the walls or ceiling, just exposed wired. My dad wanted to know if the wires were hot.... so he touched one. Blasted back a few feet and was burned, but not dead.

- My dad left me unsupervised on a 4th floor balcony with no ledge. Same apartment as before, property owners were renovating balconies. My dad had the day off and my mother had a shift on base. Mom told dad make sure the patio door is shut and locked so brother (3 or 4 at the time) and I (just turned 2) don't go on the balcony. She comes home after work to see dad sleeping on the couch, balcony door wide open and me looking over the ledge. Mom had to give me the most calm 'COME GIVE MOMMY A BIIIIG HUG' she could muster while screaming internally. Dad didn't know what was wrong.

- My dad has crashed EVERY vehicle he has owned. Every car, truck, dirt bike, motorcycle, boat, you name it. He is the reason Ontario premiums are high. Once he crashed the family car on a quiet pedestrian road. Going 30k. Into a parked tow truck. In front of a house where a large Greek family has having a party. My older brother and I were in the car. It was a write off. A Greek grandma gave my brother and I candy.

- My dad has had two kitchen fires (that I know of) and one wasn't even in his own house. We were visiting friends of the family we met on base in Germany. These people are still in my life and they are considered Aunt/Uncle and cousins. My dad went to make fries and while waiting for the pot of oil to heat up, he took a nap. Same thing happened in his own apartment years later. Icing on the cake? My dad was a Toronto fire fighter at the time! He's retired now so Toronto citizens, you can sleep well.

There are way more stories but this is enough to get my point across. It is kind of therapeutic to get these off my chest and into the internet.

tl;dr: my dad is an idiot
submitted by Oppropro to StoriesAboutKevin [link] [comments]


2019.10.07 15:34 halpinator 2019 Hecla Half Marathon - Kipchoge'd

Race Information

Goals

Goal Description Completed?
A PR (1:23:10)
B Sub 1:25

Splits

Mile Time Split Time
1 6:14 1st 5k 19:13
2 6:04 2nd 5k 19:19
3 6:11 3rd 5k 19:19
4 6:12 4th 5k 19:11
5 6:15 1st half 40:55
6 6:14 2nd half 41:03
7 6:07
8 6:15
9 6:22
10 6:11
11 6:14
12 6:07
13 6:15
13.2 1:15 (5:58 pace)

Pre-ramble

Hecla is a small village that’s a 2 hour drive north of Winnipeg (or 7 hours southeast of where I live), nestled along the shoreline of Lake Manitoba. The Hecla Half marathon is a fairly new race – founded in 2016, this is the 4th edition of the race. I stumbled across this race in 2016 when I decided I was going to train for a half marathon in Winnipeg, but didn’t bother to sign up for the race until it sold out. Desperate not to have all my training for naught, I discovered this race that was happening on the same weekend, and decided to give it a try. It’s held by the Lakeview Hecla Resort, which is a hotel/spa right at the start/finish line. After the race, they give you catered post-race food and drinks in their banquet room, and also give you access to the on-site pool and spa afterwards. Pretty good value for a race. The course itself is run on a few sections of closed-off highway, through part of the village of Hecla, and near the end of the race on 2 km of gravel trail.
My plan for the later half of the year post-Boston Marathon was to race a 5k, 10k, and fall half marathon. My work and volunteer schedule is pretty crazy, and didn’t work out to be able to race in Toronto or Winnipeg as I had initially wanted to do. But remembering the great experience I had at this race in 2016, I decided why not do it again?
Another intriguing element to this race is that when I raced it in 2016, I was juuuust starting to become more active on the Reddit running subs and this race was right before I started to learn more about proper training methods. At that stage in my life, I was 211 lbs (40 lbs heavier than I am now) and when I ran this course I finished in 1:40:55. Here’s the race report from that race if you’re interested
Looking long term, my goal is to qualify for NYC with a fast half marathon time (<1:21). I don’t think I’m quite there yet, but a strong showing at this race will help set the tone for training next spring where I hope to get it.

Training

Disclaimer: Fairly detailed description of my training below. Feel free to skip to the pre-race if you don’t care how fast I ran my LT intervals in August.
For all my training post-Boston, I’ve been essentially writing my own training plan, which is heavily modeled off Pfitzinger, but also includes some elements of Daniels and Tinman training methods. I’m starting to figure out for myself what I like and don’t like about some of these plans, and am starting to tailor them to my specific needs, weaknesses, and strengths.
So, quick recap from post-Boston to August: I didn’t have the race I envisioned in Boston; looking back at my training it was obvious that I wasn’t running consistently enough and I had vastly overestimated my fitness and underestimated the difficulty of the course.
After licking my wounds and taking a few easy weeks, I looked ahead to the Summit Run 5k in June. During this ~6 week block of training, I was averaging about 40 mpw, and also hitting the gym twice a week for some strength work to try and strengthen my hips. I was starting to develop some issues with my right adductor and tibialis posterior tendon which made running uncomfortable and not all that enjoyable, but I plodded along with a sense of duty until that race. I ended up finishing that race in a time of 19:02, good enough for a (by default because it’s my first 5k) PR and 1st overall, but it was clear that my body was battered and my heart wasn’t in it anymore, and I needed a reset.
Mileage: 28, 32, 38, 42, 35, 44, 35, 4.3 (race week)
My next race was a 10k in July, I decided to still race it because it is a local race, but I wouldn’t injure myself further by overreaching and overtraining leading up to it. The following 4 weeks of training were very minimal and during that time at least I can say my ankle and hip were healing up and starting to hold up better during my runs. I ran my 10k in 43:52, which is slow by my standards, but considering my low mileage for the previous 2 months, and the fact that I didn’t push too hard, I was happy with it because at least my hip didn’t bother me during the race.
Mileage: 12, 13, 10, 9, 19 (race week)
My 10k was an indicator to me that it was time to get back on the horse and start training for real again. I had another race coming up in August, this time a local 14k with some cash money on the line. My goal for this block of training was just to be consistent and build up my base mileage again. So I got to work. My only workouts were some short 2-4 mile LT intervals where I averaged a pace of 6:40-7:00/mile. The week before the race, on a 10 mile long run, I finally had a moment where things just felt like they clicked, I noticed that I was enjoying running again, that I was pushing my pace and feeling good, and it felt like a giant weight was lifted off my chest. I was back. I won my 8 mile race, averaging 6:18/mile over the 8 mile course, and I felt like I had my swagger back.
Mileage: 25, 33, 36, 41 (race week)
I had 7 weeks from that race until Hecla. I decided I wanted to peak around 50 mpw for a few weeks, and since it had been working so far, to stick with my schedule of a midweek workout and a weekend long run, with the rest of the running done at easy pace, with one or two runs including 6-8 strides to work on my running economy and get comfortable at speed.
My quality workouts broke down as follows:
Aug 28: 3 miles + 2 miles at LT (averaged 6:30 pace)
Sept 3: 5x1000m @ CV (Averaged 6:10 pace), 4x200m (5:20 pace)
Sept 10: 3.5 miles + 2.5 miles at LT (averaged 6:30 pace)
Sept 20: 10k time trial (37:50…6:05 pace)
Sept 24: 2x1200m + 3x800m @ V02 (Averaged 5:40 pace)
Every weekend featured a long run between 11-14 miles, run as progressions so as to finish with a big negative split. One or two of my runs I finished close to HMP.
Overall, I’ve been highly consistent since July, for the most part feeling strong and mostly pain free, and without any of that pre-run dread that I was having earlier in the spring.
Mileage: 30, 41, 51, 51, 45, 39, 32 (race week)

Pre-race

After getting up on Friday to drive 6 hours to Winnipeg meet up with some family and go to a concert, I was up at 6:45 on Saturday to drive the final 2 hours to the Hecla resort where the race was being held. Race breakfast consisted of a bagel with peanut butter and some yogurt, and a cold brew coffee. I arrived at the hotel shortly after 9, where I checked in and grabbed my race package. The race didn’t start until 11, so I had a bit of time to chill in my hotel and get my gear ready.
The weather in the morning was cool (6C/43F) with a light rain and a steady breeze. Not ideal conditions, and I hemmed and hawed over what to wear in this kind of weather before settling on 4 inch shorts and a singlet with arm warmers. It was too icky to do my warm up outside so I found a treadmill in the hotel and jogged a mile on it. I also drank another can of cold brew coffee for a caffeine boost, and ate a handful of Reese’s Pieces for some sugar. The rest of the time pre-race was spent standing in the corner of the hotel lobby and shuffling in place to keep my core temp and HR up.
The layout of this course is like this: Generally pretty flat throughout. The first three miles is sheltered by trees, then the next 3 miles along the expansive shores of Lake Winnipeg facing a stiff wind that was half crosswind and half headwind. There’s a turnaround at 6 miles and then the headwind becomes a tailwind as you double back towards the start/finish. In the final 1.2 miles or so the pavement turns to gravel and loose rock (or in this case mud and puddles) and rolling/twisting trail. My strategy for the race was to take advantage of the sheltered and tailwind sections and try to bank as many seconds as possible for that tough final muddy offroad section. I wouldn’t bother with fuel or water during the race as I didn’t feel the need for any of that during any of my long runs this cycle. The magic number for a PR was 6:20/mile, so I wanted to log every possible mile comfortably under that time.
Another interesting twist to this race was that totally randomly, an elite Kenyan runner named Peter Ndungu had signed up for this race, and would be shooting for a 61 minute Canadian record. While earlier in the week I had been planning on winning this race and breaking course record (a very soft 1:25), suddenly I was going up against a world class runner. I giggled at the thought of somehow pulling out an improbable victory by taking advantage of the Canadian weather conditions. At the start line, I scoped out my competition (pretty difficult to miss him even though he started a few rows from the front). The start line was a small group of runners and a guy with a foghorn. After a pretty low-key one minute, and thirty second warning, he booped the foghorn and the race was on.

Race

First 5k
I enjoyed a brief 10 second lead before Ndungu blew by me and rounded the corner and quickly out of sight. I called out “good luck” to him as he passed, but he was all business and showed no sign of even noticing me. Spoiler alert: I did not beat him.
My first mile blew by effortlessly and painlessly. There was no wind to speak of in the early stage of the race, and the rain was just a drizzle and wasn’t much of a factor except for the occasional small puddle on the road. When I followed up my 6:15 first mile with 6:04, I reminded myself not to get too greedy and I settled into a nice rhythm with my heart rate hovering around 170. It was pretty lonely out there, with Ndungu way out in front, not being aware of anybody behind me, and no crowd support. But hey, I did 100% of my training runs solo, and did well on a solo 10k time trial a couple weeks prior, so I just had to stay within myself and remain focused on my goal. I logged a decent 6:11 third mile and hit the 5k mark at around 19:13.
2nd 5k
This second section was tough because of the crosswind that at times was almost directly in my face. I was thankful here for my decision to not wear a windbreaker as it would have created a lot more drag and probably slowed me down more during this section. As it was, my legs were still strong and fresh and my pace maintained very consistent, though my HR crept up to about 175 during that 6th mile as I was mostly directly into the wind. Ndungu passed me coming the other way at about the 5 mile mark, I clapped and cheered him on, but he again was stoic as we crossed paths. I myself hit the turnaround at the 6 mile mark and counted 20 seconds before I passed by the runner in third, so I knew I had a decent 40 second cushion. I was determined to maintain second place, but I figured if I could maintain my current pace he would have a hard time making up the 5 seconds per mile to catch me. I hit the 10k mark at around 38:32, meaning my second 5k was in 19:19, still pretty consistent.
3rd 5k
Once I hit the turnaround, I got to turn the other cheek so to speak, and get the other half of my face wet. It was a bit of a relief having a tailwind after working hard for mile 6. I passed the halfway point of the race at around 40:55. Now wind assisted, my HR immediately dropped down to the mid 160s and I logged a 6:08 for mile 7, boosted too by the entire field of half marathoners passing by in the other direction and cheering me on. As I settled down again and logged a 6:15 for mile 8, I did a bit of a systems check: lungs felt fine, legs still feeling strong, nothing really hurting. Good stuff. I logged a 6:22 for mile 9, my slowest split of the race which caught me a bit by surprise. It could either mean I lost focus for a second there, or it could have just been a GPS anomaly. In any case, I told myself to smarten up and remain focused. I hit the 15k mark at around 57:51, meaning my 3rd 5k was another 19:19, still holding pace.
4th 5k Around the 9 mile mark, the trees came back into play and the trees were no longer a factor. At this point I took stock of my position: my race predictor was telling me if I maintained pace at 6:15, I would end up around 1:22 which was comfortably under my 1:23 goal. Dare I try to shoot for a 1:21 and qualify for NYC right here and now? It would be pretty difficult but maybe… I was starting to feel a bit of fatigue in my quads but I figured I might as well try to turn it up a notch and see.
Ultimately, It was too little, too late. I logged a slightly faster 6:12 for mile 10 but my HR was climbing and I could feel the extra effort, I just didn’t have the distance left in the race to make up the time needed to get under 1:21. No matter. Sub 1:22 was definitely on the table, so I focused on that. I started passing the first of the 10k stragglers shortly after 10 miles (They started an hour after the half marathoners). 6:14 for mile 11. Last mile before the pavement turns to muddy trail, so I turned the effort up another notch and logged 6:08 for mile 12. Started to pass slow jogging 10k runners. Hit the 20k mark shortly after hitting trail, at 1:17:02 – 19:11, my fastest 5k split so far.
Final push
The last 1.2 miles were nuts. The trails were quite muddy from 12 hours of steady rain, and there were slicks of mud and water everywhere. The paths were narrow and twisty, and I was overtaking several small groups of slow jogging 10k runners. I was going all-out at this point and breathing in loud, barking gasps, so at least the runners ahead of me could hear me coming before I even had to call out for them, and people were really good about giving me the right of passage (they had been told to make way for Ndungu and his record attempt during the pre-race so people were really aware and courteous). I bombed my way through the trail, taking little stutter steps around corners to avoid slipping in mud. I turned the final corner and saw the finish line, checked my watch and I was 10 seconds under 1:22. I mustered all my strength for a final sprint to the finish and crossed the line in 1:21:57 – 2nd overall and a mere 16 minutes and 36 seconds from defeating an elite Kenyan marathoner.

Post-race

I was pretty gassed after crossing the finish line. I spent a minute doubled over and coughing for breath before turning back and getting my medal. The announcer called out my time and gave me a shout out, saying I would have smashed the course record if not for Ndungu’s 1:05:21 finish (not a Canadian record but a MB record). Now I know how Bekele felt when he came 2 seconds short of Kipchoge’s record in Berlin this year.
In all seriousness though, this was a very vindicating and emotional result for me. I had gone through some rough patches in my running this year, at some points even wondering if I would ever return to my previous form. After working so hard since July and finally feeling my speed come back, gaining confidence, and then have such a strong result in difficult race conditions today, shaving 72 seconds off my HM PR…needless to say I’m pretty pumped about it.
I came back to this race in part because of how good the post race amenities were, and this year was no exception. There was a soup station inside the hotel after the race, so I enjoyed a bowl and then went back to my room for a quick shower. Then they had a catered post-race hospitality room complete with servers handing out hot appetizers and beecocktails, all on the house, and a DJ. I stuck around for the awards presentations (I won an engraved wooden medal), and then laid on the bed in my room for a while before chilling out in the hotel’s Nordic spa, which included a mineral bath, hot tub, steam room, and cold plunge. Felt wonderful on my tender leg muscles. Then I grabbed a wood-fired steak pizza from the restaurant, and am now camping out on my bed surrounded by snack food, pizza and beer. Best post race ever.

What's next?

Now that my last race of the year is done, I’m going to cool it for a while. I trained hard through the harsh northern Canadian winter for the last two years and I think I deserve this winter off. I’ll be dropping my mileage down to a more manageable maintenance level of ~30 mpw and maybe do a bit of work in the gym as well.
I feel like I’m well set up for a go at sub 1:20 once I get started again in the spring. My immediate goals are to maintain my weight below 170 so I don’t have to cut weight during my next cycle like I did this time. Do a proper extended recovery cycle so I don’t have to deal with nagging injuries later. Remain consistent with my reduced mileage so I can do a quick and painless base build next spring. I will likely follow a very similar training structure for my next plan since it worked so well, just with slightly increased mileage and faster workout paces.
And with that, a perfect way to end my 2019 season!
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.
submitted by halpinator to running [link] [comments]


2019.10.06 04:36 halpinator 2019 Hecla Half Marathon - Kipchoge'd

Race Information

Goals

Goal Description Completed?
A PR (1:23:10)
B Sub 1:25

Splits

Mile Time Split Time
1 6:14 1st 5k 19:13
2 6:04 2nd 5k 19:19
3 6:11 3rd 5k 19:19
4 6:12 4th 5k 19:11
5 6:15 1st half 40:55
6 6:14 2nd half 41:03
7 6:07
8 6:15
9 6:22
10 6:11
11 6:14
12 6:07
13 6:15
13.2 1:15 (5:58 pace)

Pre-ramble

Hecla is a small village that’s a 2 hour drive north of Winnipeg (or 7 hours southeast of where I live), nestled along the shoreline of Lake Manitoba. The Hecla Half marathon is a fairly new race – founded in 2016, this is the 4th edition of the race. I stumbled across this race in 2016 when I decided I was going to train for a half marathon in Winnipeg, but didn’t bother to sign up for the race until it sold out. Desperate not to have all my training for naught, I discovered this race that was happening on the same weekend, and decided to give it a try. It’s held by the Lakeview Hecla Resort, which is a hotel/spa right at the start/finish line. After the race, they give you catered post-race food and drinks in their banquet room, and also give you access to the on-site pool and spa afterwards. Pretty good value for a race. The course itself is run on a few sections of closed-off highway, through part of the village of Hecla, and near the end of the race on 2 km of gravel trail.
My plan for the later half of the year post-Boston Marathon was to race a 5k, 10k, and fall half marathon. My work and volunteer schedule is pretty crazy, and didn’t work out to be able to race in Toronto or Winnipeg as I had initially wanted to do. But remembering the great experience I had at this race in 2016, I decided why not do it again?
Another intriguing element to this race is that when I raced it in 2016, I was juuuust starting to become more active on the Reddit running subs and this race was right before I started to learn more about proper training methods. At that stage in my life, I was 211 lbs (40 lbs heavier than I am now) and when I ran this course I finished in 1:40:55. Here’s the race report from that race if you’re interested
Looking long term, my goal is to qualify for NYC with a fast half marathon time (<1:21). I don’t think I’m quite there yet, but a strong showing at this race will help set the tone for training next spring where I hope to get it.

Training

Disclaimer: Fairly detailed description of my training below. Feel free to skip to the pre-race if you don’t care how fast I ran my LT intervals in August.
For all my training post-Boston, I’ve been essentially writing my own training plan, which is heavily modeled off Pfitzinger, but also includes some elements of Daniels and Tinman training methods. I’m starting to figure out for myself what I like and don’t like about some of these plans, and am starting to tailor them to my specific needs, weaknesses, and strengths.
So, quick recap from post-Boston to August: I didn’t have the race I envisioned in Boston; looking back at my training it was obvious that I wasn’t running consistently enough and I had vastly overestimated my fitness and underestimated the difficulty of the course.
After licking my wounds and taking a few easy weeks, I looked ahead to the Summit Run 5k in June. During this ~6 week block of training, I was averaging about 40 mpw, and also hitting the gym twice a week for some strength work to try and strengthen my hips. I was starting to develop some issues with my right adductor and tibialis posterior tendon which made running uncomfortable and not all that enjoyable, but I plodded along with a sense of duty until that race. I ended up finishing that race in a time of 19:02, good enough for a (by default because it’s my first 5k) PR and 1st overall, but it was clear that my body was battered and my heart wasn’t in it anymore, and I needed a reset.
Mileage: 28, 32, 38, 42, 35, 44, 35, 4.3 (race week)
My next race was a 10k in July, I decided to still race it because it is a local race, but I wouldn’t injure myself further by overreaching and overtraining leading up to it. The following 4 weeks of training were very minimal and during that time at least I can say my ankle and hip were healing up and starting to hold up better during my runs. I ran my 10k in 43:52, which is slow by my standards, but considering my low mileage for the previous 2 months, and the fact that I didn’t push too hard, I was happy with it because at least my hip didn’t bother me during the race.
Mileage: 12, 13, 10, 9, 19 (race week)
My 10k was an indicator to me that it was time to get back on the horse and start training for real again. I had another race coming up in August, this time a local 14k with some cash money on the line. My goal for this block of training was just to be consistent and build up my base mileage again. So I got to work. My only workouts were some short 2-4 mile LT intervals where I averaged a pace of 6:40-7:00/mile. The week before the race, on a 10 mile long run, I finally had a moment where things just felt like they clicked, I noticed that I was enjoying running again, that I was pushing my pace and feeling good, and it felt like a giant weight was lifted off my chest. I was back. I won my 8 mile race, averaging 6:18/mile over the 8 mile course, and I felt like I had my swagger back.
Mileage: 25, 33, 36, 41 (race week)
I had 7 weeks from that race until Hecla. I decided I wanted to peak around 50 mpw for a few weeks, and since it had been working so far, to stick with my schedule of a midweek workout and a weekend long run, with the rest of the running done at easy pace, with one or two runs including 6-8 strides to work on my running economy and get comfortable at speed.
My quality workouts broke down as follows:
Aug 28: 3 miles + 2 miles at LT (averaged 6:30 pace)
Sept 3: 5x1000m @ CV (Averaged 6:10 pace), 4x200m (5:20 pace)
Sept 10: 3.5 miles + 2.5 miles at LT (averaged 6:30 pace)
Sept 20: 10k time trial (37:50…6:05 pace)
Sept 24: 2x1200m + 3x800m @ V02 (Averaged 5:40 pace)
Every weekend featured a long run between 11-14 miles, run as progressions so as to finish with a big negative split. One or two of my runs I finished close to HMP.
Overall, I’ve been highly consistent since July, for the most part feeling strong and mostly pain free, and without any of that pre-run dread that I was having earlier in the spring.
Mileage: 30, 41, 51, 51, 45, 39, 32 (race week)

Pre-race

After getting up on Friday to drive 6 hours to Winnipeg meet up with some family and go to a concert, I was up at 6:45 on Saturday to drive the final 2 hours to the Hecla resort where the race was being held. Race breakfast consisted of a bagel with peanut butter and some yogurt, and a cold brew coffee. I arrived at the hotel shortly after 9, where I checked in and grabbed my race package. The race didn’t start until 11, so I had a bit of time to chill in my hotel and get my gear ready.
The weather in the morning was cool (6C/43F) with a light rain and a steady breeze. Not ideal conditions, and I hemmed and hawed over what to wear in this kind of weather before settling on 4 inch shorts and a singlet with arm warmers. It was too icky to do my warm up outside so I found a treadmill in the hotel and jogged a mile on it. I also drank another can of cold brew coffee for a caffeine boost, and ate a handful of Reese’s Pieces for some sugar. The rest of the time pre-race was spent standing in the corner of the hotel lobby and shuffling in place to keep my core temp and HR up.
The layout of this course is like this: Generally pretty flat throughout. The first three miles is sheltered by trees, then the next 3 miles along the expansive shores of Lake Winnipeg facing a stiff wind that was half crosswind and half headwind. There’s a turnaround at 6 miles and then the headwind becomes a tailwind as you double back towards the start/finish. In the final 1.2 miles or so the pavement turns to gravel and loose rock (or in this case mud and puddles) and rolling/twisting trail. My strategy for the race was to take advantage of the sheltered and tailwind sections and try to bank as many seconds as possible for that tough final muddy offroad section. I wouldn’t bother with fuel or water during the race as I didn’t feel the need for any of that during any of my long runs this cycle. The magic number for a PR was 6:20/mile, so I wanted to log every possible mile comfortably under that time.
Another interesting twist to this race was that totally randomly, an elite Kenyan runner named Peter Ndungu had signed up for this race, and would be shooting for a 61 minute Canadian record. While earlier in the week I had been planning on winning this race and breaking course record (a very soft 1:25), suddenly I was going up against a world class runner. I giggled at the thought of somehow pulling out an improbable victory by taking advantage of the Canadian weather conditions. At the start line, I scoped out my competition (pretty difficult to miss him even though he started a few rows from the front). The start line was a small group of runners and a guy with a foghorn. After a pretty low-key one minute, and thirty second warning, he booped the foghorn and the race was on.

Race

First 5k
I enjoyed a brief 10 second lead before Ndungu blew by me and rounded the corner and quickly out of sight. I called out “good luck” to him as he passed, but he was all business and showed no sign of even noticing me. Spoiler alert: I did not beat him.
My first mile blew by effortlessly and painlessly. There was no wind to speak of in the early stage of the race, and the rain was just a drizzle and wasn’t much of a factor except for the occasional small puddle on the road. When I followed up my 6:15 first mile with 6:04, I reminded myself not to get too greedy and I settled into a nice rhythm with my heart rate hovering around 170. It was pretty lonely out there, with Ndungu way out in front, not being aware of anybody behind me, and no crowd support. But hey, I did 100% of my training runs solo, and did well on a solo 10k time trial a couple weeks prior, so I just had to stay within myself and remain focused on my goal. I logged a decent 6:11 third mile and hit the 5k mark at around 19:13.
2nd 5k
This second section was tough because of the crosswind that at times was almost directly in my face. I was thankful here for my decision to not wear a windbreaker as it would have created a lot more drag and probably slowed me down more during this section. As it was, my legs were still strong and fresh and my pace maintained very consistent, though my HR crept up to about 175 during that 6th mile as I was mostly directly into the wind. Ndungu passed me coming the other way at about the 5 mile mark, I clapped and cheered him on, but he again was stoic as we crossed paths. I myself hit the turnaround at the 6 mile mark and counted 20 seconds before I passed by the runner in third, so I knew I had a decent 40 second cushion. I was determined to maintain second place, but I figured if I could maintain my current pace he would have a hard time making up the 5 seconds per mile to catch me. I hit the 10k mark at around 38:32, meaning my second 5k was in 19:19, still pretty consistent.
3rd 5k
Once I hit the turnaround, I got to turn the other cheek so to speak, and get the other half of my face wet. It was a bit of a relief having a tailwind after working hard for mile 6. I passed the halfway point of the race at around 40:55. Now wind assisted, my HR immediately dropped down to the mid 160s and I logged a 6:08 for mile 7, boosted too by the entire field of half marathoners passing by in the other direction and cheering me on. As I settled down again and logged a 6:15 for mile 8, I did a bit of a systems check: lungs felt fine, legs still feeling strong, nothing really hurting. Good stuff. I logged a 6:22 for mile 9, my slowest split of the race which caught me a bit by surprise. It could either mean I lost focus for a second there, or it could have just been a GPS anomaly. In any case, I told myself to smarten up and remain focused. I hit the 15k mark at around 57:51, meaning my 3rd 5k was another 19:19, still holding pace.
4th 5k Around the 9 mile mark, the trees came back into play and the trees were no longer a factor. At this point I took stock of my position: my race predictor was telling me if I maintained pace at 6:15, I would end up around 1:22 which was comfortably under my 1:23 goal. Dare I try to shoot for a 1:21 and qualify for NYC right here and now? It would be pretty difficult but maybe… I was starting to feel a bit of fatigue in my quads but I figured I might as well try to turn it up a notch and see.
Ultimately, It was too little, too late. I logged a slightly faster 6:12 for mile 10 but my HR was climbing and I could feel the extra effort, I just didn’t have the distance left in the race to make up the time needed to get under 1:21. No matter. Sub 1:22 was definitely on the table, so I focused on that. I started passing the first of the 10k stragglers shortly after 10 miles (They started an hour after the half marathoners). 6:14 for mile 11. Last mile before the pavement turns to muddy trail, so I turned the effort up another notch and logged 6:08 for mile 12. Started to pass slow jogging 10k runners. Hit the 20k mark shortly after hitting trail, at 1:17:02 – 19:11, my fastest 5k split so far.
Final push
The last 1.2 miles were nuts. The trails were quite muddy from 12 hours of steady rain, and there were slicks of mud and water everywhere. The paths were narrow and twisty, and I was overtaking several small groups of slow jogging 10k runners. I was going all-out at this point and breathing in loud, barking gasps, so at least the runners ahead of me could hear me coming before I even had to call out for them, and people were really good about giving me the right of passage (they had been told to make way for Ndungu and his record attempt during the pre-race so people were really aware and courteous). I bombed my way through the trail, taking little stutter steps around corners to avoid slipping in mud. I turned the final corner and saw the finish line, checked my watch and I was 10 seconds under 1:22. I mustered all my strength for a final sprint to the finish and crossed the line in 1:21:57 – 2nd overall and a mere 16 minutes and 36 seconds from defeating an elite Kenyan marathoner.

Post-race

I was pretty gassed after crossing the finish line. I spent a minute doubled over and coughing for breath before turning back and getting my medal. The announcer called out my time and gave me a shout out, saying I would have smashed the course record if not for Ndungu’s 1:05:21 finish (not a Canadian record but a MB record). Now I know how Bekele felt when he came 2 seconds short of Kipchoge’s record in Berlin this year.
In all seriousness though, this was a very vindicating and emotional result for me. I had gone through some rough patches in my running this year, at some points even wondering if I would ever return to my previous form. After working so hard since July and finally feeling my speed come back, gaining confidence, and then have such a strong result in difficult race conditions today, shaving 72 seconds off my HM PR…needless to say I’m pretty pumped about it.
I came back to this race in part because of how good the post race amenities were, and this year was no exception. There was a soup station inside the hotel after the race, so I enjoyed a bowl and then went back to my room for a quick shower. Then they had a catered post-race hospitality room complete with servers handing out hot appetizers and beecocktails, all on the house, and a DJ. I stuck around for the awards presentations (I won an engraved wooden medal), and then laid on the bed in my room for a while before chilling out in the hotel’s Nordic spa, which included a mineral bath, hot tub, steam room, and cold plunge. Felt wonderful on my tender leg muscles. Then I grabbed a wood-fired steak pizza from the restaurant, and am now camping out on my bed surrounded by snack food, pizza and beer. Best post race ever.

What's next?

Now that my last race of the year is done, I’m going to cool it for a while. I trained hard through the harsh northern Canadian winter for the last two years and I think I deserve this winter off. I’ll be dropping my mileage down to a more manageable maintenance level of ~30 mpw and maybe do a bit of work in the gym as well.
I feel like I’m well set up for a go at sub 1:20 once I get started again in the spring. My immediate goals are to maintain my weight below 170 so I don’t have to cut weight during my next cycle like I did this time. Do a proper extended recovery cycle so I don’t have to deal with nagging injuries later. Remain consistent with my reduced mileage so I can do a quick and painless base build next spring. I will likely follow a very similar training structure for my next plan since it worked so well, just with slightly increased mileage and faster workout paces.
And with that, a perfect way to end my 2019 season!
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.
submitted by halpinator to artc [link] [comments]


2019.06.22 05:13 NoTTExplain Manitoba Marathon Race Report

### Race information
* **What?** Manitoba Marathon
* **When?** June 13, 2019
* **How far?** 26.2 miles
* **Where?** Winnipeg, MB
* **Website:** [https://manitobamarathon.mb.ca/](https://manitobamarathon.mb.ca/)
* **Finish time:** 3:18

### Goals
Goal Description Completed?
-------------------------------
A 3:10 *No*
B 3:15 *No*
C 3:20 *Yes*
D Survive and finish *Yes*

### Splits
Mile Time
------------
1 7:18
2 7:23
3 7:23
4 7:20
5 7:16
6 7:22
7 7:17
8 7:18
9 7:19
10 7:13
11 7:20
12 7:16
13 7:26
14 7:17
15 7:29
16 7:28
17 7:25
18 7:31
19 7:33
20 7:42
21 7:43
22 7:50
23 8:00
24 8:05
25 8:10
26 8:09
Finish 2:22

### Background
Hello everyone! Long time lurker, first time poster. Apologies now for the wall of text incoming. I'm going to start this off by claiming that my background in running is virtually non-existent. I "ran" back in high school for sports but never was I part of a track team, didn't do any distance running of any kind, and from what I remember I wasn't particularly fast. After high school I did virtually nothing for a good 10 years. It wasn't until my 30's where I finally got interested in running. It started with a relay team one year which progressed to setting a personal goal of running a half marathon in 2015. From what I remember my "heavy" training didn't even exceed 20 miles per week for the couple months that I trained. Regardless, I still managed to hit my goal of sub 2 with a 1:59:15. I ran the same half in 2016 and 2017 with similar training and worse results. 2018 rolled around and I opted just to run in a relay section for the same course (6.5 miles). My fitness at that point had me running a 56 minute 10k...pretty bad.

It was at this point that vowed to turn things around and put in a serious effort into running. I read both Faster Road Racing and Advanced Marathoning and planned a half marathon for October. I built up my base mileage a bit and dove headfirst into a 12/43 half marathon plan. Probably wasn't the smartest idea given the lack of miles I've done in the past, but the training went well and my body adapted. Fast forward to October and I set a massive PR of 1:40:04 in the half. I was hooked! I cut back my mileage and coasted for the next couple months while I contemplated what my next goal would be. Needless to say, it brought me to signing up for the very same full marathon that I ran a relay portion earlier in the year. I would redeem myself on that course!

Oh, relevant information going into this training cycle - 35M, 6'3", 195 lbs (on race day)

### Training
I started aiming at a February start for training so I used January to bring me back to around to 40-50 MPW I was doing back in the fall. I kept going back and forth between a Pfitz 18/55 and an 18/70. I knew that I should do the 55, but I really wanted to crush it in my first marathon so ended up going with the 70. While I don't regret the choice it definitely came close to destroying me.

February in Winnipeg is cold. It frequently goes below -30 so most of my runs were indoors on a track. This was probably the worst part of the whole training cycle. Nothing spells boredom like running 200 laps on an indoor track, dodging people along the way. Once it warmed up to about -15 I started some of my runs outdoors and it became infinitely more enjoyable. The first mesocycle actually went quite well. The long runs were definitely the biggest change and the hardest to adapt to. Slowly but surely I had them under control and could spit out a 20 miler and still manage to walk the next day. I really focused on running slow and not pushing myself too hard. The last thing I wanted was an injury and initially I had no idea what kind of time I'd be able to run. In the back of my mind I thought anywhere from a BQ time to a 4:30 knowing full well I'd have to readjust expectations closer to the date. It just so happened that there was a half I signed up for 6 weeks from the big day. Even after running a 65 mile week before I dropped my previous PR from 8 months ago from a 1:40 to a 1:31 (with gas left in the tank by the end). Now we're getting somewhere!

My celebration was short lived though. I gave myself extra time within this cycle so I could recover from the half but I couldn't shake this soreness in my calves. Even massaging several times per day and super easy recovery runs I just couldn't get back on track. I said enough was enough and took 6 days off until I was feeling a bit better. This helped, but it threw a bit of a wrench into the 3rd mesocycle I was in. Prior to the half I had hit 99% of the workouts. After the half and resting for 6 days I hit about 90% of the remaining mileage but cut some of the speed work. It wasn't until I was in the taper and got into the last week where I was truly convinced that my legs were ok. In retrospect I likely overtrained and that half pushed me over the edge. Lesson learned.

Heading into the final week I finally started to lock in an actual prediction. You can't predict the Winnipeg weather in June. Sometimes it's near perfect, sometimes it's 20 degrees with 100% humidity and full of sun. I knew a 3:10 was possible in perfect conditions but still very hard to achieve based on my half time. 3:15 was the more realistic goal but I've read many stories here about people falling apart in their first marathons so backup to that was a 3:20. I figured if I can't hit that something went terribly wrong and just finishing is the goal.

### Pre-race
The race starts at 7am so I woke up at 4:25am (5 minutes before my alarm went off!). Ate a bagel and banana, drank some water, and got dressed. My wife drove me to the bus pickup for 5:30am which took me the last couple miles into the stadium where the race starts/ends. This gives me plenty of time to hit the washroom, sip some water, and have a nice, easy warm up. 30 minutes to go I pop a gu and hit the washroom one last time before I head to the corral.

There were supposed to be pacers in the corrals but the closest I could find was a 3:30 and a 3:40 pacer. Oh well, guess I'm running my own race now. Despite being the largest marathon in Winnipeg the field size was only around 800 so I didn't expect there to be lot of people to run with. I set my own target pace of 7:20/mi to see how that would feel and reevaluate as I get into it. I knew fueling would be key so I had 6 gu's with me and intended on drinking gatorade at any station I wasn't taking a gu at. I also made a promise to myself to slow down and hit every water station and ensure I got at least 1 cup of drink and that it actually went down the hatch. I sweat a lot and even in the cool weather I'd be drenched so staying hydrated was key.

Weather was near perfect. Sitting around 11 degrees, full cloud cover, 50% humidity, and light winds. This is about as good as it can get for this course!

### Miles [1] to [5]
The race starts and everyone shoots off. Thankfully the half and the full marathon are apart from each other for the first mile so it isn't a mass of people to contend with at first. I still get caught up for the first minute or two and quickly drop my 6:30 pace back down to the 7:20 range. The pace feels almost effortless as I'm clipping off the miles. I'm right in the ballpark pace +/- 3 seconds. Feeling great so far! Pop in my first gu right around mile 4.

### Miles [6] to [10]
Still feeling fantastic as I'm entering the downtown section of the race. This leads into the Wolseley area of town where there's lots of trees. It's just a great area to run in and most of my long training runs were through this area. I pop another gu around mile 8. Legs are great and HR is in check.

### Miles [11] to [15]
My family showed up 3 times over the next 5 miles. I was so happy to see them and give my boys high fives. Kudos to my wife for navigating through the traffic and beat me to each location. Things are getting a bit harder now. Pace is on track but I had a slower one on 13 as I went through the water station and struggled getting down a gu + some water. I finally hit a snag at mile 15. My stomach wasn't feeling very good. I practiced taking gu's frequently during training but not quite to the same extent taking gatorade in between gu's. Thought maybe it was too much to handle. My pace was still decent but slipped a bit.

### Miles [16] to [20]
It was at this point where I knew I had to be in decent shape going into mile 20 or else it wasn't going to end well. My legs were getting a bit heavy as my pace slowed to around 7:30/mi. HR was dropping with it. I opted to keep at this pace rather than pushing hard and blowing up. 3:15 was starting to look like the best case at this point so that became my new target. Popped a gu at 16 and 20 and washed them down with some water. Stomach appeared to be back on track although I was taking gatorade more sparingly. It was also at this point I noticed I was pretty much alone. A few people far off in the distance, a few more behind me that didn't pace themselves well.

### Miles [21] to [Finish]
It all came down to the final 10k. I was alone for most of it. Anyone I caught up to I passed like I was the flash. But I also recall a couple passing me making me look like the slowpoke. Pace slowly dropped with my slowest mile knocking off at 8:11/mi at mile 25. My legs were definitely feeling it now. This was by far the hardest mental and physical thing I can ever recall doing. I'm still not sure if I hit the wall - it never got to the point where I wanted to walk. Maybe slightly? Definitely no hard crash though. I felt mentally alert right until the end. Positive too. Kept motivating myself to keep on going. Legs just didn't want to move with me. By about mile 23 I knew that 3:15 was out the window but I knew if I held on that 3:20 was still an option. I held on tight right until the bitter end. Eventually I see the stadium and give what little I have left. Make the final turn into the stadium and almost stop too early! Whoops! Another 100m and at last I can rest.

### Post-race
I receive my medal and stumble over to recovery. The full marathoners had dedicated food and massages on the infield. I snag a bit of everything and cringe as I flop onto the ground and shove some food in my face. It's slow going but I make my way over to the massage tables which felt so good and so horrible at the same time. The walk to the bus is VERY slow, but I eventually make it back to the drop-off where my wife picks me up and takes me home. More food and nap later in the day makes for a fantastic father's day!

### What's next?
You couldn't have wiped the smile off my face after I check my chip time of 3:18:33. Almost a week later and I'm still smiling! Now I need to figure out what's next. I'd absolutely love to run a BQ so I can participate in Boston 2021. For now I'm taking a much needed break. I'm going to give my body time to properly recover. The rough plan is to go into maintenance mode but add in some other activity along the way. I'll probably start 5x5 stronglifts since it's been too long since I've lifted. I've accepted the fact that I'll never be light so I'm going to focus on building a bit more strength while cutting some more fat while I'm not in a training program. I'm sure I'll get the itch to race again in no time so I want to be as best prepared for when that happens.

*This post was generated using [the new race-reportr](https://coachview.github.io/race-report), powered by [coachview](https://www.coachview.io), for making organized, easy-to-read, and beautiful race reports.*
submitted by NoTTExplain to AdvancedRunning [link] [comments]


2018.10.27 15:22 likealoverlikeasong Levi Richards Son of Nike

Levi Richards

General Information

Age: 16
Birthday: December 18
Family:
  • Dawson Richards (father)
  • Nike (mother, divine parent)
  • Alexandra Richards (stepmother)
  • Skye, Isabelle, Roman, Gordon Richards (younger siblings in order from youngest to oldest, ranging from 3 years old to 12 years old)
Birthplace: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, however Levi spent the last few years of his life on the far west coast of Canada in Victoria, BC.

Appearance

Levi has been an athlete pretty well his whole life. From a very early age, he had been involved in many sports, most notably football, baseball, and basketball, though he certainly dabbled in other sports. His decent height of 6'2 certainly aided him in these sports, and as a result of hard training and striving to win every game he plays, his body is toned and he certainly has the strength to show for it. Weighing in at a fairly average 170 pounds, Levi isn't portrayed as a bodybuilder, though his tense muscles are definitely noticeable.
Considered handsome by most (maybe as a result of his position in school sports especially), Levi's face is a nice combination of being squared in the right places, and rounded in the others. His porcelain straight smile matches his personality; confident and sharp. Levi's hair, though sometimes messy, retains a spiky posture in the front, a silvery hue complimenting his naturally blonde hair, making for a unique and generally pleasant combination of colour. Levi's eyes are a brilliant green, one that would remind somebody of a lush rainforest which is in growth. A thin, shimmering gold chain is generally always wrapped around his neck, though tucked under his shirt. Similarly, Levi's left ear is pierced and he usually has his earring in.
Clothing wise, Levi dresses semi casually. The son of Victory's wardrobe consists mostly of dark coloured jeans and a few pairs of sweatpants for working out and keeping his physique sharp. His shirts, clinging tightly to his upper body, while recognizable with an American Eagle logo or something similar, do not stand out. Perhaps for what he lacks in extravagant clothing, Levi makes up for in his personality with confidence and mischievousness.

Temperament, Interests, Disorders

Levi, as noted previously, is an outstanding athlete. His unknown (until now) divine heritage likely helped him get this far, though years of success and leadership with his various teams contribute to a lot of confidence in the young man. Confidence in himself and his ability to inspire others. Though pride especially should not be derived from confidence, Levi can't help it sometimes. His confidence often leads to a feeling of pride, though it's not overwhelming enough so as to come off as arrogance (unless someone sees pleasure in one's achievements as arrogance). Very, very rarely does his confidence lead to arrogance. It takes a lot of stroking of his ego. Levi is an easygoing young man with an outgoing nature; he could make conversation with pretty well anybody, a trait that proves useful in avoiding awkwardness. Despite being a nice enough kid with a nice personality, Levi is known to get into harmless mischief when he's feeling it, a pasttime that is charming in essence and one that usually doesn't lead to any real trouble. Just enough rule-bending to satisfy him, and maybe even give someone else around him a chuckle. Worth noting is the fact that Levi can be quite the flirt to certain people, and with his confidence, he isn't afraid to let you know what he wants. In very rare occasions, when his pride is tested or someone goes too far, rationality is thrown out the window and a physical altercation seems like the way to solve the problem to him. This isn't very common, and takes a lot from somebody to push him over that line.
Levi's interests can often change as he picks things up and puts others down. He has a knack for moving from hobby to hobby, perhaps picking up a thing or two from someone skillful in the field, and then moving along to another thing. Jack of all trades, master of sports, I guess?.. Camp Half-Blood may make him have to settle down with jumping from interest to interest, and he may have to work on just improving himself even more physically and getting to know real weapons a little better. His few interests that stay constant are a passion for sports (and winning them, specifically), exciting music that "really gets your blood pumping," (exact quote from some point in his life), and expressing himself creatively, though generally without words. For example, Levi likes to paint, or sometimes just sketch in a small notebook. While obsessed with bettering himself physically, Levi's mind is overclocked, for a lack of better terms, always working to the best of its ability. Perhaps it's this trait of his mind that allows him to think of strategies quickly, always allowing him to come up with something better for whatever team he may be working with, and whatever goal they may be working toward (scoring another touchdown to secure the game, or killing monsters). One would probably call this ADHD. Levi, like most young demigods, possesses the two disorders which seem to manifest themselves together, ADHD and dyslexia. Perhaps this is the reason Levi likes to express himself more without words, since his mind and his surroundings seem to be wanting to speak two different languages.

Divinity

Levi's mother is Nike, the Goddess of Victory. His divine heritage lends itself very graciously to Levi, considering his assertiveness and leadership when it comes to sports in particular, and likely when it comes to battles surrounding camp and its inhabitants.
  • Passive Power: Above Average Speed and Agility
Levi's passive power, inherited from his mother, is one that has aided him greatly in the past. Being able to move quickly and in a controlled manner has led to him being an all-star of sorts at his previous schools, a fact that he prides himself on. Levi's enhanced speed allows him to generally move quicker in one direction than his either mortal or otherwise opposing demigod counterparts (ones that would have put in the same amount of work into sprinting), and his agility allows him to control this speed with less effort. A useful power to have, and even more useful that he utilizes it passively.
  • Unique Power: Extremely Lucky
Levi, even in challenges outside of sports, has had the trait of being lucky. If he's hoping for an outcome of something that's purely luck-based, his divine heritage can apparently affect that. Being told these powers and how he has them is shocking to Levi, though they aren't things that he hasn't noticed about himself previously.
  • Unique Power: Ability to Enhance Other's Chances of Winning
Levi's luck, when he's really channeling it, can even influence other people's chances of succeeding positively. While this can't help in skill-based endeavors, it can prove useful in other select and specific scenarios.
  • Unique Power: Swordsmanship Expertise
This is the power Levi has the least knowledge of. In all the sports he's tried, Levi has never tried fencing or something similar. Though, once he picks a sword up at camp, it'll likely feel at home in his hand. Despite having never held a sword before, it'll come more naturally to Levi when he does have one in his grasp, which I'm sure will prove useful to him when he has to fight a monster or two to defend his new home.

Backstory

Much of Levi's backstory is unknown. He says it's uneventful, which is unlikely for a child who is half divine. What's known is that he was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, and moved west in the country to Victoria, British Columbia. Levi's father, Dawson Richards, a wealthy oral surgeon, claims he and Levi's mother parted ways when Levi was much younger, and Dawson met Levi's now stepmother, Alexandra, when Levi was around 2 years old. They've been together ever since and have had four kids, all of which Levi gets along with well despite him being the outcast of sorts. Then, out of the blue, Levi's football coach called Levi to his office and asked him a bunch of weird questions pertaining to nothing in particular. Coach Ferguson, Levi's mentor for the last two years or so, then explained the demigod situation, and how Coach has been serving as Levi's protector for the last couple of years. This was the easiest way to get him to come to camp, essentially. While shock set in, Levi's father encouraged him to go to camp for his own protection, so he could be with others like him and learn how to handle himself because of his divinity.
More will come of his story at a later date.

Now

The newly found son of Victory, in all of his jet lagged glory, after all of his transfer planes and taxi rides, finds himself at the top of the hill into camp. The first thing he notices is how beautiful the place is; it could be the fall colours, the mixing of reds, yellows, and oranges, but it's the architecture, too. The place was built nicely, a welcoming feeling to Levi. The confident young man, with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, takes a deep breath staring out over camp; it was welcoming, but that doesn't mean it wasn't overwhelming.
After Levi's long journey east and south, he finds himself at home. His eyes have heavy bags offering a bold underline to his deep green irises. Despite his obvious exhaustion and confusion, Levi wears his charming and confident smile, offering a nod to any campers walking past. And with that, he steps deeper into the place serving as his new home, walking relatively aimlessly, soaking in all of his surroundings. His face, while confident, is shrouded in the look of confusion and wonder most new campers involuntarily shape onto themselves. Despite this confusion and wonder, he stares at every building he passes by, maybe one of these times finding the place he's supposed to be staying.
submitted by likealoverlikeasong to CampHalfBloodRP [link] [comments]


2018.04.28 21:22 tlsnine TPIA Winnipeg Internet Providers - Cable or Better

Hi All
**** UPDATE ****
There’s been some fantastic feedback so far. Thank you to everyone contributing! I’ve got a cleaned up list going here: https://www.reddit.com/Winnipeg/comments/8ftx04/nonauthoritative_list_of_internet_providers_in/
I’ll take some time to format it soon.
**** END ****
Time for another internet provider thread, but I'm hoping for this one to be more specific than others…
I’m looking to gather a list of internet providers in Winnipeg that can provide at least the same specs and basic pricing as Shaw’s 150Mbs offering (at least on paper)
I do NOT care about TV at all; just internet capabilities as I’m a cord-cutter!
Since the CRTC has stepped in and mandated competition, I realize there are now a few TPIAs (3rd party) providers out there but I’m looking for anything I might have missed.
I also realize that there are very good to very, VERY bad reviews for each but so can be said of Shaw and MTS so I’m not concentrating on that aspect right now; just the fact of whether the option exists or not. No flame wars right now, please. There’s plenty of time for those later :P
I’ve purposely not included BellMTS as their true fibre offerings are available in only a very select few areas of Winnipeg (where I'm not) and I want/need more than 50Mbs.
My list so far:
https://www.vmedia.ca/en/internet/manitoba
https://www.teksavvy.ca/en/residential/internet/cable
https://www.ciktel.com/InternetPlans/CableInternet
https://www.heronet.ca/ (not confirmed by me personally)
http://les.net/internet/ (Full provider. Not a TPIA - downtown or line of site microwave)
For the most part, every company on my list requires you to buy or rent a compatible modem, which is fair I guess. Compatible modems seem to be around the $80-120 range if you shop around.
The pricing sweet-spot for 150Mbs plans seem to be ~$70/mth for each.
I’ve included les.net because of their potential of massive speeds, knowing the caveats are you need line of site from their building downtown (or need to be downtown), and their higher monthly cost. I’m also not sure what their installation prices might be for the line of site setup. The thought of symmetrical speeds has my interest piqued though!
Thought I should also mention that I’ve previously contacted Manitoba Hydro about getting on their fibre lines. It can be done, but the installation prices can be astronomical if you’re not like literally next to one of their interconnects. (Potentially several tens of thousands of dollars to run a line as they charge by the metre!)
Thanks for taking the time to read and providing any contributions you might have! :)
I found another potential: https://www.lightspeed.ca/ - They're in the planning stages to come to Wpg, but they can't give me a firm date yet.
submitted by tlsnine to Winnipeg [link] [comments]


2018.02.07 01:42 King_of_Anything [CONFLICT] Operation Wild Winter

From the Office of the President of the Northern Union

A Series of Unfortunate Events

By releasing classified information on circa-2017 United States weapons and combat doctrines to Russia, the Midwest has irreparably and irreversibly compromised Northern Union security as an American successor state. While the fusion of Royal Canadian and Northern Atlantic Commonwealth Armed Forces has provided some measure of insulation, the Northern Union Ministry of Defence cannot ignore that the Midwest has undermined our capability to contain our greatest rival. Ultimately, we see this as a direct violation of the bilateral non-aggression treaty signed between the Midwest and the Northern Union (inherited from Canada), and we have suspended all other agreements signed with the Midwest effective immediately.
The Northern Union has cast its support in favor of combat operations helmed by the United States, joining a NATO Coalition arrayed against the Midwestern nation. Our nation seeks to prevent further leaks of critical information, remove the threat of Midwestern aggression on North American soil (as demonstrated against nations like Cascadia), and reinforce continental security. Unfortunately, the vehicle chosen for the resolution of these threats is war.
As the largest combined-arms operation ever carried out by the Northern Union Armed Forces, Operation Wild Winter will involve all branches of the Northern Union Armed Forces, except the Northern Union Marine Corps.
May God have mercy on our souls.
~ Charles Duane Baker, Jr., President of the Northern Union

OPERATION WILD WINTER

Administrative Bureau of Cyber-Defence

Note: This will only occur after NU Model Air Army Reconnaissance is conducted.
Prior to NU Model Air Army Combat Operations, the Administrative Bureau of Cyber-Defence has been ordered to launch a large-scale cyberattack against the states of Michigan, Minnesota, Wisconsin and Ohio. ABCD has been explicitly ordered to target the Midwestern Integrated Air Defence Network, civilian and military communications infrastructure, and energy infrastructure, with the objective of either disabling or destroying these systems in advance of Northern Union air operations. Even after combat operations begin, ABCD has been ordered to continue hammering the Midwest with rolling cyberattacks, keeping them off balance as much as possible. Newly-constructed Midwestern cyber infrastructure is to be countered repeatedly by the QUORUM Quantum Supercomputing Clusters, with Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar actively performing systems penetration and introducing custom-designed worms into active communications nodes.

NU Model Air Army & Air National Guard

NUMAA Operations Map (with intent to establish air superiority for both circles)
Air operations against the Midwest will be a coordinated effort jointly led by the NU Model Air Army’s WESAT and EASAT commands, with WESAT HQ handling missions in Minnesota and Wisconsin, and EASAT HQ focusing mostly on Michigan. Both Air Theatres have been offered to provide each other mutual support, with overlapping air coverage offering redundancies to ensure the success of this operation. The closest NUMAA staging areas are to the Midwestern border are UFB Winnipeg and UFB Borden. NU Model Air Army AAR planes will be responsible for keeping planes in the air, with mid-air refuelers allowing extended operations from both sites.
ARCAT and ATLAT have been ordered to provide additional support for these theatres, with their combat assets relocated and placed temporarily under EASAT control for the duration of this operation.

Reconnaissance and SIGINT Interference

Note: The RADARSAT Constellation and other CF-provided intelligence systems will be used to determine if Midwestern forces are moving south and east to reinforce fronts against the United States. When the United States renews its attack against the Midwest, the Northern Union will use this critical distraction to begin NU Model Air Army operations while the Midwest’s attention is diverted.
Prior to the ABCD cyberattacks, RQ-4 Global Hawks and A/AEW-4 Lookouts will conduct advanced reconnaissance across Michigan, northern Minnesota, and northeastern Wisconsin. Data gathered by these aircraft will be used supplement information gathered by RADARSAT and data provided from Columbian orbital intelligence constellations and IR BMEWS Arrays. To avoid raising suspicions even with the open skies agreement still in force, all aircraft have been ordered to avoid explicitly breaching Midwestern airspace, to instead remain over Northern Union territories and the Great Lakes near the Midwestern border. Identification of Midwestern Air Force concentrations, air defense systems, and army/national guard forces will be prioritized. These aircraft will also be used to provide SIGINT interference for the next stage of the operation.
Taking advantage of the open skies agreement, one hour before the scheduled ABCD cyberattack is scheduled to occur, RQ-4 Global Hawks deployed along the Midwestern border during the earlier Reconnaissance phase will penetrate deep into Midwestern territory, to gather as much intelligence about Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin-based forces, in a final attempt to complete a comprehensive intelligence picture. As the maximum speed of the Global Hawk is 629 km/hr, this will effectively allow full up-to-date intelligence coverage of the three states.

NU Model Air Army Totals (Reconnaissance and SIGINT)

Count Unit Type Role
18 A/AEW-4 Lookout Airborne Early Warning and Control
40 EQ-4B Global Hawk Surveillance and Communications UAV

Ensuring Air Superiority: Midwestern IADS, Airbases, and Ships

With the Midwestern Integrated Air Defence Network crippled by ABCD cyberattacks, advanced F-35A Block 9 aircraft outfitted with air-to-ground loadouts will take advantage of their low-observability to perform SEAD against Midwestern ground-based AAW installations, SAM launchers, air defence radars, mobile batteries, and IADS operations centers located via SIGINT and Satellite Intelligence reconnaissance. The exact number of F-35A Lightning II Block 9s chosen for strike missions will vary, optimized (with some redundancy for contingencies) for each target based on satellite intelligence and other reconnaissance data. Sorties of these fighter jets will be armed with decoys to flush out previously-undetected radar and SAM sites, jamming them with MALD-J airborne jammers, and targeting them with Columbian-provided APCMs, HSSW-Bs, homing Anti-Radiation Missiles (ARM), CHAMP missiles, Tomahawks, JSOWs, and other Stand Off Weapons. Using of a blend of older weapons systems with newer hypersonic ordnance and stealth missiles is a deliberate choice, allowing the NU Model Air Army planes to overwhelm the air defence network through saturation attacks. In the highest-risk sectors, these planes will be equipped with missiles with a long standoff range (e.g. the APCM), limiting their exposure to enemy AAW fire.
An explicit decision has been made to dismantle the IADS by hitting local and sector operation centers. By preventing the IADS from collating data from various sources, Midwestern air defence effectiveness should drop exponentially. Dismemberment of the IADS into individual air defense assets will allow the Northern Union Air Army to concentrate forces against each of these systems in turn, all the while escorting strike packages with enough EW and SEAD aircraft to make them difficult to engage by Midwestern ground systems.
While destruction of the Midwestern air defence network continues, simultaneous strike missions have also been authorized against the Midwestern Air Force and Air National Guard bases, prioritizing the elimination of runways and airplane hangars in devastating first-strike operations. Because the United States has successfully destroyed Battle Creek Air National Guard Base during prior operations, the following bases have been selected for dismemberment:
The Midwest deployed several combat vessels during its conflict against the United States. These ships include four Freedom-class Littoral Defence Ships, which are considered critical threats to Northern Union Air Superiority. NU Model Air Army aircraft with strike payloads have been ordered to treat these vessels as targets of opportunity, damaging or sinking them if the ships enter the Northern Union's Area of Operations.
Direct escort for the strike operations listed above will be provided by a combination of 6th-generation F-37 TIP 1s and the remaining F-35A Lightning II Block 9s, with these squadrons outfitted with air superiority loadouts. These planes will use their organic EW capabilities, high-energy laser systems, and XIM-185 Atlatl and XIM-187 Typical air-to-air missiles to protect the F-35As with strike loadouts from AAW weapons. The use of only low-observable aircraft during the air superiority phase is a deliberate choice, allowing entire wings and their escorts to evade detection until the last possible moment, maximizing success against critical ground targets.
AEW&C, ground targeting information, and additional reconnaissance will be provided by A/AEW-4 Lookouts and surviving Global Hawk UAVs, respectively, which will have moved up in support of air forces. The Argos netrocentric battlespace and its battlespace management artificial intelligence, Io, are capable of sifting through massive amounts of combat data, directing aircraft to zones of control where they're needed most. Io enables the Northern Union to operate a large number of planes in concert, acting as a director to ensure all planes remain fueled and protected during the scope of the operation, and pinpointing where each combat aircraft should be based on factors such as remaining fuel and onboard weaponry. These AEW&C aircraft are escorted by a dedicated squadron of F-23 Black Widows air superiority fighters with XIM-185 Atlatl and XIM-187 Typical air-to-air missile loadouts.
If Midwestern aircraft are identified as attempting to intercept any of the planes mentioned previously by Northern Union AEW&C aircraft, HALE UAVs, and/or the RADARSAT constellation, F/A-55 Peregrines will be scrambled from Northern Union airbases UFB Bagotville, UFB Cold Lake, and UFB Resolute Bay to assist. These hypersonic interceptors are capable of Mach 9.5, allowing even those stationed at Resolute Bay airfields from reaching the extreme limits of their 2300 nmi combat radius in under 22 minutes. (This also allows interceptor wings stationed in Quebec to be over Grand Rapids airspace in six minutes and 38 seconds.) Standard loadout for all Peregrines is the AIM/RIM/MIM-189 Widespread missile, a 700km-ranged standoff air-to-air weapon which can be launched by the aircraft while the plane is still traveling at hypersonic speed, limiting exposure to return fire. While not low-observable, the speed of these interceptors will allow each wing to concentrate against Midwestern air forces that are attempting to intercept (or are currently engaged with) Northern Union Air Superiority assets.

NU Model Air Army Totals (Ensuring Air Superiority)

Count Unit Type Role
252 F/A-55 Peregrine Hypersonic Interceptor
144 F-37 Warhawk II TIP1 6th-gen Air Superiority
24 F-23 Black Widow 5th-gen Air Superiority
336 F-35A Lightning II Block 9 6th-gen Multirole (mix of Air Superiority and strike loadouts)
40 KC-46 Pegasus Mid-Air Refueling
18 A/AEW-4 Lookout Airborne Early Warning and Control
40 EQ-4B Global Hawk Surveillance and Communications UAV

Protecting NU Airspace

While Air Superiority operations are ongoing, the Eurofighter Typhoon Tranche 3Bs of the NU Model Air Army and the reserve F-35A Lightning II Block 9s of the Air National Guardsmen have been ordered to perform rotating overflights of Ontario and Manitoba, but will not be conducting combat sorties into Midwestern airspace. They are to be outfitted with XIM-185 Atlatl and XIM-187 Typical air-to-air loadouts, and have been instructed to interdict Midwestern aircraft attempting to breach Northern Union sovereign airspace. (If necessary, hypersonic interceptors will be diverted to assist them.)

NU Model Air National Guard Totals (Protecting NU Airspace)

Count Unit Type Role
192 F-35A Lightning II Block 9 6th-gen Multirole (air superiority package)
96 Eurofighter Typhoon Tranche 3B 4th-gen Multirole (air superiority package)
5 KC-46 Pegasus Mid-Air Refueling

Northern Union Air Defence Network

To complement NU Model Air National Guard operations, a significant number of MEADS and THAAD batteries deployed in Manitoba and Ontario close to the Minnesota and Michigan borders and various population centers have been placed on alert alongside AN/SPY-8M Radar Vehicles, with orders to intercept Midwestern aircraft, cruise missiles, and ballistic missiles violating Northern Union airspace. Several MEADS batteries have been ordered to adopt forward positions to maximize their spheres of protection, with several relocated near the city limits of Piney, Manitoba, Fort Frances, Ontario, Thunder Bay, Ontario, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Point Edward, Ontario and Windsor, Ontario. In conjunction with other MEADS batteries in more Northern positions, this will provide a layered air defence system against Midwestern counterattacks by air. To expedite operations, the units deployed closest to the Midwestern border will be airdropped.
(Note: Windsor, Point Edward and Sault Ste. Marie are close enough to the Midwestern border that MEADS batteries located at these sites will provide air defence umbrellas for Detroit, Port Huron, and Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, respectively.)

NU Model Air Army Totals (Northern Union Air Defence Network)

Count Unit Type Role
20 MEADS Battery Mobile Anti-Aircraft Warfare Ground Support
6 THAAD Battery Anti-Ballistic Missile Ground Support
20 AN/SPY-8M Vehicle Mobile Air Defence Radar Ground Support
13 C-17 Globemaster III Strategic Airlift
20 C-5 Galaxy Strategic Airlift
17 CC-130J Super Hercules Tactical Transport

Bombing Campaign

Note: Surviving F-37A TIP 1s and F/A-55 Peregrines from the Air Superiority Campaign will provide air-to-air escort and air intercept for the remainder of these missions. F-35A Block 9 aircraft may also be tasked for air supremacy operations, if not engaged in bombing runs. Air National Guard F-35s will continue their defensive patrols of Northern Union airspace. Once air superiority is achieved, Eurofighter Typhoon Tranche 3Bs previously deployed defensively, surviving F-35A Block 9s, and massed swarms of UAT-6 B Timber Wolf aircraft modified for electronic warfare are to be fitted for strike missions against Midwestern Army and National Guard assets in Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin, to cripple army and national guard forces across these combat theatres. The manned aircraft are to be deliberately screened during attack runs by massed swarms of Timber Wolf UAVs, in order to protect them from return fire from any ground-based anti-air systems that may have survived the previous phase.

Sinking the Midwestern "Navy"

Midwestern combat ships are to be treated as priority targets during this stage of the operation. If the Freedom-class LCSes are diverted to the Great Lakes from the Mississippi, they will be hunted down and destroyed if they attempt to enter Lake Michigan. All armed Midwestern vessels are to be considered hostile, and will be sunk with impunity.

Army and National Guard Bases

Precision JDAM strikes have been authorized against the following bases, with orders to prioritize destruction of military vehicles, vehicle bays, generators, ammunition lockers, and fuel depots to be prioritized:
Highway and railway infrastructure between these bases will also be targeted by air, to isolate each location and hinder attempts to regroup.

Communications and Energy Infrastructure

Communications networks servicing Midwestern bases that were hit by the ABCD cyberattack are to be destroyed by airstrikes before they can recover. Likewise, energy infrastructure such as power lines and substations leading to Midwestern bases are to be downed or destroyed, isolating surviving bases and slowing the Midwestern army’s ability to regroup.

Land Transportation Infrastructure

NU Model Air Army aircraft issued strike packages have been ordered to disrupt highway networks and railway lines across the breadth of southern Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin. Precision strikes have been authorized against roads, railroads, tunnels, overpasses, and bridges along the southern borders of these three states, aiming to isolate them from the rest of the Midwest. Extreme care has been taken to prioritize Michigan transportation infrastructure over the other two states.

Air-dropped Minefields

Using the GATOR mine system, the NU Model Air Army will deliver minefields across the southern borders all three states. 400 x Air Force CBU-89/Bs have been dedicated towards comprehensive mining of the southern Michigan border across highways and passable terrain. Minnesota and Wisconsin will receive 150 x CBU-89/Bs each, with these minefields to be randomly allocated along their southern highway networks. The 700 mines involved in this operation have been preset to self-destruct in 15 days. In keeping with the Ottawa Treaty, each CBU-89/B munition will have its 22 antipersonnel mines removed, replaced with an equivalent number of anti-vehicle mines.

Civilian Airports in Michigan

To hinder Midwestern logistics for reinforcements attempting to lift the occupation of Detroit, the runways of several civilian airports are to be explicitly targeted by comprehensive JDAM strikes, denying them as forward bases for surviving Midwestern Air Force aircraft and logistical resupply by air. Pilots tasked with the elimination of these runways have been ordered to exercise extreme care, with NU Model Air Army strikes ordered to avoid targeting commercial airliners, civilian cargo planes, recreational aircraft and terminals in order to minimize civilian casualties. Selected airports include:

Hampering Cross-Border Reinforcements

After strike missions against bases, roads, and airports are concluded, combat Air Patrols of UAT-6B Timber Wolf UAVs outfitted with anti-vehicle and anti-personnel strike ordnance supported by Global Hawk UAVs will be forward-deployed across the Michigan, Wisconsin, and Minnesota air theatres. These UAVs are to be placed in autonomous patrol patterns close to the southern borders of each state, with orders to automatically attack and disrupt targets of opportunity entering their zones of control. Where possible, these UAVs have been authorized to engage Midwestern ground forces in an attempt to disperse force concentrations and blunt a counterattack. Additionally, these UAVs will also provide early warning against Midwestern forces, with NU Model Air Army jets scrambled with either strike or anti-air payloads depending on the type of resistance encountered by the UAVs. Lethal force has been authorized against Midwestern ground reinforcements attempting to cross into Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin.

Air Support On-Demand

The Argos netrocentric battlespace allows NU Model Air Army aircraft to provide close air support to ground and naval forces on-demand. While the UAVs have been ordered to perform combat air patrols, they can be diverted to provide CAS for Army and National Guard units. Likewise, multirole aircraft with strike packages such as the F-35A Block 9 and Eurofighter Typhoon Tranche 3B can be diverted to provide precision strikes on targets identified by Army, Northern Guard, and Special Forces units.

NU Model Air Army Totals (Bombing Campaign)

Count Unit Type Role
252 F/A-55 Peregrine Hypersonic Interceptor
144 F-37 Warhawk II TIP1 6th-gen Air Superiority
24 F-23 Black Widow 5th-gen Air Superiority
336 F-35A Lightning II Block 9 6th-gen Multirole (mix of air superiority loadouts and strike packages)
96 Eurofighter Typhoon Tranche 3B 4th-gen Multirole (strike packages)
8 AC-130H Spectre Close Air Support
500 UAT-6B Timber Wolf Strike UAV
40 KC-46 Pegasus Mid-Air Refueling
18 A/AEW-4 Lookout Airborne Early Warning and Control
40 EQ-4B Global Hawk Surveillance and Communications UAV
7 CC-130J Super Hercules Tactical Transport (for GATOR mine system)

Northern Union Special Forces

Seizing Michigan Airports

After the NU Model Army achieves air superiority, (see above), Northern Union Special Forces, consisting primarily of Canadian commando units operating out of UFB Borden, will take advantage of the ensuing chaos by taking and hold two critical airports. Coleman A. Young International Airport and Bishop International Airport have been selected for this operation, with orders to convert these locations into Northern Union forward operating bases for refueling and resupply of NU Model Air Army planes and NU Model Army forces.
Special Forces-operated RQ-4 Global Hawks will begin by deploying into forward reconnaissance positions deep within enemy territory. This will supplement information already gathered from the NU Model Air Army’s observation UAVs and RADARSAT, to ensure up-to-date information on enemy positions. The Global Hawks will also provide SIGINT interference for the next stage of the operation, with UAT-6 B Timber Wolf UAVs modified for electronic warfare performing SEAD and EW (using CHAMP missiles) against any Midwestern ground-based AAW installations/vehicles that have evaded destruction by NU Model Air Army planes. These UAV squadrons will provide a screen for special forces deployment via a mixture of Gyrfalcon paradrops and rapid MV-330 stealth rotorcraft to assist with capture and defence of the Detroit and Flint airports. With all special forces infantry equipped with Lorica Boreas powered exosuits, taking and holding these locations should not prove difficult. These units will constantly be resupplied by air, to prevent them from being overrun.
If further firepower is required, special forces vehicles and Powered Armor Infantry kits can leverage the Argos netrocentric battlespace as spotters, calling in fire support directly from artillery, multirole aircraft, UAVs, and even offshore vessels.

Relocating Air Defence Systems

Once both airports have been seized by special forces, rapid relocation of Northern Union MEADS batteries will occur. Two NU Model Air Army-operated MEADS batteries will be airdropped to each airport, for redeployment to undisclosed locations at the discretion of the Special Forces commanding officers on site. These four MEADS batteries will provide forward ground-based AAW defense against Midwestern aircraft, pushing the front line of the Northern Union’s air defence network forward into Michigan and allowing the NU Model Air Army to use them as forward operating locations and resupply points for combat aircraft.

Northern Union Special Forces Totals

Count Unit Type Role
5000 Commando Special Forces Infantryman (equipment listed below)
1000 SIR Platform Armed Auxiliary Robot
50 M1126 Stryker ICV Interim Armored Vehicle
50 Black Knight Unmanned Ground Combat Vehicle
100 AV-28 Neptune Armored High Mobility Vehicle
25 IMAL Self-Propelled Anti-Air
25 AH-58 Kiowa Brave Unmanned Attack Helicopter
50 LS-1 Hera Multirole Helicopter
50 MV-300 Eidolon Rapid Transport Tilt-rotor
15 V-75A Gyrfalcon Heavy Transport Tilt-Rotor
10 RQ-4 Global Hawk Surveillance UAV
100 UAT-6B Timber Wolf Strike UAV

NU Commando Equipment

Count Equipment Type
5000 Lorica Boreas Exoarmor High-mobility Powered Armor (winter kit optional)
5000 M18 Main Battle Rifle
5000 XM50 Grenadier High-explosive Sidearm
2000 M90 Advanced Gauss Mortar
1250 M77 Anti-Materiel Rifle
500 W/ATG-1 Gatilda Anti-Tank Missile System
1000 AT-4 Recoilless Anti-Tank Weapon

NU Model Air Army Totals (Relocating MEADS and Resupply)

Count Unit Type Role
4 MEADS Battery Mobile Anti-Aircraft Warfare Ground Support
10 CC-130J Super Hercules Tactical Transport
3 C-17 Globemaster III Strategic Airlift
5 C-5 Galaxy Strategic Airlift

NU Model Navy

Having received permission from the United States to temporarily disregard Rush-Bagot, littoral defence vessels of the NU Model Navy will provide additional anti-air defence and land strike capabilities from the Great Lakes. The Determination-class Stealth Frigate, with dimensions explictly designed to transit the St. Lawrence Seaway, serves as the ideal naval asset for this operation. Still retaining their disguised radar signatures of civilian fishing trawlers, twelve MARLANT-commanded Determination-class frigates will quietly deploy to the lakes around Michigan, reinforcing the anti-air umbrella against Midwestern air attacks. Recently-upgraded with the RailSCORPIO point defence system, the Determination-class boasts both anti-air guided railgun capabilities and limited shore bombardment within a radius of 229 kilometers round the vessel. With all ships in the Determination-class boasting an upgraded Paladin Air Defence System, half of the VLS cells aboard each frigate have been quad-packed with CF-designed XIM-187 Typicals, offering between 120-170 km of anti-air protection. The remaining cells have been outfitted with the APCM-B missiles for surface combat and land strike operations. Captains of these vessels have been ordered to dominate maritime activity on Lakes Michigan, Huron, and Erie, and will actively engage any Midwestern combat vessels in the area (including the four Midwestern Freedom-class vessels if they attempt to enter Lake Michigan via the Mississippi). The Frigates have also been ordered to intercept Midwestern Aircraft entering their zones of control and to perform coastal bombardment of Army Units attempting to reinforce Michigan. Cooperative Engagement Capability provides these vessels flawless integration with Argos, allowing them to provide on-demand fire support for ground forces and extend the range of their missiles over the horizon as directed by NU Model Air Army AEW&C aircraft.
As a side note: these vessels will, when traversing the lakes and not engaged in combat actions, map underwater terrain with hull-mounted sonar, towed arrays, and AUVs. The resulting sonar sweep will provide a comprehensive understanding of the lakebeds of the Great Lakes, for further exploitation in the future.
After air and maritime superiority have been achieved, civilian Great Lakes freighters from Northern Union bulk cargo carriers such as Algoma Central Marine will he used to expedite resupply and reinforcement across rivers and lakes, taking advantage of Great Lakes trade routes and ports.

NU Model Navy Totals

Count Vessel Type Role
12 Determination-class Littoral Defence Stealth Frigate (AAW and naval strike loadouts)
[M] To Be Continued. NU Model Army order of battle exceeded reddit character limit.
submitted by King_of_Anything to worldpowers [link] [comments]


2018.01.04 21:09 Neogodhobo The best 7 years (of Homelessness) of my life.

INTRO and CONTEXT
"Money do not fall from tree's" -My Step-Father.
My step father was a strict man. He did not take shit from people, and was not afraid of expressing his opinion. Wich lead to a lot of problems between me and him when I was a teenager.
My parents never minded me beating someone at school, if there was a good reason for it. My mother considered punishing me when she heard I have gotten into a fight at school, but when she learned that the fight originated because someone told me they would "fuck my mom", there was no punishment. She said to me that defending his family is always a good thing.
They laughed when they saw me arrive from elementary school at home, with a big container of potato chips. Upon learning that I had stole it from a delivery truck belonging to Lays. They said, big companies rip people off, its okay to rip them off once in a while as well.
Although when I started making cocktail Molotov at home, and accidentally lightning one in the house, this was the limit. Although at that point, everything had already gone to shit with me and my parents. It was not the cute little boy who defends his mom at school, it was the drugged teenager who makes cocktail molotov to throw.
My brother, who was raised by the same parents, grew up very fine. An upstanding young men who never did anything illegal apart from smoking weed that one year, became a rising star in his career, even appearing on television, and eventually created his own company and his on his way to become a millionaire. Or so he hopes anyway.
I grew up with my Father, Step-Father and Mother. My brother grew up with his Father and Mother. I stopped seeing my Father around the age of 8 when he abandoned me. That of course, not before he kidnapped me a year earlier and I had to be rescued by 10 police car surrounded the house he was hiding me in, with my mother speaking trough the police car's loudspeakers.
This was my youth in a nutshell. And to make it easy on the story, from now on, when I speak about my father, it means I am speaking about my Step Father. So lets forget all about my biological father.
My father once told me : "Money do not fall from tree's", but, boy oh boy, was I ever going to show him wrong. It all started with the fact that one day I got out of bed, and had the weird idea that I was going to die at 21 yrs old.
I was listening to The Doors at that point, and Black Sabbath and everything in between those two. And while listening to The Doors, it opened the the doors of perception to me. It introduced this idea that we are all going to die one day, sooner than later. I had battled with, what I call light depression for a number of time now and I remember listening to Rolling Stone's Paint It black and Black Sabbath's Iron man for about a month or two. Just those two, nothing else. It was a confused time and that was around my 14 yrs of age...This is how it all started...
CHAPTER 1 Road to homelessness.
I develop the idea that I was going to die young, at around 21 yrs old. I dont remember how I came to this idea but this was it. I was obsessed by this idea. And so, I started living like it was going to happen. All rules were off.
I had a lot of problem at school and never successfully made it past elementary 5th grade. But I was still in high school, in some special class for troubled student ( I was the class clown since elementary's 3rd grade, funny enough, exactly when my biological father abandoned me ). This is when I started to smoke marijuana, pressured by my peers. They also tried to pressure me to smoke cigarettes but I was not into it at all. Marijuana tasted good, cigarettes taste like shit.
Marijuana gave another meaning to The Doors. I figured, if I was going to die at 21 yrs old, might as well try ALL the drugs I could get my hands on. So I started with the weakest drugs, to the strongest. It was not long until I started doing Heroin and PCP on a daily basis ( at 16-17 yrs old ). At that point I had long left school and was working on my Carpentry diploma in adult school.
I easily pass the class while being high all the time because I had work in Carpentry with my father since I was about 8 yrs old or so. At first, just giving tools, of course. Going to adult school was just a way of having an official document that says I could do carpentry. Most of the time in class, I would get high, and let my class mates operates dangerous tools for me since I would have probably killed myself or someone, handling those while high on PCP.
At 17 yrs old, I had met this girl from my carpentry school, She was a punk rocker girl. I have never met someone like her before. I didnt know Punk was a thing. Boy did she show me everything that went with it though and I LOVED IT.
It opened my eye, for the first time in my life, I saw an escape to my depression. She showed me the big city, Montreal. She showed me that it was possible to travel without a car, hitchhiking. The first time, we went to Ottawa. I got my ass kicked by some dudes who wanted to steal my stuff, at least I defended myself and tried to stop them. I later found all my stuff in the garbage by some miracle, it was hilarious ( it was a gas mask that they stole, why did I have a gas mask with me, I just collected all sort of World War II stuff back then, I still do actually today. I was always fascinated by World War II and ended up reading for over 20 years about the Eastern Front )
I went on a bit like that with my girl friend for a while, we were doing PCP and Heroin together, started watching all of George Romero's movies and other classic horror types such as The Evil Dead, for example. Came the day where I graduated from Carpentry School ( I think I was 16 ? ) and started working a 9 to 5 factory job, at 17 yrs old. I was always high on Speed and was listening to the Beastie Boys a lot.
I was extremely miserable though, and living with my parents was pure hell. I mean, I dont blame them, I started doing Cocktail Molotov at home, and I would throw them on random buildings ( brick and metal building, mind you, I didnt want to burn anything down, but I wanted to see the bottle explode and the fire going everywhere ) . So I decided to just, up and leave. I knew that it was possible to travel by hitchhiking, and I knew that living outside was something that was doable. I have seen lots of my girl friend's friends do it. Therefore, I was going to do it as well.
I bought a bus ticket from Montreal to Vancouver. And warned my parents 2 days before leaving, that I was going to leave and live my life.. My father gave me a bottle of Tequila ( I think ) that dated from the 1800s and two days later, I was on my way. I dont think he should have gave me this bottle at the age and state I was but whatever. If he would have given me that today, I would still had it and preserve it. On arrival at the bus station in Vancouver, I drank it all in one night.
Chapter 2 The junkie years
When I left home, I was already a heroin junkie. I had to shoot up at least three times a day in order to not get sick and to have a buzz. The bus ride itself was a story to be told, in all honesty, I could probably write a whole book about it, but I wont here, Im trying to keep this text short.
I came in at the station, got out, and started walking in a random direction. I was out of Heroin ( I brought with me about a gram or two of Heroin for the 3 days and 3 night bus ride, but I had done it all the first 2 days ) I had to learn to speak English, because I spoke French. It took me a good two weeks to be able to properly talk to people.
I walked around and I was looking for the punks. Where did the punks hang out in Vancouver. I kept walking, it was on Broadway street, until eventually I saw a guy coming out of a garbage bin. It was a small city garbage bin that you see on every corner or so. He just, kind of poke his head out of the garbage slowly... I stopped myself and figured Id ask him where the Punks hangs out. He told me to go to "The Stairs" ( Robson Square) . So I went there, and this was the place where I would hang out a lot in Vancouver each time I visit, but the very first year, I didnt hang out there long. It was a nice place, but it was place for beer drinking people, mostly. I eventually met some junkie girl, cant remember her name but she was real nice. I started hanging out with her and her boyfriend and their friends. We went some place else in Vancouver, I cant remember where exactly it was, but I know it was close to East Hasting. All we did was squeegee money for Heroin. I remember seeing in the windows of the drop in centers "Warning, HOT HEROIN". This meant that the heroin was extremely potent and so, dangerous.
The drug was cheap as hell, compared to Quebec. And way more powerful. I became a huge junkie. I met my girlfriend in Vancouver that year. She was not a drug addict but she was a runaway and had lie about her age and past. She told me she was homeless and living in the street. So anyway, we stayed in Vancouver for about 2 years. At first we were not together, and so I only saw her once in a while. I remember my first winter in Vancouver consisted of sleeping on the side of an underground parking lot, We were sleeping in the entrance, that was still outside. It was kind of scary in retrospect, but we never got ran over. It was raining all the time. The first thing in the morning we would shoot up, so to not be sick. Then we would get up, go squeegee, under the rain ( as useless as it is ), make money for more heroin, then we would go and shoot up, to start feeling normal, and go squeegee some more. We would make everything we needed for the night and for the morning there. Then we would go shoot up, sleep, and repeat.
Did that for about a year or so. When I started going out with the girl I had met that first year, things started to change. We eventually decided we wanted to stop doing drugs. ( She was not so much of a junkie than me, but she did like her cocaine, a bit too much, she was shooting up heroin but not nearly as much as me ).
We tried to go to detox centers and it didnt work, so we decided we would hit the highway, cant find drugs in the middle of nowhere when you know nobody. So we did.
CHAPTER 3 On the road again
We left Vancouver in the early morning, got a ride from a person working in a drop-in center and there we were. Here we were, on the road again, Like a band of Gypsies, we went down the highway We were the best of friends, Insisting that the world would turn our way... We lived many adventures, we met many people, good and bad, and eventually made our own to Montreal. We were not completely off drugs. It was hard, very hard but we kept our head high and went ahead. In Montreal we met this girl, who had a boyfriend. That boyfriend had two rottweilers and one of them was pregnant. We stayed in Montreal a few days, and the boyfriend, lets call him, Robert, wanted to leave to Saskatoon to deliver the babies of his dog. He was from Saskatoon and thats the reason why. So I went and said Hi to my parents in my hometown, and then we left. The girlfriend of Robert, lets call her, Valerie, convinced him to leave me one of the dog, so that we could travel faster and easier, and try to get to destination before she gets her puppies. I never understood why to this day, but he gave me the pregnant one, Valerie said she could trust me ( even though, we had only met ).
So we left again, to Saskatoon. This time with a dog. Robert told me that he would give me the pup of my choice if I bring her to Saskatoon. Said he would find me and kill me if I never brought the dog back to him. So my girlfriend and I left, and made our way to Saskatoon. On our way there, she told me she wanted to leave to go see her sister's graduation. We got into an argument and she left alone. At that point, we were in Wawa, Ontario. Not the best place to hitchhike, if we are to believe the myth surrounding it. But she got picked up easily, and so did I.
I made my way to Winnipeg, Manitoba before the dog got her puppies. I was high on mushroom that night and I thought someone had given her mushroom because she was shaking. Some guy, who, amazingly enough, was the best friend of Robert, told me she were going to have her puppies and ask me if the dog was mine ( he kind of recognize her ) I said it was to Robert, and he told me his story. I figured he would help me out, since it was his friend's dog, but no. He told me how to take care of the dog and what to do, and then, word for word " This is going to be a very long night, for you" and he left.
The dog I kept, Tango, was born on my right lap. He was the first to pop out, and I was moving her rear end to a clean blanket when it happened, therefore he fell on my lap. I decided to keep that one. Tango was born at the Bell towers in the Osborne Village of Winnipeg. There was 5 puppies in total, only 1 female. It was a shit show, we didnt know how to take care of puppies. I could write a book about this event as well but lets keep things short. At night we stole a shopping cart, put the puppies in it, and rode to the nearby forest near the bridge connecting Osborne Village with Downtown. Robert arrived a day later during the night, and we stayed in the forest for 3 weeks. The police came a few time to move us around, but we always were successful in hiding the puppies. The third time though, they saw them, and told us we could either leave, or they would take the puppies.
So unfortunately, we didn't have time to find people to take the puppies and we began just giving them out to anybody who wanted them. I took one, (Tango) . My friend took another one ( Siren ), Then we gave the 3 others to some punks from Ottawa and a girl from, I dont know where. We knew them a bit, but not that much, it was a pretty chaotic night.
Robert was a train hopper. So he taught us how to hop freight trains that night. Tango and I, on our first freight train, I was 19-20 yrs old, and Tango was 3 weeks old. We traveled together for about 2-4 years. Tango, his mother Kylee, his "aunt" Godzilla ( Robert's second dog ), and his brother Siren all traveled Canada together. Siren's owner eventually made her own way and I sticked around with Robert. When I got my dog, I was still doing Heroin, and having him was the final push that helped me quit heavy drugs altogether. I kept smoking weed but thats about it.
There is a lot of stories that happened during those years but for the sake of keeping it short. I wont tell them.
Chapter 4 The end of the Beginning
Drug free, Depression free, I had such a great time being homeless. Oh sure, there was the occasional scary moments, I almost died about 3 times that I can remember of. I almost got stuck in the middle of Northern Ontario in the forest with nothing to drink, I had sex with a girl inside the engine of the Freight Train, Im not talking about the conductor's cabin, Im talking about the actual engine. Almost died in there too. I got into a huge numbers of fight, witch I almost all won, making me think I should have became a professional boxer, haha. We were traveling from one side of the country, to the other, constantly, every summer. in the winter we would sleep outside at -30 degree celcious sometime, until we could get together and find an apartment. We sometime were 15 people in a 4 1/4, and we almost all had dogs. There were days where I was stuck on the road during a rain storm, there was days, were we would sell our excrement to some weirdo for money, there were days where we would create an apartment in the entrance of a public bathroom ( in a Toronto park ) and got eviction notice from the cops. The eviction noticed said we had two weeks to leave, so we started building even more in those two weeks, because, legally, they couldnt kick us out before the two week was over, haha. Oh we had a blast on that one. We had a bathroom ( that didnt work ) a t.v ( that didnt work ) we had huge wall panel that we stole from a nearby construction site.
And thats one of the thing I loved the most from being homeless. Building cities and rooms outside. Under a bridge in Toronto, I built such a big camp, we had fake trees, pieces of fences, a fireplace, table and chairs, it looked like shit yes, but to us, it was awesome, we had the impression of having our own little home, the backy yard was amazing because it was just forest. The cops couldnt come down unless they came by horses or by foot, and they would sometime come down with their horses ( to the horror of our dogs ). They even woke us up with shotguns in our faces one day because they were looking for someone. This one time we had a punk girl who inherited some land from her father so we all went and live there, built a two story houses, acquired 2 horses, 4 chicken, 2 pigs, we were farming and clearing wood. It was great.
Well, like I said, I could go on and on, but that was basically my life for several years. That was how I became to be, how my life was. During this whole time, I was pretty dirty, I was what they call a crust punk. I never showered, my style of clothing was military, always with military jackets, shorts/pants, I always carried a Vietnam helmet with me ( that was extremely good for cooking and hitting people who attacked me on the head with ). I had my Nazi Bayonet that I used to open cans all the time, I didn't use that as a weapon, ever. I was just so very very, dirty. And I loved it.
Of course, the first time I ate from Garbage, I grossed myself out so bad, I was a germophobe before living in the street, so you can imagine. Of course I needed to survive so I did what I had to do. I always found it so easy to live in the street. Food was available EVERYWHERE. We live in Canada, a first world country, and food was just so easy to get. drop in centers, late night visit at the bakery shop, rummaging trough the garbage ( before it became popular .. ). Clothing was also available everywhere. Socks and mittens was given by random people, underwear and other clothing was available in drop in centers, or even, in those bins that people give clothes for the salvation army or whatever, we would steal clothe from there.
We never really used shelters, but it did happen some times. I tried a few time to get out of homelessness. One that comes to mind is with the "Maison du Coeur" in Montreal who offers free housing, in exchange of 9 to 5 work. I couldnt handle working like a slave so I eventually left ( it was in a call center ).
Chapter 5 The beginning of the end
When I was 24 yrs old, I had an apartment but was still living the welfare life. Squeegeeing, collecting welfare, drinking, and just being a fucker all around. I decided to go to Winnipeg to sell some PCP. That was my big plan. I didnt make it further than Toronto. At the time, I had acquired another dog, pretty much the same way I did the first one, trough a friend. And I got angry with a traveling partner. I decided to go squeegee some cars and I saw a BMW. I usually dont touch expensive cars because the people in it are usually freako's and self centered, but I did anyway and got into a confrontation. The name of the driver was Robert Townsend. If you want to see his story ( the one the media took ) you can go there, but keep in mind that this version is far from the truth, and that it was proven false in court : http://nationalpost.com/posted-toronto/squeegee-kid-beat-driver-police-say
I went to jail, and then Prison, since I had no fixed address. In jail, I stayed for about a week, and on the wall, under my name, was my charge: Attempted Murder. Thats when I realize my life was over, it hit me so hard, I couldn't believe it. I stayed in Prison for about 2 weeks before I received a letter from the pound, saying they would kill my dog in about a week or so. I cried. I was in Prison, and I cried and everyone saw me. It didn't matter. At first, I told myself I wouldn't cry, and then I said to myself " Il be damned if I dont shed tears for my dogs" and I cried. Surprisingly enough, people understood in Prison and no one said a word.
At that point, I was calling my parents about once per month or two. Because my mom told me she wanted me to call to say I was still alive, and I respected her demand throughout the whole 7 years or so that I was out there. I really didnt want to call my parents to get me out of a bad situation but this time, it was the person I had swear to take care of that was in danger. So I called her, and said they were going to kill my dogs and asked her to get my dogs. She said she wouldnt go for my dogs, but she would go for me, and at the same time, take my dogs. I accepted. I knew, living with my parents was worst than Prison. but I had to take my dogs.
In prison, I was housed with two other person, we already had planned to take over the leadership of the gang that had control of our wing. We were making weapon, I got into a fight with one of the guy. I knew I was getting out soon, but I couldn't tell people, so I acted as if I was there until my court date. I was the guy who kept watch for the guard while my cellmate created a weapon out of his bed sheet ( strangulation ). I had won protection from them by giving them drugs. As soon as I entered Prison, I told the guards I was an alcoholic and started shaking and emulating an alcoholic in need. ( I had lots of experience at that, thanks to my alcoholic friends ).
So I was given drugs. They didnt do anything to people who didnt need them, really. But drugs are drugs, and in prison, thats money. So I kept the drug in my mouth, passed the mouth inspection, and then went to my cell, gave the drugs to my cellmate, and in order they left me alone. After a week though, I didnt have to do that because I had already got into a fight with the rival gang and had proven myself to be a capable fighter. I suspect, if I were to had stay in prison, I would have probably killed someone. I dont like violence, but Im the type of person who does anything to stay alive. I wont snitch on friends, but I will give someone a serious beat down if it means I wont become a bitch. That is only valid in Prison though, because outside of Prison, I dont give a shit what people think of me, it dont affect me at all. In Prison, what people think of you will affect you severely.
Anyway so I went to my parents place, and as I had suspected, it was hell. I was living outside of their home, in the back yard for about 2 years before the court took a decision. Witness said the driver attacked me first, wich was true. and so I was let out, BUT, since I went too far in my defense, they still gave me a criminal file, and I had to see a probation officer for 2 years, every 2 weeks and keep a job.
That is when I decided that I would go by their rule. For 2 years at least....
CONCLUSION Girls are made of sugar and spice
I decided to move to my hometown, contacted an old friend of mine and I moved in with her. I started to apply to every job available that was at walking distance. I had a dread hawk at that point, full of paint ( I used acrylic paint to dye my hair since it was cheaper ) My dread hawk was not a fashion sign, I had a mohawk since I was 17, but I was just so dirty, and I put so much acrylic paint in them, that it just became such a mess, I even had bugs living in there, and thats not an overstatement, believe me. So anyway I sported this haircut, I had grey sweatpants full of holes, and my military jacket ( I had two jacket during my time in the street, one that I lost after 2 years, and the other that I still have today ) People looked at me weird, especially, I was in a small suburb town of Montreal.
But eventually, I made it to a bakery, there was this girl, a beautiful girl woman. She laughed a bit when she saw I came here to apply for a job, and asked me if I had any experience. I replied that I didnt, but that I was willing to learn. She refused my application, and then asked me if I was the new roommate of her friend. Turns out, she was friend with my old friend I was living at, so I said yes. And Im telling you, this woman, was so beautiful, I couldnt pass beside this occasion, I ask her if she liked drinking, and, of course she did, and we went out. I dated her for the 2 years of my probation.
My plan all along as to go back to live in the street, I had work for 2 years now ( in various job, but mainly, a call center ) and it was hell, to work. I felt like a slave, I started being sick ; having lots of headache, and feeling stress, having to answer to someone, all these things that makes life miserable. I started being a little bit depressive again. I was 27 yrs old ( or so, I could get the date wrong in my text but my memory is not the best )
I was very excited to go back to live in the street but that meant, abandoning my girlfriend. Wich, I had fallen in love with, deeply in love. She was a University graduate, came from an outstanding family, she learned to play the piano and dance Ballet at a very young age. You see the type. But nonetheless she liked me, and I liked her. I decided to stay for her. To live the normal life, the life that makes me sick, that makes me depressive, that makes me want to scream.
After 5 years of working ( so, 3 years after I decided to stay for her ), I finally had my big break. At that point I was working in factory, that made me sick ( to this day ). I was a machine operator and supervisor of a whole chain of production. They wanted to pay me 10$/h doing that at first, at the interview, but I told them I knew my worth and wouldnt work under 15$/h. So I left, they called me 5 minutes after, and told me they would hire me for 14$/h. I accepted. But that job was the worst. We would crush beer bottles, and any kind of bottles, to transform it into dust, and then sell it to the U.S. I still cough to this day every 10 minutes or so.
I left this job, for another shitty job after 6 months. The people who I made friend with working there, all whined that it was a shitty job, they wanted to leave, but they never did. They are still there to this day ( few years later ). I personally never stopped looking for better. In 2016, I was watching the news when I fell on the 2016 Fort McMurray Wildfire, and discovered that there was this career, where one would be watching for Wildfires. Then I learned of this video game called Firewatch. These two events made me very interested in that career.
I applied for the 2017 season. I did more than apply actually, I harassed them, I phoned, I faxed, I emailed, constantly. There is about 400 applicants or so per year, and about 15 openings per year, so I really didn't want to miss my chance. I completed all the paperwork they wanted, the visit to the doctor, the first aid course, the certification for Radio. Eventually I got a phone call. I went trough an interview on the phone, then a second. And then I received a letter saying I was picked, out of 400 people, to do the job.
The fact that I was homeless was a big factor in why I was taken. They wanted someone who can be alone, who can survive alone, who can do everything alone. Who can use quick thinking, and who doesn't need to be pampered. That was me. They wanted someone who could listen to the rules, and my 5 years of working and leading up to become a chain of production supervisor helped me out there.
I became a Fire Lookout Observer for the Government of Alberta. I spent the whole summer 2017 in the nature, with my two dogs, collecting rain water, working on my garden, practicing archery, observing the stars at night, and reporting wildfires. The next season is starting in 3 months and this time, I am bringing my wife with me so she can have a 6 months vacation, and I can have her around me instead of being alone for 6 months.
This is my story so far. Tango is 10 years old, Flamenco is 7 years old. I am 30 yrs old and I turned my life completely around.
I want to thanks Robert Townsend from Toronto, for attacking me that day because otherwise, I might still be in the street today. I want to thanks my lovely wife, for being with me, because otherwise, I might have gone back into the street. I want to thanks my dogs, especially Tango, who help me quit drugs, and help me in the rough moments. I want to thank myself, as well, for never abandoning, for always going further than I thought I could.
This is my story and this morning, I felt like writing it here. Maybe give some hope to people who are homeless right now. Maybe give some hindsight into the life of homeless people for others. Any question, I will answer here, and I will also post pictures of those 7 years below.
And here is a bunch of pictures that goes with the story I wrote here and with a short description on each. (Link broken)
submitted by Neogodhobo to homeless [link] [comments]


2017.12.15 23:15 subreddit_stats Subreddit Stats: CanadaPolitics posts from 2017-11-17 to 2017-12-14 21:55 PDT

Period: 26.92 days
Submissions Comments
Total 941 21286
Rate (per day) 34.95 762.33
Unique Redditors 266 2329
Combined Score 32739 150061

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

  1. 3428 points, 60 submissions: _Minor_Annoyance
    1. Poll suggests majority of Canadians backs outright ban on guns in urban areas (395 points, 1213 comments)
    2. Ottawa to build 100,000 new affordable units, recognize housing as 'fundamental right ' (345 points, 113 comments)
    3. Justin Trudeau Is ‘Very Concerned’ With FCC’s Plan to Roll Back Net Neutrality (294 points, 79 comments)
    4. Harper Government Identified ‘Mental Health Issues’ as a Root Cause of Terrorism, Secret Documents Show (265 points, 100 comments)
    5. Conservatives accused of free speech double standard after Catholic university blocks abortion film (216 points, 143 comments)
    6. Federal government proposes changes designed to drop cost of patented drugs (173 points, 40 comments)
    7. Andrew Coyne: Tories can stop blowing smoke because there’s nothing suspicious about Morneau share selloff (144 points, 100 comments)
    8. Trudeau government wants to 'demystify' G7 summit by involving Canadians (132 points, 37 comments)
    9. Canadian workforce is more educated and sitting in traffic longer than ever before: 2016 census (104 points, 15 comments)
    10. Conservative party leadership advisor helped create anti-Islam organization (90 points, 54 comments)
  2. 1991 points, 109 submissions: idspispopd
    1. Video of starving polar bear in Canada's Arctic re-ignites conversations about climate change (209 points, 131 comments)
    2. Proportional Representation Will Provide Balance, Not Extremism (199 points, 145 comments)
    3. Manitoba gets failing grade for 'nightmare' rates of child poverty (124 points, 25 comments)
    4. N.W.T. residents can now choose 'X' as gender on IDs (87 points, 36 comments)
    5. Nunavut creates country food safety guidelines to boost traditional menus across territory (87 points, 40 comments)
    6. 'We want Nunavut to shine:' Territory's new premier looks to the future (82 points, 5 comments)
    7. B.C.’s upcoming referendum on electoral reform will stand, Attorney-General says (82 points, 50 comments)
    8. Jagmeet Singh takes shot at Jason Kenney in swing through Alberta (62 points, 28 comments)
    9. Uniformed police won’t be allowed to march in Vancouver’s Pride Parade (56 points, 85 comments)
    10. Thawing permafrost causes $51M in damages every year to N.W.T. public infrastructure: study (48 points, 4 comments)
  3. 1548 points, 14 submissions: steadly
    1. This Conservative Politician Said Weed Is Just As Deadly as Fentanyl (492 points, 176 comments)
    2. Prime Minister announces nomination of the Honourable Sheilah L. Martin to the Supreme Court of Canada (283 points, 146 comments)
    3. Liberals 41, Conservatives 30, NDP 18, Green 7 : Nanos (147 points, 79 comments)
    4. Bill Morneau says Ottawa has no plans for a Netflix tax (132 points, 46 comments)
    5. Prime Minister names the Honourable Richard Wagner as new Chief Justice of Canada (113 points, 48 comments)
    6. Singh launched NDP byelection campaign in wrong Scarborough riding (113 points, 75 comments)
    7. Trudeau government sets new record for vacant appointments (62 points, 23 comments)
    8. Prime Minister announces the appointment of two new Senators (53 points, 42 comments)
    9. Cabinet ministers don't resign nowadays, they just linger and then get shuffled (39 points, 1 comment)
    10. $100 million for gay purge victims as PM apologizes for LGBTQ discrimination (33 points, 6 comments)
  4. 1235 points, 19 submissions: MethoxyEthane
    1. Federal marijuana legislation passed third reading in the House of Commons, headed for the Senate (215 points, 96 comments)
    2. Trudeau says Canadians need a 'mindset change' to tackle sexual assault (191 points, 85 comments)
    3. PEI Green Party win their second seat in the Charlottetown-Parkdale provincial by-election (109 points, 28 comments)
    4. Ontario PC leader Patrick Brown releases full platform 6 months ahead of provincial campaign (104 points, 137 comments)
    5. Speaker kicks Tory MP Blake Richards out of Question Period (95 points, 31 comments)
    6. Premier Kathleen Wynne sues opposition leader Patrick Brown for defamation (90 points, 56 comments)
    7. Trudeau set to name new judge to Supreme Court of Canada on Wednesday morning (87 points, 31 comments)
    8. Kathleen Wynne calls $12B in savings in PC platform ‘ridiculous’ (83 points, 68 comments)
    9. Liberal government backs bill that demands full implementation of UN Indigenous rights declaration (55 points, 41 comments)
    10. December 11 By-Election Discussion Thread (49 points, 322 comments)
  5. 1094 points, 5 submissions: StrudleNudle
    1. Comparing marijuana to fentanyl is social conservatism without a clue: Opinion (723 points, 115 comments)
    2. Liberals rebound in polls, Nanos says women giving Grits lead over Conservatives - The Hill Times (161 points, 185 comments)
    3. Liberals 40, Conservatives 31, NDP 17, Green 7: Nanos (112 points, 116 comments)
    4. 'Charterpedia' launched by the DOJ today. Summarizes every Charter right and it's completely noted up. (87 points, 21 comments)
    5. Tory pit bull Poilievre looks for ‘vulnerability’ in attacks on Morneau (11 points, 13 comments)
  6. 894 points, 34 submissions: uadoption
    1. Conservative comparison of pot to fentanyl 'irresponsible': Health minister (223 points, 29 comments)
    2. Canada vows to aggressively defend lumber sector after duties confirmed by U.S. (207 points, 43 comments)
    3. ‘Keep our great country safe from all the weed,’ Conservative critic pleads in Parliament poem (115 points, 107 comments)
    4. Driverless trucks are coming to Canada and the impact will be profound (108 points, 172 comments)
    5. The secret of happiness for Quebec anglos (26 points, 83 comments)
    6. Making the link between animal and human abuse (23 points, 9 comments)
    7. Bell's 'Let's Talk' campaign rings hollow for employees suffering panic attacks, vomiting and anxiety (16 points, 7 comments)
    8. Watch China's efforts to influence as Canada pursues trade, says former envoy (15 points, 0 comments)
    9. Nearly half of illegal border-crossers into Canada are from Haiti (14 points, 7 comments)
    10. Refugee system isn't for those seeking better economic life: Trudeau (14 points, 2 comments)
  7. 891 points, 30 submissions: OrzBlueFog
    1. Maxime Bernier reiterates opposition to Net Neutrality (352 points, 173 comments)
    2. Unionized Halifax Shipyard workers vote 99% in favour of strike mandate [NS] (204 points, 55 comments)
    3. Nova Scotia announces pot will be sold through NSLC and online [NS] (72 points, 13 comments)
    4. Feds willing to give more pot tax revenue to provinces to help municipalities (60 points, 15 comments)
    5. Live at a tony address? Postal Code Project puts Canada's richest neighbourhoods in taxman's crosshairs (26 points, 12 comments)
    6. [Meta] Comment sort order - controversial? (26 points, 29 comments)
    7. Child Advocate wins battle for mandatory reporting of deaths, critical injuries [NL] (15 points, 0 comments)
    8. Nova Scotia community hopes rocket launch site will revitalize economy [NS] (13 points, 5 comments)
    9. NDP executives resign in protest over party leader Gary Burrill [NS] (12 points, 2 comments)
    10. Former Dion human rights aide pans Ottawa arms-control plans (11 points, 1 comment)
  8. 765 points, 1 submission: GumboBenoit
    1. As US prepares to gut net neutrality rules, Canada strengthens them (765 points, 112 comments)
  9. 716 points, 5 submissions: BattlestarBattaglia
    1. Inside Bell's Push To End Net Neutrality In Canada (479 points, 91 comments)
    2. Fraud investigation casts cloud over Ontario PCs’ platform launch (78 points, 23 comments)
    3. Patrick Brown’s fiscally risky, economically dubious plan for Ontario (66 points, 49 comments)
    4. Wynne says PC leader Patrick Brown’s hope of finding painless cuts is ‘nonsense’ (47 points, 33 comments)
    5. Police sift through ballot boxes in Hamilton PC nomination investigation (46 points, 4 comments)
  10. 710 points, 31 submissions: scottb84
    1. As Canadians consume ‘harmful’ levels of sodium, officials urge chefs to limit salt but face resistance (157 points, 109 comments)
    2. University of Toronto contract academic staff vote 91% in favour of strike mandate (82 points, 9 comments)
    3. The Deadly Racism of Thunder Bay: A series of stalled police investigations reveals a city that’s indifferent to Indigenous lives (73 points, 52 comments)
    4. No, postmodernism at universities isn'€™t a vile, cancerous doctrine (64 points, 88 comments)
    5. Toss of the Bitcoin: Canadians have poured millions into blockchain, but many don’t know what they’re buying (51 points, 33 comments)
    6. Andrew Scheer’s dad jeans and awkward hellos are painstakingly deliberate (43 points, 64 comments)
    7. The Misguided Fight Against Sex-Ed Reform: Alberta’s proposed curriculum has been met with the same tired controversy—and it isn’t making kids any safer (36 points, 3 comments)
    8. Toronto rental vacancy rates lowest in 16 years (32 points, 3 comments)
    9. Booze, drugs involved in 73 oilsands safety incidents since 2013, Suncor says (20 points, 7 comments)
    10. Buzzkillers: A brief history of the LCBO (17 points, 0 comments)
  11. 707 points, 30 submissions: kingbuns2
    1. Map showing Post-Secondary Degrees of Canadian MPs Created by CanadianHistorian (152 points, 78 comments)
    2. Inuit want free travel over international waters between Canada, Greenland (104 points, 18 comments)
    3. On the Rails: A Case for Renewed Leftist Infatuation with Transport (80 points, 44 comments)
    4. Trudeau says housing is a human right — what does that mean exactly? UN says such a recognition does not mean the government has to build all of the nation's housing stock (68 points, 29 comments)
    5. Poll reveals Canadians' view of residential schools (36 points, 41 comments)
    6. Cashing In On Trump’s War on Universities: Republicans are gutting U.S. education; Canada — with boldness — can reap the benefits (30 points, 2 comments)
    7. Activists say Ottawa should deliver housing funds over two years, instead of 11 (29 points, 3 comments)
    8. African aid can’t keep up with stolen wealth (23 points, 4 comments)
    9. B.C. needs a brisk boost to $15/hr minimum wage: No reason for province to take a slower road than Ontario or Alberta (23 points, 20 comments)
    10. Postmedia, Torstar Marching Toward Media Monopolies: Journalism suffers as corporations swap papers to end competition (18 points, 1 comment)
  12. 695 points, 3 submissions: floatingpaper
    1. Canada will not move embassy to Jerusalem, federal government says (378 points, 236 comments)
    2. Ontario passes Cannabis Act, will take effect July 1, 2018 Toronto Star (273 points, 166 comments)
    3. I highly recommend the show Political Blind Date by TVO. (44 points, 7 comments)
  13. 583 points, 3 submissions: Savage_N0ble
    1. Canadians want Ottawa to ban use of tax havens, poll finds Toronto Star (478 points, 125 comments)
    2. Ottawa pressed on new registry to flush out mystery corporations (66 points, 26 comments)
    3. When it comes to harassment in politics, powerful people are writing rules for themselves: Neil Macdonald - CBC News (39 points, 13 comments)
  14. 554 points, 8 submissions: ThornyPlebeian
    1. Canada Jobless Rate Falls to Lowest in a Decade on Hiring Surge (228 points, 93 comments)
    2. Liberal Gordie Hogg defeats former Tory cabinet minister in South Surrey-White Rock (179 points, 94 comments)
    3. Trudeau to offer formal apology for LGBTQ persecution (70 points, 76 comments)
    4. Liberal MP accuses Conservative James Bezan of ‘humiliating’ sexual comments (48 points, 56 comments)
    5. Feds table bill to expunge 'unjust' convictions of LGBTQ Canadians (16 points, 16 comments)
    6. New fighter-jet competition to have 'economic interest' requirement (10 points, 8 comments)
    7. PM Trudeau strayed too far from historic wrongs in LGBTQ apology: Tory MPs (2 points, 0 comments)
    8. Canadian Surface Combatant team, led by Lockheed Martin Canada, unveiled (1 point, 5 comments)
  15. 539 points, 21 submissions: CytheYounger
    1. Canadian hate crimes growing and more violent for third straight year (302 points, 300 comments)
    2. Big Oil abandoning Canada’s oilsands in quest for cleaner crude (48 points, 39 comments)
    3. Washington Governor Touts Vancouver-Portland High-Speed Rail (44 points, 8 comments)
    4. Alberta's Rachel Notley urges Trudeau to speak up for pipelines (43 points, 77 comments)
    5. Despite What Politicians Say, Hundreds of BC Gas Wells Leak Methane (30 points, 8 comments)
    6. How will Canada manage its wildfires in the future? (13 points, 2 comments)
    7. Firestorm: Fort McMurray wildfire is a warning, book claims (9 points, 5 comments)
    8. New UBC-led report finds alternatives to Site C creates significantly more jobs, produce electricity at a lower cost with lower risks, have a significantly lower environmental impact, and produce less greenhouse gas emissions. (8 points, 5 comments)
    9. Behind the Mask of the ‘Moderates’ (7 points, 32 comments)
    10. B.C. oil spill response times make Trans Mountain Pipeline 'a ticking time bomb' (6 points, 8 comments)
  16. 451 points, 13 submissions: gwaksl
    1. Andrew Scheer's Everyman image won't be enough to beat Justin Trudeau - Macleans.ca (104 points, 142 comments)
    2. Federal Poll Average: LPC 38.64, CPC 31.43, NDP 16.76, GPC 6.81, BQ 4.73 (61 points, 59 comments)
    3. Liberals 39, Conservatives 31, NDP 17, Green 7: Nanos (59 points, 37 comments)
    4. Andrew Scheer weighs in on Catholic university that banned abortion film Globalnews.ca (49 points, 54 comments)
    5. Liberals reject warship proposal that companies said would save taxpayers as much as $32B (49 points, 26 comments)
    6. COMMENTARY: The NDP had better get their act together (for the Tories’ sake!) - National Globalnews.ca (30 points, 56 comments)
    7. Canada’s global prosperity ranking slips to lowest level in 11 years, but we still beat the U.S. Financial Post (30 points, 16 comments)
    8. The 'free the beer' court case shows Canada isn't a true economic union (30 points, 25 comments)
    9. Weighted Poll Averages Post Singh (25 points, 10 comments)
    10. John Ivison: New private member’s bill could mean end of the Happy Meal in Canada (6 points, 3 comments)
  17. 444 points, 15 submissions: sluttytinkerbells
    1. Globe editorial: Taking the ‘hi’ out of ‘bonjour-hi’ won’t save the French language (88 points, 106 comments)
    2. Legal marijuana deadline may be up in smoke as Tory senators stall bills (73 points, 48 comments)
    3. Employer who stole nearly $3M in wages from 157 workers fined $500 (54 points, 16 comments)
    4. Migrant workers’ group slams NDP’s Singh for online posts on farm visit (49 points, 20 comments)
    5. Canada should fight for open internet, says former head of FCC - Politics (47 points, 13 comments)
    6. 2 more Winnipeg police officers charged with impaired driving (46 points, 5 comments)
    7. Alberta man convicted of criminal harassment following Creep Catcher incident (29 points, 4 comments)
    8. North Korean defectors in Toronto worried they may be deported: ‘They treat us like garbage’ (19 points, 10 comments)
    9. Immigrant French lesson program a failure: auditor general (15 points, 4 comments)
    10. Hydro One’s prepaid meter proposal sparks criticism Toronto Star (7 points, 3 comments)
  18. 434 points, 2 submissions: NeutralEvilCarebear
    1. ‘He said, No, no, no’: Trump tells crowd about trade disagreement with Trudeau (264 points, 102 comments)
    2. Here’s all the Canadian senators who just awarded themselves a medal meant to honour ‘unsung heroes’ (170 points, 32 comments)

Top Commenters

  1. _Minor_Annoyance (3783 points, 228 comments)
  2. OrzBlueFog (3097 points, 239 comments)
  3. warflax (2540 points, 242 comments)
  4. fencerman (2336 points, 307 comments)
  5. CULTURAL___MARXIST (1915 points, 184 comments)
  6. EngSciGuy (1833 points, 233 comments)
  7. Cansurfer (1684 points, 255 comments)
  8. SatanicBarrister (1580 points, 156 comments)
  9. Pie_Gun (1387 points, 148 comments)
  10. Majromax (1202 points, 117 comments)
  11. randomu_name (1195 points, 156 comments)
  12. StrudleNudle (1176 points, 142 comments)
  13. eriktheguy (1161 points, 176 comments)
  14. SugarBear4Real (1161 points, 75 comments)
  15. CupOfCanada (1122 points, 185 comments)
  16. jtbc (1054 points, 115 comments)
  17. Acesolid (1021 points, 105 comments)
  18. juanless (1006 points, 92 comments)
  19. raptorman556 (891 points, 87 comments)
  20. habs76 (890 points, 61 comments)
  21. justinstigator (856 points, 77 comments)
  22. AvroLancaster (810 points, 101 comments)
  23. marshalofthemark (799 points, 113 comments)
  24. the_monkey_ (785 points, 70 comments)
  25. FleetInBeing (781 points, 42 comments)
  26. Statistical_Insanity (758 points, 124 comments)
  27. MethoxyEthane (731 points, 90 comments)
  28. LastBestWest (725 points, 151 comments)
  29. Kyrias (693 points, 26 comments)
  30. kludgeocracy (611 points, 59 comments)
  31. Celda (608 points, 65 comments)
  32. Issachar (605 points, 102 comments)
  33. seaintosky (588 points, 69 comments)
  34. Daravon (588 points, 32 comments)
  35. GoOtterGo (571 points, 24 comments)
  36. AhmedF (569 points, 51 comments)
  37. GumboBenoit (557 points, 86 comments)
  38. Rithense (545 points, 106 comments)
  39. PGXHC (522 points, 35 comments)
  40. steadly (519 points, 28 comments)
  41. Galickah (500 points, 34 comments)
  42. ___OccamsChainsaw___ (472 points, 31 comments)
  43. DarthPantera (460 points, 45 comments)
  44. Jeffgoldbum (449 points, 27 comments)
  45. ChimoEngr (444 points, 132 comments)
  46. Move_Zig (443 points, 69 comments)
  47. RegretfulEducation (443 points, 61 comments)
  48. aberthin (442 points, 61 comments)
  49. PopeSaintHilarius (440 points, 52 comments)
  50. varsil (440 points, 30 comments)

Top Submissions

  1. As US prepares to gut net neutrality rules, Canada strengthens them by GumboBenoit (765 points, 112 comments)
  2. Comparing marijuana to fentanyl is social conservatism without a clue: Opinion by StrudleNudle (723 points, 115 comments)
  3. This Conservative Politician Said Weed Is Just As Deadly as Fentanyl by steadly (492 points, 176 comments)
  4. Inside Bell's Push To End Net Neutrality In Canada by BattlestarBattaglia (479 points, 91 comments)
  5. Canadians want Ottawa to ban use of tax havens, poll finds Toronto Star by Savage_N0ble (478 points, 125 comments)
  6. Poll suggests majority of Canadians backs outright ban on guns in urban areas by _Minor_Annoyance (395 points, 1213 comments)
  7. Canada will not move embassy to Jerusalem, federal government says by floatingpaper (378 points, 236 comments)
  8. Maxime Bernier reiterates opposition to Net Neutrality by OrzBlueFog (352 points, 173 comments)
  9. Alberta MLA says marijuana legalization could lead to communist revolution by teh_inspector (349 points, 108 comments)
  10. Ottawa to build 100,000 new affordable units, recognize housing as 'fundamental right ' by _Minor_Annoyance (345 points, 113 comments)

Top Comments

  1. 385 points: whoami9's comment in ‘He said, No, no, no’: Trump tells crowd about trade disagreement with Trudeau
  2. 305 points: _Minor_Annoyance's comment in ‘He said, No, no, no’: Trump tells crowd about trade disagreement with Trudeau
  3. 288 points: FleetInBeing's comment in NDP, experts call for greater control over Canadian arms sales abroad
  4. 193 points: SugarBear4Real's comment in ‘He said, No, no, no’: Trump tells crowd about trade disagreement with Trudeau
  5. 191 points: AhmedF's comment in This Conservative Politician Said Weed Is Just As Deadly as Fentanyl
  6. 187 points: Shawnanigans's comment in Ottawa to build 100,000 new affordable units, recognize housing as 'fundamental right '
  7. 178 points: jacnel45's comment in Trump says Trudeau left out lumber, energy while talking trade numbers
  8. 175 points: Galickah's comment in Ottawa to build 100,000 new affordable units, recognize housing as 'fundamental right '
  9. 175 points: deleted's comment in Prime Minister names the Honourable Richard Wagner as new Chief Justice of Canada
  10. 171 points: kludgeocracy's comment in Ontario passes $15 minimum wage
Generated with BBoe's Subreddit Stats (Donate)
submitted by subreddit_stats to subreddit_stats [link] [comments]


2017.08.09 07:37 youto2 House Party 8/7/17 - Part Two

Punch for punch for punch, the two men batter the living hell out of each other! The two get ahold of one another in a sloppy collar-and-elbow, trying to wrestle the other for superiority. They ram each other through the crowd, until they reach a staircase that leads to a higher section of seating.
Woodbridge: Can these two just, like, go to wrestlers court or something?
Paisner: We’re a bit past that, Mark.
Derrok hits Nova with a forearm to the chin, and starts to climb the stairs, He doesn’t get far, however, as Nova grabs at his shirt and pulls himself towards Bishop. Derrok replies with a back elbow, before continuing to climb the stairs.
Woodbridge: They’re going to the nosebleeds!
Paisner: Nosebleeds? This building is like, two stories tall!
Woodbridge: It’s relative, Allen!
They make it to the top of the staircase, teetering on the edge as they continue to batter each other. Nova, back to the stairs, swings a knee upwards into Derrok’s gut, but before he can capitalize, Bishop falls to his knees and sweeps Nova’s legs, causing him to lose his balance and begin to fall down the stairs!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Paisner: Fuck! Shit! Fuck!
Woodbridge: God damn, that’s at least 25 steps!
Nova hits the bottom of the stairs, bruised and cut. Derrok walks down the staircase somewhat cockily, knowing he’s got Nova beat. He stands in front of Dalidus, before walking over to the barrier, and taking a microphone off a table.
Derrok: JUGGERNAUT, UNDERSACH: GET THE HELL OUT HERE!
Derrok grabs Nova in a headlock and wrenches him up to a somewhat standing base, before forcing his body over the barrier back towards the ring. As Harry Undersach nervously enters from the curtain and jogs towards the ring, Derrok pushes Nova’s unmoving body into the ring.
Paisner: Oh, what the hell is this?!
Woodbridge: Derrok already beat the hell outta Nova, but now he’s going to force him to fight Juggernaut, too?
Lurking hits the speakers, and the crowd boos unexpectedly loud as Juggernaut enters from behind the curtain, walking in a beeline straight towards the ring.
Derrok: And someone from the back get the champion his title, he’s earned it after all!
As Juggernaut enters the ring, Nova barely even sits up in his corner. Harry Undersach looks refusing to start the match, but Derrok yells at him from ringside, demanding that Harry rings the bell. Not wanting to face Derrok’s wrath, Harry signals for the bell.
DING DING DING
Paisner: This isn’t going to end well.
Juggernaut immediately grabs Nova in the corner, and effortlessly pulls him up. Juggernaut pulls a fist back, before swinging it forward right into the skull of Nova, causing him to spit blood as his head whiplashes back!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Juggernaut backs up slightly, as Nova takes a stumbled step forwards, before falling to the mat. Juggernaut almost smirks at his downed opponent, the man he’s been waiting to get his hands on for weeks.
Paisner: There’s no fuckin need for this, stop the damn match Harry!
Nova can hardly even open his eyes, as Juggernaut again wrenches him to his feet, before shoving Dalidus’ head between his thighs, quickly pulling the champion into position for a Powerbomb!
Crowd: Oooh - BOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: HELLUVA POWERBOMB!
Paisner: Juggernaut calls that Rebirth, and Nova is… absolutely obliterated.
Juggernaut falls to his knees and covers Dalidus, Harry glad to finally be ending the match.
1…!
2…!
3…!
DING DING DING
Javier: The winner of this match at a time of 1:11: JUGGERNAUT!
Lurking plays, as Juggernaut quickly exits the ring, heading straight towards the curtain before Harry can even raise his hand. As Juggernaut exists, however, Kelly Williams scurries out to the ring, carrying the Undisputed Independent Championship towards Nova.
Bishop: Ah ah ah, Kelly. Over here.
Kelly looks very displeased with Derrok, but not wanting to eat an attack, he hands the championship belt over to Derrok, before quickly fleeing the scene as Derrok walks into the ring.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Bishop: Boo all you want, you foul mouthed prison jockeys! All of you should take a good, hard look at this scene, because it’s exactly what you’re going to be seeing in just two weeks when I take my title from Dumplicedust Nova!
Derrok snickers to himself, before raising the Undisputed Independent Championship high. He then releases the belt, letting it hit the mat beside the discombobulated Dalidus.
Paisner: Well… damn.
Woodbridge: Normally Derrok is a wisecracking little shit, but tonight, tonight he was just a regular little shit.
Paisner: It’s because of that championship. The opportunity to wear prestigious gold around your waist, to go down in history as a champion in your sport; men do unexpected things for that glory.
COMMERCIAL
We cut back, as we see our commentary team at their desk
Paisner: And next up, we have yet another match in the Joey McCarty Invitational! Joey’s goon Andrew Reilly will have a.. snickers tough challenge against the New York legend, Alex Albany.
Woodbridge: You’re laying it on a little bit thick there, Pais.
Paisner: You don’t know, we haven’t seen Albany in months, he could have been training!
The camera cuts to Javier.
Javier: The following contest is a Joey McCarty Invitational match! It is scheduled for one fall-
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Javier: - and it has a 20 minute time limit! Introducing first, from NEW YORK CITY... New Jersey... He weighed in tonight at 160 pounds, ALEX ALBANY!
Albany’s masterpiece of a theme begins to play, and the audience booes raucously. Albany steps out and flexes his arms, showing his... entirely unimpressive physique.
Woodbridge: I’m going to say that’s a no on the whole training thing.
Paisner: Fair enough.
The ring crew form around Albany, and he nods. The men spray fire extinguishers onto the ground, sending a plume of chemicals for Albany to walk through. He bounces twice, hyping himself up, and charges through it, coming out the other side!
Woodbridge: How much did that bit cost?
Paisner: Ehh it wasn’t that bad.
Albany drops to one knee and starts coughing violently, having inhaled the fire extinguisher particulates, and the ring crew drops the extinguishers to go check on him! He waves them off, staggers to his feet, and heads down to the ring, rolling into it in shame.
Javier: And his opponent... from the penalty box... he weighs in tonight at 208 pounds... ANDREW REILLY!
Reilly’s theme starts to play as he steps out from behind the curtain. The crowd booes at him somewhat, but is mostly confused.
Paisner: Reilly one of McCarty’s hired goons, we don’t really know much about him at the moment.
Woodbridge: He’s a hockey goon, and he’s a shitty human being. That’s all we need to know.
Reilly walks down the ramp and rolls into the ring, and the two square off, Albany running his mouth as Harry Undersach calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Albany rushes in and the two lock up! Albany tries to shove Reilly away, but Reilly just takes the shove without moving. Reilly brings Albany over with an arm drag! Albany pops to his feet! Reilly charges at Albany, and Albany catches him with a shitty little kick! Reilly staggers back a step, and Albany charges forward with a lariat, sending Reilly to the mat!
Paisner: Albany getting the advantage in this early exchange!
Woodbridge: Albany’s doing something at least?
Albany continues running, and leaps onto the ropes! He springboards, and goes for an elbow drop! Reilly rolls out of the way, and Albany lands flat on his elbow! Reilly pops to his feet, and gets to the corner, stalking Albany as he gets up, grabbing his elbow! He charges and connects with his full body, sending Albany flying out of the ring!
Paisner: Well fuck, Albany just got destroyed!
Woodbridge: Reilly POUNCED on the opportunity!
Paisner: fuck you.
Albany slowly staggers to his feet, and Reilly charges forward, diving through the ropes and bowling him over with a suicide dive! Reilly pops to his feet, and heaves Albany up, throwing him into the ring! Reilly follows and goes for the cover!
1!
2!
Albany kicks out!
Paisner: Alex Albany showing surprising resiliency here!
Woodbridge: He took like 2 moves.
Paisner: Surprising for HIM.
Reilly gets to his feet, and Albany slowly staggers up after him! Reilly slides over and rolls Albany up, pinning him yet again!
1!
2!
Albany kicks out again! Reilly gets to his feet and growls, looking at Albany who slowly staggers to his feet. Reilly charges - drop toe hold from Albany! Albany pops up, looking to the crowd for support!
*Crowd: BOOOOOOO!!!!!
Albany pouts, but charges at the ropes, as Reilly gets to his feet! He springboards - turns, lands into a hurricanrana! He doesn’t get the rotation, though, and Reilly drops Albany into a powerbomb! Reilly smirks, and grabs Albany by the wrists, lifting him into the air before slamming him down into the mat again! Albany falls into a heap, and Reilly grabs him by the legs, flipping him over, and locking in a sloppy Sharpshooter! Reilly pulls back, and the ref drops to check on Albany, who is HOWLING in pain!
Paisner: This could be it! Will he -
Albany taps out!
Paisner: -oh,
Woodbridge: Well, that was anticlimactic.
DING DING DING
Javier: And your winner, at a time of 4:23... ANDREW REILLY!
Reilly raises one arm into the air, smirking at the crowd, who boo him in response!
Paisner: Reilly putting in a rather dominating performance there, and advancing to the next round of the invitational!
Woodbridge: We’ll see if he can pull off the cinderella story, and have a WiR Championship match his first month into the company!
Javier: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
Audience: ONE FALL!
Sprockets begins to play as the audience lets out a chorus of boos
Javier: From Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, BOBBY FFAAYYYEE!
Bobby storms down to the ring, flipping the bird at a fan who has a sign saying “Welcome Back Bobby” before climbing into the ring and stomping over to the corner, looking almost annoyed that she has to be here.
Paisner: Bobby doesn’t look best pleased, even by her standards, Mark.
Woodbridge: What do you expect? She wants Maverick, she’s made that very clear, and instead she’s had a certain alcohol scented obstacle placed in her way.
As Woodbridge finishes saying that, Sweet Soul Sister begins to blare, kicking up the fans into a wave of cheers
Javier: And her opponent, from Kilkenny, Ireland, ALEXIS BREATHNAAAACCHH!
Alexis emerges with a smirk on her face, headbanging to her song as usual; her t-shirt has been graffitied crudely, a plain black t-shirt with bright green spray paint spelling out “Bobby Is A Gimp”, producing laughter from some of the audience, while her black jeans have the names Bishop, Funkatron, Botozzi, Stenmark and Hungarian all sprayed in green and crossed out with bright red crosses.
Paisner: Somehow I get the impression Alexis isn’t taking Bobby as seriously as she ought to.
Woodbridge: If she’s even capable of taking anything seriously I don’t see why Alexis would feel the need, she wasn’t here during Bobby’s first WIR tenure, as far as she knows this is just another match.
Paisner: Yeah well, if looks could kill, you’d only need to look at Bobby right now for a swift and painful death, Alexis would do well to watch her back.
Alexis high fives several fans at ringside before jumping onto the top turnbuckle of her corner and throwing up the devil horns for her fans, prompting a wave of imitation in the crowd before getting down at the ref’s insistence and preparing for the match.
Paisner: All I can tell you folks, this is the unstoppable force meets the immovable object. I couldn’t begin to tell you who I’d be betting on, but what I can tell you is this is that neither of these women is going to go quietly.
DING DING DING!!!
The bell rings and instantly Bobby rushes at Alexis; the irish wrestler jumps back onto the second rope and leaps over Bobby as she tries to clothesline Alexis into the corner, rolling as she lands to arrive at the corner Bobby just vacated
Paisner: Bobby wasting no time here, she wants this one over with quickly.
Bobby wheels around, scowling as Alexis proceeds back to the center of the ring, looking to not get cornered. Bobby charges at Alexis, who attempts to slide into Bobby’s legs to trip her up; Bobby instead jumps over the slide and, when Alexis stops, delivers a vicious stomp to her head
Woodbridge: Oof, felt that one from out here
Bobby grabs Alexis and pulls her to her feet but Alexis begins to throw punches into Bobby’s stomach repeatedly, forcing her to let go. Alexis spins and attempts the Irish Kiss discus elbow, but Bobby ducks under the attempt and grabs her extended arm, attempting to lock in an armbar, Alexis immediately begins forward rolling in circles around Bobby to try and escape, also making it impossible to lock the armbar in; after three rolls Bobby instead yanks Alexis towards her by the arm and delivers a vicious uppercut that floors Alexis again
Paisner: Alexis needs to stop messing around and get some offense in, Bobby’s just cutting her down here
Woodbridge: Try stepping in there with Bobby sometime; Alexis isn’t messing around in there, this is what a skilled wrestler trying their best against Bobby looks like, which should tell you everything you need to know.
Bobby smirks down at Alexis and lifts her straight from the floor into a suplex, holding her up for several moments before completing the move. From there Bobby pulls Alexis into a sitting position and applies a chinlock, dragging her back several paces as Alexis tries to reach for the ropes.
Paisner: Smart strategy here, keeping Breathnach away from the ropes as much as possible, obviously Bobby’s done her homework on her opponent.
Woodbridge: Yeah we’ve seen it before, you can do as much as you like to Breathnach but if you let her build up speed and bounce off those ropes you’re in for a world of hurt, Bobby’s not about to let that happen.
Alexis struggles against the chinlock as Bobby drags her up, trying to transition the hold to the Furiosa Finish, but as she attempts to shift into the half-nelson Alexis drops to her knees and manages to slip out of the hold, rolling Faye into a schoolgirl pin
1!
Faye kicks out of the roll up at the count of one and throws a vicious punch at Alexis, who sidesteps the blow and delivers a spin kick to Bobby’s stomach, making her double over momentarily. Alexis takes advantage of the bend to draw her knee back and drive it into Bobby’s face, sending her staggering.
Alexis follows Bobby to the ropes and bounces from the second rope beside her, aiming for the Jumping DDT that will lead to her Guillotine Choke, Bobby however kicks the ropes to throw Alexis off balance, forcing her to abandon the springboard, Bobby instead catches her as she drops and elevates her into a flapjack, bringing Alexis down neck first onto the top rope.
Woodbridge: Yikes, that did NOT go to plan for Breathnach
Paisner: Bobby’s got her number here, Woodbridge, she knows every trick up her sleeve.
Woodbridge: Alexis doesn’t have any sleeves on though.
Alexis staggers in pain, clutching at her neck, stumbling right into Bobby’s clutches; the menacing Faye flings Alexis through the middle rope and hooks one of her arms, setting up a Spike DDT.
Paisner: Welp, was nice knowing you ‘Lexis
Bobby falls back, nailing the Spike DDT. Keeping Alexis’ arm hooked, Bobby repositions herself, looking for a Triangle Arm Choke; as she goes to float over to complete the hold Alexis plants her feet on the floor, blocking the first bridge attempt. Bobby growls and eases up the hold to try and knee Alexis hard in the ribs, as she does Alexis, with a spurt of effort and strength, pulls them both up to a standing position, spins around and delivers a picture perfect Northern Lights Suplex to Bobby, bridging into another pin.
1!
Bobby again kicks out near instantly, both women rising to their feet at the same time and glaring at each other, Bobby in fury and Alexis in defiance.
Paisner: Hey, Woody, you feel like speaking up any time soon?
Woodbridge: Sorry Paisner, gotta be honest I’m mostly keeping my eyes on Bobby so I can be first out the door if she comes this way.
Paisner: Amen to that
Alexis and Bobby lock up in the center of the ring, Alexis quickly wrestling Bobby into a headlock which Bobby counters with a snap mare to flip Alexis over her, Alexis kips up before Bobby can pin her down again and throws another Irish Kiss elbow at Bobby, who sidesteps but this time is met before she can retaliate with an Enziguri from Alexis.
Woodbridge: Nice fake out there from Breathnach, she won’t make the same mistake twice!
Alexis takes advantage of the Enziguri landing to begin raining punches onto Bobby, backing her up to a corner turnbuckle and continuing to drive her blows and fists into Bobby, a particularly vicious blow knocking Bobby to the ground.
Paisner: Breathnach on the attack here, finally gaining some ground in this match!
Alexis sprints from the corner to the opposite turnbuckle, steps up to the second rope in the corner to quickly wave to the fans before sprinting full pelt back toward Bobby in the corner, delivering a dropkick to the seated Bobby’s head with a sickening crack as she connects.
Woodbridge: Nasty dropkick there for Bobby
Alexis drags Bobby out of the corner by her feet but as she drops Bobby and straightens up the downed wrestler kips up from the floor, catching Alexis around the neck with her legs and transitioning into a vicious Frankensteiner mid-kip
Paisner: WHOA
Woodbridge: Did you see that?!
Paisner: Yes I did, I’m right here!
Alexis’ head bounces off the mat from the Frankensteiner and Bobby quickly goes for a cover
1
2
Alexis manages to kick out at the second count, rolling onto her side and draping an arm over her head to avoid being stomped on there again. Bobby kips up fully this time and instead delivers a harsh, stiff kick to Alexis’ stomach, causing her to curl up.
Paisner: Bobby showing about the amount of kindness and gentle nature we could expect from her
Woodbridge: Didn’t she just kick Alexis like her stomach was a soccer ball?
Paisner: I rest my case
Bobby steps over Alexis, giving her a casual kick as she does so and holds her arms out as the crowd boos, cupping her ear as if she can’t hear them, giving a stomp to Alexis’ hand to produce more boos from the crowd.
Paisner: What a charming, sweet tempered girl…
Bobby smirks and gives a crotch chop in the direction of the crowd; behind her, Alexis has recovered and rises up behind Bobby, grabbing her into quick neckbreaker.
Woodbridge: Well, shouldn’t turn your back in a fight Bobby.
Alexis ducks under the second rope and ascends to the top turnbuckle. Throwing up the sign of the horns for the fans, to thunderous applause, with both hands before leaping from the top rope and hitting the Heartthrob elbow drop onto Bobby.
Paisner: Heatthrob!
Woodbridge: Yes I think she might be for more than a few in our crowd tonight.
Alexis scrambles to cover Bobby again but seems to reconsider halfway through; instead, Alexis looks from Bobby to the turnbuckle and again ascends to the top, however as she settles atop the turnbuckle Bobby recovers and, lightning quick, jumps up herself, grappling Alexis and attempting to work the irish grappler into position for a Superplex.
Paisner: Ah ah, she got too cocky, should’ve capitalised.
Both women throw punches and try their best to hoist the other up, balanced precariously on the top rope and turnbuckle, soon facing each other and almost tightrope walking the top rope even as they continued to throw punches. A particularly hard strike from Alexis rocks Bobby, sending her falling into a seated position on the turnbuckle.
Woodbridge: What’s Breathnach thinking here?
Alexis bounces twice on the top rope before leaping up and grabbing Bobby with her legs around the neck, going for a Hurricanrana off the top.
Paisner: Hurrica-
Woodbridge: No!
Alexis dangles upside down as Bobby hooks her feet under the top rope, keeping leverage to not be pulled into the move. Instead, Bobby hauls Alexis back up onto her shoulders and, despite the punches being rained down on her head, leaps from the top, landing a thunderous Sit Out Powerbomb from the top rope, Alexis immediately flopping like a ragdoll on impact.
Paisner: POWERBOMB OFF THE TOP ROPE
Woodbridge: That’s it, it’s done.
The referee quickly comes to make the count as Bobby hooks the leg, obviously having taken an impact herself from the drop.
1
2
3- NO!
With a great burst of adrenaline, Alexis kicks out with the referee’s hand mere inches away from counting three. Bobby looks in disbelief, pounding her fist and gnashing her teeth furiously as Alexis crawls over to the ropes, wincing as she goes.
Woodbridge: Breathnach may have survived that vicious powerbomb but surely the war is lost Paisner?
Paisner: Same with any match Woody, if you can move you can fight, and as long as she can move on finger I reckon Alexis is gonna keep fighting.
Woodbridge: Problem is, I think you could say the same for Bobby
Bobby waits for Alexis to stand up with the help of the ropes before sprinting and delivering a vicious Chopblock to the back of Alexis’ knees, sliding straight under her opponent and the bottom rope; as Alexis hits the floor Bobby straightens up outside and drags Alexis partway under the bottom rope before standing back on the apron.
Paisner: I don’t like where this is going…
Bobby lets out a wild scream of curses at Alexis before backing up to the ring post and running, leaping from the apron, obviously intending to drop both knees on Alexis’ face. Alexis however slides back into the ring, leaving Bobby to land both knees painfully on the hard ring apron.
Alexis rights herself in the ring while Bobby grits her teeth and climbs to her feet on the apron; not wasting a moment, Alexis sprints for the opposite ropes, bounces off them and launches herself at Bobby before she can react, nailing a suicide Spear through the middle ropes that sends both women flying back into the barricade.
Woodbridge: SPEAR
Paisner: Spear right through the ropes to the hard floor, these two are out for blood Woody!
Audience: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Alexis scrambles to her feet and lifts Bobby up as if for a facebuster, swinging her round to bring the Manitoba native onto the barricade stomach first, draping her over it and knocking the wind out of her; with Bobby stunned, Alexis holds onto her head and begins to repeatedly drive her knee into Bobby’s head.
Paisner: Hey girls, the ref’s already at 4. Come on, don’t end this on a countout now, not after all this.
Alexis seems to get the idea, dragging Bobby off the barricade after one last knee to the head and rolling her under the bottom rope, sliding in herself for a pin attempt
1
2
Bobby kicks out and pushes Alexis off, the green haired rocker not seeming to have the strength to get up right away. Instead, Alexis sits only just out of arm's reach as Bobby also sits up, both women panting; their eyes meet, Alexis grins slightly dazedly at Bobby but her opponent returns only another scowl.
Paisner: Is Alexis smiling? Did that spear knock her silly?
Woodbridge: I don’t think so Paisner, this is the kind of thing she lives for, she’s in there with a vicious fighter who’ll give as good as she gets and just won’t stay down. If you ask me, Breathnach wouldn’t have it any other way.
Alexis climbs to her feet first, slowly, sorely scaling the nearest turnbuckle; by the time she has ascended it she looks up in surprise and confusion to see Bobby having climbed the opposite turnbuckle.
Woodbridge: What in the world…
Both women’s eyes meet again, and this time both grin with the same slightly manic gleam. As one, almost as if mirrored, they kneel down on their turnbuckles and, with a mighty push off, leap toward each other, each performing a lariat as they go.
Paisner: Are you kidding me?!
The girls collide in mid-air with a sickening crunch, Alexis flipping completely over in mid-fall from the force of Bobby’s hit, both landing in the center with two harsh thuds.
Woodbridge: Has everyone involved in this match completely lost it?!
Paisner: I dunno but this crowd seems to like it!
Audience: This is awesome! clap clap clap This is awesome!
Slowly, groggily, both wrestlers sit up, facing opposite direction but not even a foot apart, side by side. Alexis slowly turns to Bobby, actually laughing now, looking overjoyed at the stupidity they just did. Bobby meets her eyes and also cracks a smile.
That lasts all of five seconds before Bobby throws herself onto Alexis again, laying punches into her face and knees to her ribs.
Paisner: I’m not sure if these two need to go on a date or be locked up!
Woodbridge: Why not both at this point?!
Alexis manages to wriggle her way out under Bobby and begin to return blows, both women simply standing at the center of the ring and throwing wild punches at every inch of their opponent they can reach for a few moments before Bobby lands a stiff kick to Alexis’ head, staggering her; Bobby jumps, aiming for a Frankensteiner but..
Paisner: Uh oh, what goes around comes around Bobby!
Alexis grips onto Bobby’s tights and, despite shaking knees, manages to stay upright and pull Bobby into a seated position on her shoulders. Bobby, knowing what is about to happen, tries to jump away but is held in place as Alexis sprints toward the corner, throwing Bobby into a Turnbuckle Powerbomb as they near the corner and, not content with that, throws another Irish Kiss as Bobby bounces back out of the corner, connecting with a loud crack to Bobby and flooring her, Alexis practically collapsing on top of her for the pin.
Paisner: Welp, party’s over Bobby!
1
2
3-
NO
Somehow, someway, Bobby manages to kick her legs out, not able to totally throw Alexis off but managing to find the bottom rope.
Woodbridge:* I’m running out of ways to say this but HOW?! Just, HOW?! How are these two still in this?
Alexis looks utterly stunned as Bobby begins to climb up. Her eyes seem to lose their gleam for a moment as she delivers a gut kick to make Bobby bend down and, no longer smiling, hooks both of her arms.
Paisner: What’s Alexis up to here?
Alexis holds Bobby in the double underhook for a moment, seeming to have second thoughts; the hesitation is enough, allowing Bobby to power out of the hold and slip behind Alexis, successfully locking in a ¾ nelson.
Woodbridge: No! Why, why did she hesitate?!
Alexis tries to fight out, but to no avail as Bobby flings her back into a ¾ Nelson Suplex, arching her back into a bridge pin.
Paisner: Furiosa Finish! A while since we’ve seen that.
1
2
3
Woodbridge: It’s over, it’s over!
Paisner: NO! Look, look!
Bobby too looks, seeming for a moment to have assumed a win, but sure enough Alexis has managed to limply flop out one leg to the ropes, officially breaking the count.
Woodbridge: No way, that’s a mistake right?
Paisner: Nope, the ref’s saying she broke the count, look.
Sure enough, the referee begins to count, demanding Bobby to release the pin, which she does, looking herself both angry and shocked that Alexis was able to get away with it. The move has clearly taken it’s toll however, as Alexis drags herself along the floor toward the corner, using the ringpost to stand up.
Bobby follows behind the irish girl, pulling her up to her feet, seeming almost pitying for a moment. Alexis’ head lolls on her shoulders, seemingly out of it… until a sudden movement from her finds Bobby rolled up into a schoolgirl pin.
1
2
Bobby kicks out of the pin and glowers furiously down at Alexis, who can’t stand up anymore and simply grins at Bobby, giving her a defiant two middle-fingered salute from her kneeling position.
Paisner: One last act of defiance there, not sure it’ll be worth it for Alexis.
Bobby roughly yanks Alexis up and positions her for a german suplex, hitting the move with a horrible snapping motion. But Bobby doesn’t release, instead rolling to her feet and hitting another german suplex, adding one more toward the center of the ring after the second; still not releasing Alexis, Bobby guides her limply back to her feet, holding Alexis up by a wristlock.
Alexis has enough time to look up and see what’s coming before Bobby pulls Alexis towards her and moves forward herself, moving so fast towards each other it’s as if a rubber band just snapped back, before Bobby brings her knee up to collide viciously with Alexis’ face, causing her head to whip backwards and knocking all remaining fight out of her.
Woodbridge: Anyone get the license plate on that truck?
Paisner: Faye-Trigger to Alexis, that has to be it!!!
Bobby gives Alexis’ limp form one more stomp before hooking her leg for the pin.
1
2
3!!!
DING DING DING!!!
Javier: At a time of 17:00, here is your winner, BOBBY FFAAYYYEEE!
Paisner: Call it what you like Javier, I think the crowd won with this one.
Woodbridge: What a win for Bobby Faye though! Breathnach had never been pinned before tonight, but Faye had her number!
Bobby stands up in the ring, walking somewhat unsteadily toward Javier and snatching his mic from him before turning to address the cameras.
Bobby: One down, Maverick!
Bobby gives another stomp to Alexis’ limp form
Bobby: This carries on until you face me!!!
Bobby throws the mic viciously into the crowd and leaves the ring, Alexis managing to be helped up the ramp initially by the referee but, halfway up, managing to very groggily walk on her own. Alexis raises the sign of horns for the fans one more time, drinking in their cheers and applause, before continuing to the back.
We fade into the scene of the Arena’s Parking Lot, as we see the Security Guards in the lot start to chat.
Security Guard 1: You know, I think we’re doing a damn fine job at keeping Eric Matthews out.
Security Guard 2: Yep. Sharp better pay handsomely for this!
As the two guards start to talk, suddenly a FREAKIN BULLDOZER approaches to the parking lot!!!!
Security Guard 1: What in the ass?!
Security Guard 2: It’s Matthews!!! He must be driving it!!!!
Suddenly, the Bulldozer rams RIGHT into a Black 2004 Chrysler Sebring, and damn near demolishes it!!!
Security Guard 1: We gotta stop him!!!
Suddenly, the Bulldozer parks, and the person driving it exits the vehicle, but it’s not Eric Matthews, it’s just a homeless man!!!
Security Guard 2: That’s not Matthews!
Security Guard 1: Yeah, but we still gotta get him! You think Sharp is gonna pay is if we just let that guy get away with destroying a car?!
Security Guard 2: Good point….GET OVER HERE!!!
The guards start rushing towards the homeless man, who’s finishing up a Big Mac for some reason. The Homeless Man, barefoot, starts to run away from the Guards, and they chase him out of the arena, following him out into the nearby streets! As the guards are occupied with the homeless man, Eric Matthews slips into the parking lot, with nobody there to stop him from getting into the arena. Matthews has a smug grin and turns to face the camera.
Matthews: You’d be amazed at what a homeless person will do if you give them a buck and a cheeseburger….hahahaha!!!
Matthews struts up to the door leading to the backstage area, and nonchalantly waltzes inside. Eric starts whistling a joyous tune, and picks up a nearby lead pipe on the floor in the hallway. While whistling,Matthews starts smashing windows in the backstage area, and starts destroying some show equipment!!!
Matthews: MIRACLE!!! I KNOW YOU’RE BACK HERE! DON’T MAKE ME WAIT FOREVER!!!
Suddenly, a couple of Security Guards hear the ruckus, and approach Matthews to try and detain him! However, Eric makes the guards pay by blasting them in the ribs with his lead pipe, causing them to collapse onto the floor, clutching their ribs in excruciating pain!
Matthews: C’MON MIRACLE! I JUST WANNA TALK!!!
As Matthews continues to scream and shout, trying to get Miracle to show up, he is suddenly approached by another member of Security, who’s wielding a baton, sporting a mustache and wearing a cap.
Matthews: Another Security Guard eh?...
The Security Guard removes his cap and fake mustache.
Chad Miracle: Not Quite.
Miracle rushes towards Matthews, and uses his baton to knock the lead pipe out of the stunned Matthews’ hand! Miracle tackles Matthews down to the ground, and the two start to brawl backstage, getting into an all out fistfight! The two start trading wild right hands, fighting with wild aggression! Suddenly, Russell Sharp approaches the scene with a group of 6 more Security Guards, and orders them to split the two up!
Sharp: Guards, break it up! Separate Eric and Chad!
The guards follow their orders, and start to intervene in Chad and Eric’s fight, pulling them away from each other. The two clearly want to continue to fight, and Sharp notices this.
Sharp: If y’all two wanna fight so damn bad, you got it! At Holy Spotfest, Batman, it’ll be Eric Matthews vs. Chad Miracle!!! Now get Matthews the hell outta here!!!
The two men start to smile, liking the idea of facing each other in the ring. As the guards convince Miracle to lay off of Matthews, telling him to save it for the iPPV, we see the other security guards dragging Matthews out of the building as the scene fades away and we cut back to the ring.
Paisner: That’s huge! We’ve got another confirmed match for the iPPV, and it’s Matthews vs. Miracle, one on one!!!
submitted by youto2 to wrestlingisreddit [link] [comments]


2017.08.07 13:28 feedreddit The 'Trump Effect' on Canada's Classrooms

The 'Trump Effect' on Canada's Classrooms
by Emily Richmond via Master Feed : The Atlantic
URL: http://ift.tt/2uhyoi2
Standing at the front of her classroom this past February, the public high-school English teacher Jana Rohrer wrote the words “American Flag” on the board and asked her ninth-grade students to tell her what came to their minds.
Over the past six years Rohrer has used the exercise as part of a lesson to help explain symbolism in Harper Lee’s classic To Kill a Mockingbird. And over the past six years, the students’ answers had become routine: Freedom. Independence. Patriotism.
This time, there were new words mixed among the more familiar responses: Hate. Racism. Danger. “It was like when you hear a record scratch and the music stops,” said Rohrer, recalling the moment from the classroom exercise. “I was just floored.”
Plenty has been written about the shifting relationship between the U.S. and its allies, including Canada, Great Britain, and Germany, since Donald Trump’s presidential election. But it’s not just playing out during geopolitical summits and trade negotiations. Trump’s influence is also a focus in schools, including Rohrer’s classroom in this modest border town on the Canadian shores of the Detroit River.
Multiple definitions of a so-called “Trump Effect” have emerged over the past 18 months or so, attributed to everything from stock-market gains to reports of increases in bullying and incidents of racial and religious-based hate crimes. More than 10,000 educators participated in a non-scientific online survey conducted by the Southern Poverty Law Center shortly after the presidential election, with over 90 percent of respondents saying the results of the election had negatively affected their students’ mood and behavior. And 80 percent described “heightened anxiety and concern on the part of students worried about the impact of the election on themselves and their families.” More recently, an investigation by BuzzFeed found examples from dozens of school districts nationwide of students using Trump’s own words to bully their classmates.
Evaluating these sorts of perceptions, especially in a divided political environment, is notoriously tricky. There are strong arguments to be made, for example, that there is simply a brighter spotlight on bad behavior and tensions that pre-date the contentious presidential election cycle and its aftermath. Besides, the impact of Trump’s presidency on Canada might actually be a good thing. A few opinion writers have suggested that the country might benefit from a Trump administration, particularly on trade deals. In a February piece, Andrea Charron, an assistant professor and deputy-director of the Centre for Defence and Security Studies at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg, argued that demonizing Trump is easy, but it may be shortsighted, too. Trump’s surprise victory should be a wake-up call for apathetic Canadian voters who oppose him, and the subsequent policy developments are boosting student interest in current events, she said. Charron also wrote that some university students who are conservative or Trump supporters have told her they feel “vilified by their professors.” That runs counter to the idea of colleges as places where debate should be welcomed, Charron said.
But those perspectives aren’t particularly visible. If the volatile political climate in the U.S. is indeed contributing to an increase in incivility and even outright harassment, those developments, in turn, appear to be fueling another kind of “Trump Effect”—a diminished view of how America is perceived by other countries, including longtime allies. And there’s evidence that the fallout has breached what’s widely been considered the U.S.’s most consistently friendly border. In a recent survey by the Environics Institute for Survey Research, just 44 percent of Canadians held a favorable view of the U.S.—a 35-year low.
“I see [the ‘Trump Effect’], absolutely, every single day. Not equally among every population, but in any group, even young groups, there's always some people who are quite actively impacted,” said Kathy Bickmore, an education professor at the University of Toronto. “Either they're afraid, or they're more angry and worried.”
Jana Rohrer, an English teacher at Sandwich Secondary School. As Rohrer’s experience demonstrates, attitudes are shifting in classrooms, too. Given that American politics often score front-page headlines in the country next door, it’s not unusual that Canadian students’ views on the U.S. are being influenced by what they read, see, and hear, Bickmore said. However, there’s a perception that something is different in the Trump era compared with prior years. “It feels unprecedented in scale and speed, but there's a joke around here that when the United States gets a cold, Canada gets pneumonia,” Bickmore said. “The ‘Trump Effect’ has hit us hard.”
For some schools, that pneumonia has translated into policy. The Greater Essex County District School Board—a district of about 75 schools serving roughly 36,000 students in Essex and Windsor counties, including at Sandwich Secondary—announced earlier this year that all student field trips to the U.S. were indefinitely suspended.
Many students in the Windsor-Essex area have foreign or dual citizenship, local educators say. The risk of them being barred from entering the U.S. with their classmates because of Trump’s then-proposed travel ban for individuals holding passports from seven Muslim-majority countries was too great, explained Scott Scantlebury, the school system’s spokesman. “The decision was, ‘if all can’t go, none can go,’” Scantlebury told me.
Echoing concerns about the impact of Trump’s ban on its pupils, Toronto, Canada’s largest and most diverse school district with over 300,000 students, followed Essex’s lead in March, as did the Girl Guides, the Canadian equivalent to the U.S.’s Girl Scouts. (More recently, a school district near Seattle, Washington, canceled its field trips into Canada, fearing students might not be allowed to return.)
Windsor’s Herman Academy was one of the first schools in the Greater Essex system to see its field trips to the United States canceled. Jason Pfaff, a world-studies teacher at Herman, had been planning to take his students to the Holocaust Memorial Center in Farmington Hills, Michigan, typically an hour or less in travel time. Pfaff says he supported and is proud of the board’s decision to cancel the field trips even though it would mean his students—who include recent immigrants from seven Middle Eastern countries—missed out on a learning opportunity that’s difficult to replicate. The next-closest Holocaust museum is in the northern province of Ottawa, a 10-hour bus ride away.
The Herman Academy sophomore and Windsor-area native Jamiel Nasser laments the field-trip policy, as it meant the school’s band—in which he plays percussion and is learning the saxophone—wasn’t able to attend a competition in Washington, D.C., in April. Nasser was so eager for the trip that he sold boxes of chocolate bars to help his school raise the $800 needed to offset the cost of travel. “Everyone was disappointed because we had this great opportunity taken away from us,” Nasser said. “I feel worse for the [school’s] seniors; this was their last trip.”
But Nasser, who is Muslim and of Palestinian Hungarian descent, said he ultimately supports the district’s decision. “I’m not necessarily blaming anyone,” Nasser said. “But ever since the election, my family has been reluctant to go [to the U.S.].”
Border crossings are not expected to get any easier. In late June, the U.S. Supreme Court allowed substantial portions of the president’s travel ban to be implemented, pending an additional review. As a result, Essex’s principals have already been told the field trip suspensions will remain in place when classes resume this fall, Scantlebury, the school-system spokesman, told me.
Canceling the field trips wasn’t intended to be a “message” to the U.S., or aimed at a specific elected official or political office, Scantlebury said. “That question has certainly been asked but it wasn’t based on that at all—we’re a diverse community, and this [U.S. travel] ban may affect some unfairly. This was an operational decision.”
Andy Smarick, a scholar at the conservative American Enterprise Institute in Washington, D.C., said he could understand why some might draw the conclusion that the canceled field trips were at best an overreaction, and at worst an attempt at using students for political messaging. “Of course we want to protect kids, but if there is no real worry and they’re being robbed the opportunity to come to places like D.C. or Philadelphia, that’s a shame,” said Smarick, who has served in numerous state and federal education-policy positions.
At the same time, “schools always exist in a political context,” Smarick said. Given the level of vitriol being aimed at Trump by politicians and others, it would “be surprising if we didn’t see schools reacting to these developments,” he said.
The ban on field trips doesn’t mean Canadian students are any less plugged into political developments in the U.S. For Hadia Malik, who was in Rohrer’s class ninth-grade class, her English teacher’s symbolism lesson was an eye-opener, especially when she learned that some of her classmates’ responses to the exercise were similar to hers. She’s been paying closer attention to U.S. politics than she ever had previously.
A Muslim of Pakistani heritage who was born and raised in Windsor, Malik said she was saddened that the American flag brought newly negative associations to mind: “Maybe before I did think of ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty.’ But now, definitely, my opinion has changed.”
Malik, who wears a neatly tucked hijab, said in the past year it’s become more common for her peers to ask her why she covers her head or inquire more generally about her faith. But their questions are always polite, and Malik emphasized that she hasn’t experienced any bullying or harassment and that her school “is a very caring community.”
Hadia Malik and Ayman Khatib pose in the English teacher Jana Rohrer’s classroom at Sandwich Secondary School. An exercise on symbolism in “To Kill a Mockingbird” took an unexpected turn when students were asked to share their associations with the American Flag. (Liana LoDuca) Her classmate Kirsten Gibson agreed. A fifth-generation Canadian, Gibson said much of the rhetoric of Trump and his supporters seems to run counter to what she believes are the core principles of her own country—to stand up when you believe someone is being bullied, to push back against discrimination, and to embrace people’s differences. “For someone to be in power who sounds like he’s against those things … [that] is very scary,” Gibson said. “It’s not ‘Oh, they’re across the Pacific Ocean or the Atlantic Ocean.’ We’re 10 minutes away. So, we care. It matters to us.”
Ayman Khatib, who is also in Rohrer’s ninth-grade English class, said Trump’s election has complicated his feelings about the United States. His parents, who are originally from Lebanon, relocated the family to Canada from California about six years ago, believing it would offer their family more opportunity. Under President Barack Obama, “the United States seemed like a pretty nice place,” Khatib said. But while he’s unhappy with some of Trump’s actions and policy positions, he also believes social media and news reports are influencing how Canadians view the new American president. Gibson echoed that perspective: “We’ve been told not to like [Trump] and to fear him.”
When Rohrer discussed the results of the classroom exercises with her husband Josh Canty, he wasn’t surprised. In addition to being principal of Herman Academy, the first school to see its field trips canceled, he coordinates an after-school boxing program where both the U.S. and Canadian flags fly outside of the gymnasium. “One of my Lebanese Canadian students said to me, ‘You’ve got to take down that Trump flag,’” Canty told me.
What’s happening with Canadian schools in places like LaSalle and Windsor is worth watching, said the American Enterprise Institute’s Smarick. There have always been ups and downs to how other nations view the U.S., and the American president is a key driver of that, he added.
“We have a bias that this moment is unlike any other, but is today really different from other fraught times?” Smarick asked. “Is the ‘Trump Effect’ going to last longer? Will we view this in hindsight as a blip on the screen or will it create new less-friendly relationships between us and other countries?”
Researchers like Joel Westheimer, an education professor at the University of Ottawa, are also asking these kinds of questions, though Westheimer expects the current political climate to have ripple effects far beyond field-trip schedules. The author of a book on the impact of 9/11 on how U.S. schools taught patriotism, Westheimer, an American, has teamed up with the UCLA education professor John Rogers to study the impact of the “Trump Effect” on Canadian and American school communities.
Jamiel Nasser poses in the music room at Herman Academy, where he recently finished his sophomore year. A frequent visitor to the U.S., Nasser said he’s experienced greater scrutiny at the border since the election of U.S. President Donald Trump. (Liana LoDuca) Westheimer pointed to Canada’s a rich history of civic-minded education practices that encourage educators to connect current events, even controversial ones, to the required lessons. Teachers in turn often discuss with their students the many political tensions Canada itself struggles with: marginalization of its indigenous populations, a recent influx of immigrants, and an extension of the Black Lives Matter movement. Now, they’re embracing the Trump presidency “as a brilliant teachable moment,” he said. One recent example: Westheimer visited a classroom where a teacher had students compare coverage of “one of the many Trump controversies” from newspapers around the world.
Indeed, for Canadian educators like the high-school English teacher Rohrer, recent events have forced her to rethink her instructional approach. Rather than continue with the next pre-planned lesson back in February, Rohrer set aside time after the symbolism lesson for a follow-up conversation with her students. What did they think was shaping their perceptions of the U.S.? Had their feelings changed at all recently? Where were they getting their information about current events? And what would they use as evidence to back up their individual points of view? Rohrer’s revised lesson plan was in line with Greater Essex’s curriculum requirements, which among other things stipulate that media literacy be incorporated into various subjects. The purpose wasn’t to change students’ feelings about the U.S. but rather to explore what was shaping their points of view and to encourage them to think critically about those sources of information, Rohrer said.
It was also an opportunity to encourage a deeper discussion—something school officials encourage. “We try to create opportunities and having students sharpen their critical thinking skills from when they enter school to right until they graduate,” said Superintendent of Education Clara Howitt, who can see the U.S. border from her office window. “It helps to develop well-rounded individuals who, by the time they graduate from our system, are responsive, locally and nationally and internationally.”
Several parents, including Erin Gibson, the mother of the ninth-grader Kirsten, told me they welcomed the follow-up conversations Rohrer held with students. “We need to have them equipped to handle the real world—we can’t shelter a child their entire life and send them out,” Gibson said.
This isn’t easy work—but it can pay long-term benefits to students, schools, and wider communities, said the University of Toronto’s Bickmore: “Lots of people, even people who are absolutely devoted to education [on the grounds that it can promote] democracy and peace, are uncomfortable with conflict. But if we don’t approach it in a learning environment where information and listening matter—well, who else is going to do it?”
For the ninth-grader and Windsor native Ethan Fields, the American flag exercise in Rohrer’s class stirred up some unexpected emotions. He’s followed Trump’s rise to power via the news and social media, and said he’s troubled by Trump’s comments about women and immigrants, his pledge to build a wall on the Mexican border, and conflicting details about his relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin.
But it’s the class discussion that followed that’s stuck with Fields most.
“To get your feelings out there and tell your friends and classmates about it, definitely helped,” Fields said. “Thinking that I'm not the only one who's worried about this and who thinks this is a problem, it's kind of comforting.”
submitted by feedreddit to arableaks [link] [comments]


2017.01.31 15:22 -finger Not another 'Moving to Whitehorse' thread, yes..yes it is

Hi Folks,
I will be moving to Whitehorse in a few months and have a few questions. I HAVE read pretty much the whole subreddit going back a few years, so i MAY repeat some questions that may not be current with past questions. I will be moving from Winnipeg, I have a Job with GoC. Wife is a professional in the group insurance industry and is current with education. She has no job outlined yet in Whitehorse.
  1. Does anyone have a recommendation on a moving company. I am in a house, but most stuff is not coming. Bringing couch, loveseat, kitchen stuff. I do get a moving allowance.
  2. Other than applying for health card asap, any other 'tips' for someone new to Yukon/Whitehorse
  3. We are outdoorsy people. plan on buying quads and sleds as first opportunity. Kijiji best option for that?
  4. We are driving up with our 26' travel trailer, is camping $50.00 a year and you camp anywhere?
  5. We have a Great Pyrenese and a GSD mix, up to date with shots, anything special to worry about?
  6. Do our Drivers license 'merits' transfer over? What are license fees a year?
  7. How far do you have to go fro some good fishing, In Manitoba we mostly fish for Walleye, but I do not see any lakes with them up there. 8.Does anyone have a recommendation on a good Real Estate Agent?
  8. Are there any 'hidden' Real Estate Listings? we are mostly looking for something with a few acres, up to 45 minute drive to Whitehorse fine.
  9. Are there areas to 'stay away from' or Real Estate Agent to avoid?
  10. How long does a new high speed/tv install take?
  11. How expensive is house insurance/auto insurance, for a new 3/4 truck. Spotless driving record last 20 years.
  12. Can furniture be purchased in the south, but picked up in Whitehorse?
  13. Any good Chinese food restaurants there?
  14. Who has best Pizza?
Spouse and myself will be there at the end of February for a house hunting trip, we plan on getting a pre approved mortgage, and we have already been checking out MLS for a few months now. I have also been checking Kijiji.
Is there anything I missed????
Thank you for any info you can supply.
submitted by -finger to Yukon [link] [comments]


2016.03.10 06:50 SmarkInProgress House Party 03/07/2016 [Part 3/3]

1812 Overture Finale plays as widely known cuntbag Jack Flash walks to the ring, adorned in a "Make Wrestling Great Again" hat, and shirt. Flash puts on the fakest smile anyone in history has has ever put on, and hands out poorly made Campaign pins to members of the audience, none of which put them on, Flash continues to walk to the ring, continuing to use his fake smile, and insincerely waving to the crowd, Flash then gets in the ring, where a debate podium is set up, with a microphone, and a piece of paper on it, Flash then stations himself where the mic is on the podium, and begins to talk.
Flash: Hello Chicago, Illinois!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Flash: Wow, I didn't know you all hate your own city that much! But then again, there's nothing to like about this city, so I can see where you're all coming from.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Flash: But do not stress about your shit stain of city no longer! Because I am here to take you away from your shit reality, by taking you through mine, one where I make wrestling great again! Where undeserving piss stains like The Warlords don't pollute this great sport, where honorable men like me take the place of trouble making hooligans like them, but even a man as great as I am cannot do this alone, I need a running mate, now despite Chicago being a breeding ground for idiots-
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Flash: I'm not finished! Now, as i was saying before all you decided to rudely interrupt me, despite Chicago being a breeding ground for idiots, i'm sure even people as simple-minded as all of you will be able to recognize this man, he's been quite a good help for me these past few weeks, and you people will now get the honor of seeing him officially join me in my campaign to make wrestling great again, so ladies and gentlemen of Chicago, Illinois, I present to you, my running mate and new tag team partner, Oliver Steel!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I Did My Time by CFO$ plays as Flash's newlyfound associate steps from behind the curtains, and struts his way to the ring, dressed in a Gray tuxedo, with a blue undershirt, and a golden watch on one of his wrists.
Paisner: Here we see a man who's proved to be quite useful to Flash, as well as quite a dangerous man, with him helping Flash stab out the eye of Martinez 2 weeks ago, and helping Flash in a 6-man tag last week by hitting Stephen Romero with a chair.
Woodbridge: And with that, he not also helped Flash win, but he helped Flash continue to target The Warlords, because with the goals Flash has set, specifically to become a tag champ, they wouldn't have just done that to Maverick, they were specifically targeting either Romero or Warlock, and they happened to find the right time to strike after Flash knocked the ref down.
Steel talks some shit with some fans, even spitting on a fan wearing a Warlords shirt the second he sees him, Steel climbs into the ring, and walks over to Flash, they quickly shake hands, before Flash picks up the mic again.
Flash: Now, lets hear it for Oliver Steel!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Steel smirks at the boos, as Flash talks again.
Flash: Alright, that's enough, now, you will all finally have the privilege of seeing this man officially join the WiR Roster, because on this podium, I have his WiR contract, which he will now sign in this very ring!
Flash quickly hands Steel his papers and a pen, Steel quickly signs, before saying something to Flash, who then goes to speak some more.
Flash: Well, it seems that Steel wants to speak now, so people of Chicago, give him the attention and respect he deserves, as you all get to witness history, with the first words in WiR of Oliver Steel!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Flash leaves the podium, as Steel takes his place behind it.
Steel: Hello, let me introduce myself, I am Oliver Steel, I am a former champion with FORWARD back in my native England, where unlike here in Chicago, there is actually some traces of Civilization.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Steel: Don't boo me! The English are the only reason any of you are here in the first place! God, you people are somehow worse than your football team!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: Only a few sentences into his career here, and he's already insulted a local sports team, he knows the ways of a rudo well!
Steel: But anyway, where was I? Oh right, I was talking about my accomplishments, now, not only have I won the FORWARD title, I have beaten every other wrestler in the UK, the likes of Smark Randoos, Bill Uspray, "The Antagonist" Martin Scroll, Jack Sorbet Jr., EVERYBODY! And now, I plan to add some American names to that list, and it starts with 2 men, The Warlords, you two made the mistake of preventing Flash from winning those tag titles, both you of know those belong to him, and now, they also belong to me! Warlords, this little title reign of yours will not be worth what we put you through, eye stabbing and chair shots are just the surface. Warlords, we'll wipe both of you off the face of this Earth once and for al-
Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes hits as Robert Warlock and Stephen Romero step out from behind the curtain, Warlock in a Warlord's shirt and his wrestling tights, Stephen Romero in a leather jacket, with the same Warlord's shirt underneath, with his wrestling tights on, they both have mic in their hands, they walk down to the ring, as Romero starts talking into his mic.
Romero: Why hello you there! I believe we've met before.
Steel: Yeah, when I destroyed the last of your last brain cells with a steel chair!
Romero: Huh, you seem to know Flash well, you already know the only people he can beat without bullshit are people without brain cells!
Flash quickly takes the mic from Steel, and speaks himself.
Flash: Excuse me? When I won the torneo cibernetico for the WiR title, I won that clean with a nearly broken arm!
Romero: And how many clean victories have ya gotten since?
Flash: Like uhhh, 2! I think I beat Maverick once, and I got a clean win in that Tag Team Tournament that You, Warlock and Los Chongas screwed me out of!
Romero: And ya got a tag title match from it, so if anything we helped you out in the long run.
Flash: Who the hell do you think you are?! Helped me? HELPED ME?! Sure i got the title match, but then you two decided to STEAL those titles from where they rightfully belong!
Romero: Wow, I didn't know you were such a Los Chongas fan!
Flash: SHUT UP! Do you know who I am? I'm a former world champion! I deserve everything I want since i've proven i'm the best! What have either of you done?!
Warlock: The exact same things you've done and more?
Flash: Yeah, you had a shitty world title reign, but what else since?
Warlock: The title I hold right now?
Flash: The title that I should be holding! And regardless, in terms of world champions, you're outnumbered! Steel is a former FORWARD champion!
Warlock: With all due respect to his accomplishments, i'm sure that took quite a lot of hard work, but he hasn't done anything here, how do you know he's going to be just as good here?
Steel then gets an angry look on his face, and takes the mic from Flash.
Steel: How dare you question me! If you people are the tag champs, then the roster here is clearly full of inbred imbeciles who don't know ring ropes from ringposts! Just like all of Chicago!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Steel: I honestly feel insulted that you two are the best competition this company can scrounge up for me and Flash, let alone that you two are actually champions!
Warlock: I think now's a good time to mention once again, that Flash was one of the people who lost to me and Romero for those tag titles.
Steel: In the most staggering fluke humanity has ever witnessed! You dropped out of the cage barely any faster than Flash's previous partner, who doesn't even deserve to be named, so if you can barely beat a man I refuse to name, how are you supposed to beat someone with some actual talent?
Warlock: Well, why don't we show you?
Warlock and Romero get into the ring, Warlock sliding right in, and Romero stepping over the ropes, Flash instantly decides to back up, as Steel maintains his position
Steel: So you want to fight? Well, i'd prefer not to ruin my tux, so I think i'll pass.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Steel: This thing is expensive! You people don't understand how valuable this is, because none of you never have been and never will be successful enough to buy one of these!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Romero: You don't want to fight? Well what about Flash?
Flash: And get teamed up on? I'll pass as well.
Romero: It can be just you and me, I mean, i've got 2 boots for both of your assholes!
Flash then gets an extremely raged look on his face, and stares right at Romero.
Woodbridge: It may have not been Romero's best decision to bring up Flash's.... incident last week.
Flash then starts to actually froth at the mouth, with a crazed look on his face, before pouncing on Romero! Romero's ready for him and meets Flash with strikes of his own, but Flash starts to claw at Romero's face! Warlock runs over and manages to toss the crazed Flash off Romero, but Steel seems to have changed his mind on fighting, and high knees Warlock in the face! Steel mounts Warlock and starts striking at him, but Warlock manages to push him off, Warlock quickly gets up, and superkicks Steel as he attempts to go back after Warlock! Steel quickly rolls out the ring, Warlock goes after him on the outside, and continues striking at him! Steel gets some of his own in, and soon they're in a full on brawl outside the ring! Meanwhile back in the ring, Romero and Flash resume their own fighting, as Flash manically tries to claw at Romero! Romero gets strikes in, as well as Flash, they fight into a corner, and Flash manages to grab Romero, and reverse STO his face into the middle turnbuckle! Flash then starts repeatedly stomping Romero's head into the turnbuckle, Flash then straight up bites the top turnbuckles padding off, and picks Romero back up, and attempts to send him into it!, but Romero blocks, and back elbows Flash in the head! Flash then charges right back after Romero in the corner, but Romero flings Flash over his head to the outside! Romero then quickly slides out the ring, and starts striking Flash against the barricade! But then Flash bites Romero's hand as he attempts to punch him! Flash then starts frantically and wildly striking at Romero! Both men eventually spill over the barricade into the crowd, and then suddenly Warlock and Steel are back in sight, as Warlock superkicks Steel over the barricade! All the 3 other men are piled up in the crowd, something then goes off in Warlock's mind, and he hops onto the apron facing away from the 3 men! Warlock quickly looks behind him, and once all 3 men start to get up, Warlock asai moonsaults into the crowd onto all of the other men!
Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Paisner: And outstanding display of athleticism by Warlock! And he's took everyone out in the process!
Warlock is first to his feet, and he plays to the crowd off of his moonsault, but soon after, Steel is back up, and he clobbers Warlock in the back of the head!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
But the Romero gets up, turns Steel around, and starts to strike away on Steel! Flash then gets up, and starts striking at the back of Romero's head! But then Warlock joins back in, and starts striking at Flash! All the men in a brawl pile! As they fight, security rushes out of the entranceway, and pulls the 2 teams off each other!
Crowd: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
The Warlords and Steel yell things back at each other as they get separated, as Flash tries to claw out of the mass of security to know avail in his rage, as this happens Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado hits, as Moxie Moon walks out, mic in her hands, and begins to speak.
Moon: Alright, so the last time i had to deal with the tag division, we had a chaotic brawl, and then now, we still have a chaotic brawl, and i'm getting a bit tired of this happening constantly with this division, which is why I buffed up our already world class security to contain you guys. But despite this, I realize both you teams want at each other, and it seems Steel and Flash want those tag tag titles The Warlords are holding, so how about this, at A Happening, it will be The Warlords vs Flash and Steel, with the WiR Tag Team Titles on the line!
Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Moxie: Now, would you please keep your fights IN the ring from now on?
Paisner: Now we got one hell of a tag match there! And one hell of an opportunity for both teams! Especially since we could possibly see Steel win a title only 2 weeks after signing hos contract here! But The Warlords also get the chance to shut him and Flash up, and retain the titles in the process!
Moxie then leaves to the back, as the two teams continue to shout at each other while being escorted off.
COMMERCIAL
Javier: Your next match is set for one fall with a twenty-five minute time limit!
Woodbridge: Twenty-five minutes? Jesus, Allen! We only have so much TV time!
Paisner: The smarks get upset if there's not a time limit! The first few chords of "Sockets" by Slaves fill the arena and the crowd lets out a collective groan before booing intensely.
Javier: First, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, weighing in at whatever the fuck she weighs. . . . BOBBY "FURIOSA" FAYE!!
Bobby Faye bursts through the curtain and soaks in every single shred of the boos hurled her way. She raises two middle fingers in the air and defiantly walks to the ring.
Woodbridge: You know, a lot of those smarks you mentioned have been complaining about Ms. Faye's quick rise in WiR. Saying she didn't deserve to get a match for number one contendership and that she shouldn't have beaten Erik Von Jarrett. And looking at her right now, I might be inclined to believe them. This woman couldn't look less like a wrestler if she tried.
Paisner: Well, it's not about what you OR the smarks think, Mark. All that matters is that she backs up what she says in the ring, and she's been doing just that. As Faye enters the ring, she heads to a corner, climbs the turnbuckle, and, once again, gives the crowd a defiant middle finger. Suddenly, the punk song fades out and is replaced by the smooth voice of Rivers Cuomo. The crowd lets forth a healthy applause for the impending arrival of the Hollywood golden boy.
Javier: And her opponent, from Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing in at 230 pounds. . . . . KEVIN SCOTT JACKSON!!
The movie star makes his way onto the ramp and immediately starts slapping hands with his adoring public, even stopping to take a few selfies on the way to the ring.
Paisner: Jackson has really started to become one of the many public faces of WiR, as of late. Hopefully, his stardom could bring more viewers to the show.
KSJ slides under the bottom rope and pops back up with his arms raised above his head. The crowd goes wild. He tosses his glasses haphazardly into the crowd. A small girl catches them and begins to weep at the thought of having something one of her idols once wore. But before that thought can truly sink in, a morbidly obese man in a fedora snatches the glasses from her and begins to post them on eBay.
Paisner: Well, here we go everyone. What's sure to be a match to behold!
DING DING DING
Faye immediately leaps at KSJ, taking him over with a headscissors, before laying into him with stomps. KSJ rolls away and fights back to his feet, only to be taken down again by a flying crossbody from Faye.
Paisner: “Furiosa” trying to quicken the pace, making sure that KSJ can’t use his technical expertise here.
Woodbridge: Yeah, but jumping around like that has to take a lot out of you. KSJ just has to weather the early storm and look for a reversal.
Faye continues with a few stomps to the chest of KSJ, before picking him up and locking in a chinlock. KSJ grimaces in pain, but fights out of the chinlock, before taking Bobby over with a snapmare. Having gained control, KSJ begins to work over the back of Faye with stiff knees and kicks, before heaving her up and locking in an abdominal stretch. Woodbridge: And Faye learns very quickly that trying to challenge the amateur wrestler to a grappling game is not going to end well for her.
Paisner: She should have realized that to begin with.
Faye struggles for a moment, finally getting an arm free and socking KSJ upside the head. As he’s dazed, Bobby steps out and takes him over with an arm drag, sending him back-first to the mat. KSJ rolls back to his feet, but Bobby hits him with a few stiff kicks, sending him stumbling back to the ropes. Faye irish whips KSJ across the ring, then nails him in the jaw with a dropkick. KSJ tumbles to the mat.
Paisner: Faye taking the fight to KSJ, maybe looking to smash up that ‘Hollywood’ face.
Woodbridge: Well, as Hollywood as his face ever was, at least.
Faye is immediately on KSJ with a couple of stomps, before covering him for an early pin.
Wong starts the count.
1…
KSJ kicks out.
Paisner: Yeah, that wasn’t happening.
Woodbridge: Well she had to try… Right?
KSJ rolls to his feet, and Faye charges again. KSJ is ready this time, however, and catches Faye with a double leg takedown, sending her face first to the mat. KSJ immediately lifts her up as she struggles, sending her down onto his knee with a backbreaker. He then locks in a hammerlock as Faye is down on the mat. Faye shakes her head and curses at Wong when he asks her if she wants to give up, before sending a kick backwards to KSJ’s… inner thigh… and getting free. Bobby goes up to the top rope as KSJ is holding his inner thigh in agony, before hitting him with a double knee drop from the top rope. Faye goes for the cover.
1...
2…
NO!
KSJ kicks out and rolls his shoulders off the mat.
Paisner: Faye showing some fire here, taking KSJ down over and over again.
Woodbridge: But the question is, does she have enough to take him down?
Faye looks at the ref, somewhat frustrated that wasn’t three, and goes to the top rope again, looking for another knee drop. KSJ notices out of the corner of his eye and gets to his feet, catching Faye on the top rope with a leaping forearm. As Faye slumps, KSJ takes her and hits her with a top rope powerbomb, holding on for the pin. Wong begins to count.
1…
2…
3! NO!
Faye just BARELY gets her shoulder up, at literally 2.999
Paisner: And the match continues! Faye showing incredible fortitude.
Woodbridge: It was one top rope bump, she’s a luchador. She deals with those like 3 times every match.
KSJ gets to his feet and hits Faye with a knee drop, then another. Faye rolls to the ropes, using them to get up. She pulls herself to her feet and charges at KSJ, hitting him with a dropkick.KSJ rolls back to his feet, only to be hit with another dropkick, KSJ rolls back to his feet, a little slower this time, and Faye leaps onto his shoulders, flipping him over with a frankensteiner. KSJ hits the mat and Faye makes the cover, hooking the leg.
1…
2…
NO! KSJ kicks out
Paisner: It takes more than that to put down the veteran KSJ, as we already know.
Woodbridge: I dunno. Amateur wrestling prepares you for a lot of things, but not being dropped onto your skull.
It’s now KSJ’s turn to slowly get back to his feet. Faye, sensing blood in the water, hooks KSJ in a ¾ nelson, trying to take him over for The Furiosa Finish. Whether she has the strength to or not can’t be determined however, as KSJ blocks the suplex expertly, before spinning out, hooking her arms, and taking her over with a backslide pin!
1…
2…
Faye kicks out! KSJ quickly pops back up and turns to attack Faye once again, but Faye slides under the bottom rope.
Paisner: Where’s Faye going?
As the ref begins to count, Faye seems to be cycling through her options in her mind.
...1!
...2!
...3!
Faye holds her arm and almost seems angry at herself, but begins to back away from the ring.
...6!
...7!
...8!
KSJ leans over the ropes and motions for Faye to come back to the ring.
Paisner: Looks like Bobby is walking out!
...11!
...12!
...13!
Faye gets to the top of the entranceway and gives one last snarl to KSJ before going back behind the curtain. With Faye out of sight, the ref decides to call the count a little early.
DING DING DING
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
Javier: Here is your winner at a time of 4:21 via count-out...KEVIN SCOTT JACKSON!
KSJ’s music plays but the Talent doesn’t seem to pleased. The ref lifts his arm up as KSJ plays along apathetically.
Paisner: Well, KSJ won, but not the way he wanted too.
Woodbridge: Faye bailed the moment things started to get tough. What did you think her reasoning was?
Paisner: I can’t say for certain, but knowing how devious she is, she will definitely be back to fight another day.
COMMERCIAL
Steel Nina plays as the eternal hometown boy makes his entrance.
Crowd: YAAAAAAAY!
Paisner: Here comes EVJ, the veteran not just in WiR but in wrestling itself. In this industry just shy of 20 years, 5 years smarter and wiser than his opponent tonight. This is his first true shot at gold, and it may very well be his night.
Woodbridge: Giving credit where credit is due, while Dragon has always been shooting for a title, EVJ got his faster by nearly a year, and when he wasn't he was making hella waves in WiR.
Paisner: We are about to see if he can make another right here tonight.
He looks around, giving high fives to everyone asking. He makes it to the ring and climbs up the right turnbuckle and dose a pose as the crowd cheers. He hops down as House of Bricks plays.
Woodbridge: And out comes the champ, the man who while we've said has a lot to learn when in the ring with EVJ, he makes up for it in sheer size and power. One of the biggest wrestlers in WiR to date, this man towers over not just EVJ but everyone on the roster.
Paisner: Size isn't helping the fact that EVJ has bested this man not once, but two times to get this opportunity here tonight. Neither man want to leave empty-handed, it's main event time and these men are going to bring each other to their very limits tonight.
Garcia heads out from the curtain, belt in hand and just coasts his way to ring. Both arms raised as fans just watch him parade his way down. He slides into the ring and lays the belt in the center of the ring. EVJ on one side, Garcia on the other.
Javier: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is your MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING, Tai Ni Wong your referee. And it is for the WiR Independent Championship!
Crowd: clap clap BIG MATCH! clap clap BIG MATCH clap clap
Javier: Introducing first, the challenger. He weighs in tonight at 230 lbs, hailing from Your Home Town. He is ERIK VON JARRETT!
EVJ turns around, climbs the turnbuckle, and raises his arm as the crowd goes mental.
Javier: And his opponent. He weighs in tonight at 285 lbs, hailing from Rexdale, Ontario, Canada. He is your reigning, defending WiR INDEPENDENT CHAMPION! This is ANDREW "DRAGON" GARCIA!
Garcia turns around and gets...not nearly as much as EVJ did. He turns back and catches EVJ, smiling dead at him.
DING DING DING
Both men circle the ring, still looking right at each other. They slowly make it to the center and lock into a shoulder and elbow tie up. EVJ shoves out of it and sends Garcia to the ropes. He goes back at him and locks it again. Both men fighting for position until Garcia pushes him into the ropes and gets out with a clean break before the ref even has to go in. He turns his back to him, and EVJ takes that opportunity to strike. He grabs him from behind and immediately tries for the Emancipation-Plex, but Dragon weighs himself down and hits him with elbow strikes until he loosens his grip.
Paisner: Whip to the ropes goes EVJ, Dragon catches him on the way back with a lariat. Picks him back up here, lifts him with a vertical suplex and drops him right back down.
EVJ slowly gets himself back up as Garcia looms over him. He pushes him to the corner and whips EVJ right to the opposite end with Dragon close behind. EVJ lifts himself up and over to the canvas as Garcia stops himself from colliding into the turnbuckles. EVJ has his back turned celebrating, faces towards Dragon and eats a hellacious running lariat, leaping and falling front first on the canvas before sliding to the ground. Garcia backs away as the ref begins the count.
1....
2....
3....
4....
EVJ gets himself up and heads back to the canvas. Garcia lunges at him with a big boot, but EVJ dodges and get back into the ring. Dragon gets his leg out of the ropes, turns around and gets hit with a flying knee to the mush. Snapmare sends the giant to the mat, EVJ backs up and boots him again with a running penalty kick. Cover...
1...
2...
Kickout, as Dragon gets himself back up EVJ strikes him with another straight shot to the chest. He continues to wail on him until Garcia lumber back down. EVJ starts to clap, getting the audience to clap along before heading to a nearby corner. He slowly climbs his way up and is about to launch at a recovering Dragon. Crossbody! But Dragon catches him and rolls through. He get back up, and set up for a samoan drop. EVJ counter and gets a crucifix pin!
1...
2...
3..NO!
Dragon kicks out and scrambles towards a corner. EVJ goes after him, and Garcia stops him with a high knee. Go behind, has EVJ set for a german suplex, but EVJ heads to the corner and shoves him away. Dragon back on his feet, rushes towards him, and EVJ gets out of the way, sending him chest first into the turnbuckles. Go behind by EVJ, roll up...
1...
...flips Garcia onto his knee and hits him with a glimmering warlock, making the beast fall flat on his face.
Paisner: EVJ's gotta capitalize!
Woodbridge: No shit Paisner!
EVJ rolls Dragon over and hooks the leg for the pin.
1...
2...
Garcia barely manages to get his shoulder up in time. Wasting no time, EVJ takes the hooked leg and wraps his leg around it, transitioning into a grapevine leg lock.
Woodbridge: EVJ could have the champ here! That's an incredibly painful move to be in, let alone having one of the most talented people on the roster do it to you!
Garcia screams in pain and stretches his arms out towards the ropes. His fingers brush the bottom rope, but to no avail. EVJ uses his free leg and drags Dragon back a few steps, pure desperation filling the eyes of the champion. He stretches towards the ropes again, this time not even coming close to them. He lets out another cry of pain before sitting up to the best of his ability, the pain showing in his eyes. Using the incredible length of his arms, Garcia slaps EVJ across the face. The vet stops wrenching the hold for a moment and just stares at Dragon.
Paisner: Smart move by the champ to psyche out EVJ. Jarrett is all about respect and that's exactly the sort of thing that will make him stop and think.
Woodbridge: I wouldn't be so sure about that being a smart move, Allen!
After staring at Garcia for a moment, EVJ lets go of the hold and stands up, fury in his eyes. He starts ordering Dragon to stand as well. With a slight limp, Dragon obliges. The two stare each other down in the center of the ring before EVJ begins throwing wild rights at the champ's head. The champ returns the favor with furious punches of his own. Garcia and Jarrett trade blows in the center of the ring that would throw any normal down for the ten-count. After what seems like one million punches between the two, Jarrett whips Dragon into the corner and delivers a flattening splash. The big man, however, stays standing in the corner, using the ropes to keep himself up. Jarrett runs to the other corner and comes speeding back with another splash. Giving Garcia no time to breathe, EVJ follows it up with a t-bone suplex out of the corner. He goes for the cover.
1...
2...
Paisner: And Garcia gets his shoulder up, saving his title for the time being! EVJ, incredibly frustrated at this point, jolts up and begins to signal for the Emancipation-Plex. He dares Dragon to get up. The crowd goes wild at the thought of a title change on House Party.
Paisner: I think the champ might have only gotten his shoulder up on instinct! He still seems to dazed to realize what's waiting for him when he gets up!
Dragon gets to one knee, an outer space glaze in his eyes. He pulls himself the rest of the way up and is immediately grabbed by Jarrett in the half-nelson position. Awareness flashes back into Garcia's eyes and, right before EVJ can deliver his devastating finisher, the champ spins the hold into a waist lock in his favor. He uses the waist lock to hit a german suplex, that Dragon then bridges into a pin.
1...
2...
Jarrett kicks out and rolls to create distance between himself and the champion. However, Dragon springs up as fast as he can and closes the gap. He delivers a knee to Jarrett's gut as he attempts to stand and puts EVJ into powerbomb position.
Paisner: Dragon might be looking for that Yokosuka Cutter of his, the Au Revoir! That could put this match to an end!
Dragon lifts Jarrett up to set him up for the Au Revoir, but, with speed unimaginable to a man EVJ's size, Jarrett uses the momentum to roll Garcia into a yoshi tonic and pin!
Woodbridge: This could be it! We could have a new champion!
The crowd chants along with the count.
Crowd: ONE!
Crowd: TWO!
Kickout!
Bewildered, EVJ sits up and just stares forward. He breathes heavily as the crowd begins to chant in appreciation of the hard work they're bearing witness to.
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! clap clap clapclapclap THIS IS AWESOME! clap clap clapclapclap
Paisner: The crowd definitely isn't over selling this match tonight! This is a great show by both competitors!
EVJ makes his way back to his feet and pulls Dragon up with him. He motions to the crowd for the Au Revoir!
Paisner: Erik Von Jarrett is saying he's going to use Garcia's own move on him! If that's not a way to win a title!
Woodbridge: I think EVJ might just be running out of ideas, Allen! He's tried everything and this is his last resort!
EVJ puts Dragon in the powerbomb position and attempts to lift the bigger man. Dragon weighs himself down, causing EVJ to only get him a few inches of the ground. The veteran attempts again, and again only manages to get Garcia a few inches off the ground. Before he can try again, the champion finds his way out of the powerbomb position, spins EVJ around, and brings him to the mat with a backslide pin.
1...
2...
3!
DING DING DING
Dragon rolls away from EVJ and into a corner as the bell is rung and the referee retrieves his title for him.
Javier: Here's is your winner and STILL WiR Independent Champion. . . . . . ANDREW "DRAGON" GARCIA!!!
The crowd claps and cheers ferociously at the match they just witnessed. As EVJ looks on from his seat on the mat, Dragon is handed his title and has his arm raised.
Paisner: What a match to end the night, ladies and gentlemen! No title change, but we did see one hell of a wrestling match!
Woodbridge: That was exactly the kind of athleticism I expected from a match between these two, Allen!
Dragon raises the title above his head, soaking in the crowd's cheers.
Paisner: And with that image to close the show, I am Allen Paisner joined as always by Mark Woodbridge and we will see you next week!

Wrestling Is Reddit © 2016

submitted by SmarkInProgress to wrestlingisreddit [link] [comments]


2012.09.01 00:53 tabledresser [Table] I am a Janitor. AMA

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2012-08-31
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Link to my post
Questions Answers
Do you ever find an unsolved equation on a blackboard and solve it? No, but i still need to watch that movie! the closest thing i've done, was go upstairs to the daycare thing at night, see a cool little drawing of a clown, and write on a piece of paper beside it, "Very nice! -staff"
Awh :) that was nice. I stared at my writing for a few seconds then laughed out loud and said "haha i'm retarded"
That's what I'd do. I'd probably do the same thing.
Oh well, some little kid will probably be happy when they see your message. This was about a week ago, i hope the little gaffer wasn't freaked out.
You may not read this, but wow, you are amazing in responding to basically everything. I'm doing what i can.
the little gaffer. You are just too cute! No you!
Now kiss! Bahahaha.
Is there anything that a person could do to make your day? Clean up after yourself, let us know of any messes you see (i love those people) and say something like "the place looks nice!" someone said that to me once, i smiled for a week.
Really? I have always afraid to tell janitor's when I see a mess for fear that they would take it as me acting as their boss and looking down at them as the help. My building is so big, I can't be in two places at once. The toilet in the front could be overflowing and I wouldn't even know about it until I do my hourly sweep. People letting me know of a mess is like a "hey man there's a mess over there, get it before your boss sees it and you get in trouble"
I once drunkenly puked all over a stall at my college. I then spent 40 minutes drunkenly cleaning it all up. My roommate came in and saw me and asked what I was doing, I guess I said "The janitor is too nice, I can't do this to her!" You're a drunken sweetheart.
I'll say that a lot to every janitor I make small talk with now. :) I wish people small talked with me :(
I'd feel like it would be taken sarcastically if it said that, but i'll try it next time i see a janitor. It's possible they could take it that way. If anything, a thank you and a smile would work.
:( This is from me. Thanks man =) also, i like that show.
How are you today? I'm good! Just drinking apple juice, watching YouTube videos, and answering the leftover questions. How are you?
All i could think of after reading this. Link to imgur.com. That's what i was going for, nice catch!
I try to make it a goal to make small talk with my residence hall janitors. It always brightens their day :) I bet! People just don't want to talk to me apparently. Oh well.
Awesome and annoyed! I did an AMA for my Aspergers, and it got remove because I couldn't provide proof. But whatever!:) Rough, I'm worried because I didn't have proof ready, and I don't go back to work until Monday.
Grossest thing you had to clean up? We had a hockey tournament (i work at a community centre) for the people who lived in the north end of the city (ghetto). After a game of 15-17 year old kids, the loosing team decided they would trash their dressing room. Garbage everywhere, spit loogies all over the floor, piss everwhere, toilet clogged up with shit up to the rim, puke all over the top of the brown mountain, and one kid decided to shit in the shower, on top of the drain. It was a bad day.
I didn't know people could shit and throw up out of anger. Your guess is as good as mine man.
We had a hockey tournament (i work at a community centre) for the people who lived in the north end of the city (ghetto). Yep.
Did you have a sweet revenge? Nope, they were hoodrats from a bad neighborhood. I'd bet those kids would've stabbed me multiple times if i said anything.
How do you clean up so much shit? With a broom and a mop silly!
Oh god that's horrible. Tell me though, is this by chance... Winnipeg? Yep.
Did the school do anything about it? School?
Hot crap!!! As soon as I saw "north end" I thought "that sounds like shitty north end here in the 'Peg!" A famous front page person is from WINNIPEG!!! :))) Winnipeg rep! can't say, for security reasons.
WINNIPEG REPORTING IN! There's dozens of us! Dozens!
It's always awesome seeing other Winnipeggers on the internet. Agreed. I get all excited.
Should have gone in during their practice, and shit in their hockey bags I would've loved to. But Each dressing room has a key for them to lock up so their stuff isn't stolen. But i guess i do have master keys...welp maybe next tournament! it's in February.
Whoever was responsible for the kids or whatever. I mean did anybody tell the coach or anything? That sort of thing can get you suspended from playing for a season and other penalties. My boss is cheap and doesn't do anything cause he doesn't want to lose business.
To late, best to leave it a week or so after it happens, that way its not to obvious it was you and the revenge is still sweet. I like that idea, a lot.
Easy retaliation: Buy a big bag of rubber bands, baker's yeast, a 36 inch 2x4 board, a 5 lb bag of kitty litter, flour, 2 glow sticks, milk, some gasoline, a cigarette lighter, and some eggs. When they are all sleeping, sneak into their house, beat the shit out of them with the board, set them on fire, then go buy a cat, go home and let it play with the ball of rubber bands and the glowsticks and make some fresh bread, because FUCK son, have you ever had homemade bread? That was.. a great story!
Go shit in their bags this febuary. Honestly, i will try my best.
Where do you work? Hospital? School? Office? I work at a community centre. We have 2 indoor hockey rinks, 3 outdoor ones, a gymnasium, a "great hall" and a weight room. Big place.
Interesting... How much of the area are you responsible for? The whole building. i help the zambone with floods, clean the dressing rooms, clean the gym after a rental, set up tables and chairs if there's a social that night (same goes for the hall), wipe down the weights at night, and this winter i'll be flooding the outdoor ice too.
Cindy Klassen Rec Centre? Try again.
The only other one I can think of is the IcePlex. Nope! but thanks for visiting the ama!
Did you ever find out who stuck the penny in the door? Unsure about this reference. But i find change on the ground all the time!
The reference is scrubs. First episode in fact. Making small talk, J.D noticed the janitor was having trouble with a sliding door and said maybe theres a penny stuck. Thus beginning the 8 year torture on J.D. Ohhh okay. I knew a scrubs reference would show up eventually. Thanks for the giggle.
How often do people take a duke in the urinal? Maybe once ever 2-3 months. Depends how mad/drunk the individual is.
I have to say I've never been so mad to where I would decide to pinch a loaf in a urinal. The drunk adults playing beer league hockey will do some weird stuff if the ref makes a shitty call and what not. Canada for you.
How does one go about cleaning that up? We have those plastic things in the urinals, so when it does happen, we put gloves on and pick up the plastic thing, with the turd siting on it. Then we dump the shit into the toilet and get a new urinal net. So I don't actually touch the shit.
I'm from Minnesota so I feel them, but still why take it out on a urinal? of all the other places? I've never understood their logic in that. "FUCK i'm so mad at the refs and the other team! i'm gonna trash this place and take it out of the guys who cleaned this room for us and flooded our ice before our game!"
Canada!! :D. Friggen rights!
I believe it's because they are ignorant and don't realize that someone has to clean it up. Sounds about right. There some serious douche "bros" that play hockey here that don't realize that.
I bet they'd stop if you started freezing turds into the ice. Probably.
Also in general most hockey players aren't all that intelligent (especially when drunk) so they act on impulse. Oh yes, i know. Atleast twice during a shift, someone will walk up to me and hold up a snapped in half key and say "hey uhhh the door wouldn't open and uhhhh the doors locked and the key's broke"
My grandpa was a janitor for a long time, so I figured I'd say hello and thank you for doing what you do. Hello! and thanks buddy, that means a lot.
Crohn's is such a bummer! How long have you had it for? Since I was 7. I'm 19 now.
21 year old janitor with Crohn's disease here. Sure does suck sometimes, but look on the bright side, when we're having a particularly bad day we can make decent money poopin'! Very true! Thanks for visiting. Have a good one.
How long have you been doing this? Why? About 10 months now. Not that long. It's an easy going job, with some physical work. Close to home, no dress code, i like hockey. I just got my GED (i'm only 19). I need to save up cash for school. I enjoy my job.
I don't know why, but when I read your AMA intro, I instantly assumed you were a 40+ family guy with greying/white hair, a nice moustache and wearing blue overalls or something :) Haha i laughed a fair bit just now. Most of the old guys i work with fit that description, minus the overalls. I just like being friendly and polite.
I noticed you have had a Reddit account for about 10 months too. Is there any correlation between the two? Just coincidence haha.
Any idea what you are going to school for? In the same boat sorta, GED and 19, going to school (it will only cost me a low $250,000 total!) and working Funeral Directing, i want to be a mortician.
Well, your future job is related to mine sort of in a bad way O_o. Haha, how so? what will you be doing?
Right now I am a patient transport at a hospital. Future, I will be a doctor if all goes to plan Planning to steal my business I see. Haha kidding, but good luck buddy :)
I like that you have a sense of humor about your future career. There's a house in my neighborhood that has a hearse parked in the driveway, and the licence plate reads, "VAKANCY". That's awesome! Any chance you could get a pic?
Well, probably not your business. Dead bodies don't scare me. I like gore movies. I frequent the "bad" subreddits often because I think it's interesting to see what happens to the human body. The pay is also nice.
I want to pediatrics, possibly neonatolgoy. any reason you want to be a mortician? Just realized how creepy that sounded. Whoops.
Awesome AMA. You comment and talk with everyone! How do you get skid marks off floors? I'm trying my best, it's fun to talk to people. Baking soda + water into a mop bucket. Dip your mop into the mixture, scrub skid with mop.
Misread as "scrub kid with the mop". I can't take the word "scrub" seriously anymore. It just reminds me of the 13 year old kids on halo3 acting MLG pro. "I'LL NO SCOPE YOU NOOB, FRICKEN SCRUB NOOB"
Janitor here. When I'm not full out cleaning the floors, I've found that a tennis ball on the end of a broom stick (any stick) will get most scuff marks up. Probably not the most efficient method but you don't have to worry about the wet floor. Awesome AMA. Tennis balls are also great! Thanks buddy.
Did you see my other reply? Because you might be more accurate than you think! Shit no I didn't, it's going to be hard to find it.
Do you find that kids tend to disrespect you a lot? If so do you have a story about something related to that? I fucking hate kids. Which is unfair since i'm only 19 myself. We have outdoor rinks, so kids show up, skate and fuck around, come inside when their cold, buy stuff from the canteen/vending machine, leave their trash on the tables and floor, then go back to skating. Rinse and repeat from 10am-10pm. Most of them don't give me personally that much trouble, since i know many from the highschool. Many of them drink too, which i don't care about, as long as they don't puke everywhere.
But whenever some kid gives me trouble, which is always started by them, i ask them what they want, i work here, i'm here to clean, let me do my job etc. But if the really get annoying i tell them they're on camera and to fuck off.
They're Mr. Janitor. They're. I get this reference! thanks though.
Do you clean bathrooms? If so when do you clean the opposite sex's bathrooms? Are you aloud in there for cleaning purposes? I've always wondered this. I clean bathrooms. It really depends how busy the place is. If it's busy, i have to stand infront of the door waiting for people to leave, asking "how many are left?" then run in and clean the big things as fast as i can, cause there's always the one idiot who goes "OMGZ why are you in here you pervert! i'm telling!" but if it's dead, i peek in to see if the lights are off (they're motion censored)
then there is a whole team of seventeen years old girls standing there totally still and naked. Doh! You say that like it's a bad thing!
*sensored? Shit, you caught me. Sorry and thank you!
That sounded a bit creepy until i read you are actually 19. Time's running out though.
Do you ever see people just litter in front of you? if so how do you deal with them. Yes, it honestly doesn't bother me that much. It's my job to deal with things like that. It isn't that hard to sweep it.
Have you ever walked in on someone doing something incredibly disgusting? Are you allowed to call them on it? Nobodies been dumb enough to do something like that mid day. Of course when i go clean the bathrooms there's usually a dude having an explosive shit. I give him privacy. But if somebody did do something crazy un natural gross, i could say "the fuck you doing!?" and tell them to get out.
What's the worst day you ever had? Best day? Do you like when people try start conversations with you while your working or do you prefer that they don't bother you? Worst day i answered above, it was a reply to "Jets_Reborn". Best day was when i worked a night shift with my favorite zambone driver. he's only 20, so slightly older than me. It was a holiday, so there was barely anything going on. Only 2-3 games. The place was empty by 9pm, and we were suppost to be there till 2am. He went and got beer from his car, i took out my smokes, and we drank and smoked in the office till the end of our shift. Twas a good day.
Edit: whoops, forgot the second question. Nobody really talks to me at all. Only things like "hey man uhh..someone clogged the toilet...When i'm busy, or in a hurry, i wouldn't like it. But if i wasn't, it would be pretty nice to have a chat with somebody =)
This sounded like it could be some sort of romantic comedy where you both fall in love but then one of you gets an amazing new job and your clashing lifestyles put your relationship in jeopardy. I'd watch the hell out of that.
then they keep taking massive dumps so the toilet will always be clogged so they'll have an excuse to talk to you. I can never win.
Are you considering increasing funds to the space program? Edit: grammar. My biggest concern right now is If there will be an NHL season this year.
Go jets go. Hell yeah buddy.
Any women's bathrooms stories? Blood all over toilet seats, tampons on the floor, in the toilet, in the sink, beside the sink. Nothing else really that disgusting, other than the normal stuff. Cleaning up the tampons is always quite the task. I wrap my hands in paper towel until my hands look like paper towel boxing gloves, then i press my hands together onto the blood bat and drop it into the garbage.
As a girl, I'm sorry that there are members of my gender who are this gross. This is not considered normal among us. There aren't enough thanks in the world for people like you. Thanks! I'm glad you follow female protocol haha. Thanks for visiting!
What i don't get about this, is i use the same tampon protocol at home as i do at work or in public. I mean, at home you'd have to clean that shit up. I don't get why you'd change your behavior elsewhere. Unless they're just flat out worthless bitches. Which i suppose is possible. It remains a mystery.
How is is that you became a janitor? fall into it? did you apply? My friend used to do what i do before he quit. His dad is a trainer at the gym in the basement. I was desperate for a job, his dad put a good word in for me. Got a call a few days later to show up tomorrow and help set up tables and chairs for a social. That's that!
What tips/tricks/etc do you know now that you wish you knew when you started 10 months ago? When the main boss comes in to check on things/work out, walk around the building pretending you're doing something. I mean, once everything's clean and done, what am i suppost to do? Still bugs me.
Every key/door is different. Some door locks are one way, others are mirrored, some doors lock easy, some you gotta bodycheck and wiggle. I couldn't tell you how many times i've failed to lock a door and make the walk of shame back to my boss and say "i....i can't lock it :("
Freshly flooded ice is FUCKING SLIPPERY. Walk across it gingerly, don't even attempt to slide across it.
Do things fast. Don't worry about being noisy. Just giv'r. That's why blue collar workers are always so noisy, they do things fast. You can't do physical work silent and quick. It's impossible.
When you see kids being bad and messy, pick up your broom/mop etc, roll up your sleeves, and speed walk towards them with an angry face and clean something behind them "violently" they'll most likely be terrified and stop being a nuisence or they'll leave.
Moping is easy once you get the hang of the motion of the ocean. It's like a ninja and his sword, You learn every inch of it, and know how to use it. I can now mop like a sailor.
Those are a few off the top of my head, i'll update if i can think of some others.
Another tip, invest in biker gloves. I've had nights when I had to wax floors, and we apply the wax manually with a mop. Try mopping 13 hours straight, two nights in a row, with just your bare hands. Oh I know that feel. I use walmart brand leather gloves when my hands start getting raw.
What's your favorite thing to clean? Is there a favorite? Also any favorite cleaners for their scent or actual usage? Beer cans are easy to sweep up. Plus, with the adult beer leagues, there's +500 cans hanging around by the end of the night, Which I trade in to the liquor store for some cash.
For cleaning supplies, I use this "cherry almond" deodorizer, which smells fucking amazing, and works great too!
How much does 500+ cans get you? EDIT: Grammar. Its 10 cents per can. So i dunno, math.
I have been janitoring (It's a thing) since 6th grade. I'm currently 20 and am still doing it. I feel your pain and that weird sense of pride when your building is super clean and people notice. Keep up the good work, I'll see you at the annual convention, right? There's a convention!? Shiiet, I'm out of the loop. But yes, when you finish your garbage run and mopping and sweeping, hhhghhhh, feels good man.
It's a real 'hush hush' deal. Do you guys have a KaiVac? It's been my best friend since we were introduced this summer. Cleaning bathrooms has never been so fun. Nope, I'm old school with the mop and bucket.
Respect. I've been there. Mopping is probably the most satisfying job, especially if you get the technique down. It's an art form. Keep on keeping on my friend. I throw down with that mop like a death metal guitarist. Not one missed spot. Love it.
Ever have to clean cum off a wall? No, thank god. But one of my co workers found 2 people naked, banging in the middle of the fresh ice at 1am when a social was going on. They must've been cold. This was before I started working there.
Just to clear up confusion, socials are like big party type get-togethers that people have to raise money for things like weddings. Pretty sure Manitoba and Saskatchewan are the only places that have em. Right. My bad, should've clarified.
No worries, rad AMA by the way. You're from Winnipeg too right? I sure am.
Do you like cats or dogs? I fucking love cats. Especially my own.
It's confirmed. He's a redditor. I've posted pictures of my handsome man, check my first submission.
Do you wanna see my cat?! Yes! Post pic.
Behold, my Sunkissed! <3. Link to i.imgur.com. AWWWEEEE.
Did you also know bin larden was hiding in Pakistan? What is this I don't even know what
Has anyone ever complained about your ability to clean, outside of your boss? Either directly or indirectly? Never. I'm a tad bit of a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning at work. I do my best, and I guess people see that.
What's your favorite color? Purple!
I thought it would be brown. xD. Oh you.
Me too! Lets be friends.
<('.')> Not sure if yes, or no.
That was my sad attempt at a big hug. (yes.) Oh whoops! ok right on. How's it going?
How do you feel about the portrayal of janitors in the media? (like the guy on scrubs) I've never watched scrubs, but from what I hear, he's a grumpy asshole weirdo, which fits a few descriptions of some of the old guys I work with. Also, the media is more accurate than you think. I don't know why, but the guys I work with remind me of scruffy from futurama in different ways.
You... You've never watched Scrubs?! :o. Unfortunately not.
How many keys do you hold on your person when you are doing your job? How many keys do I hold at work? If I had to guess, I'd say 10-12.
Edit: but I usually only need to use 3 of them.
Do you torture people like the janitor in "scrubs" ? ;) Not yet!
Scruffy? Yep.
Everwhere ? I always thought they were supposed to be in the trash can :/ That's what I thought too!
Two coins add up to 30 cents. One of them is not a nickel. What are they? I'm stumped. Tell me!
As a student: what can I do to help you as a janitor? Is there some chore specially hard to do in your job? Sorry for potential typos, English is not my first language. Thank you for doing an underappretiated job! Throwing out any trash you see in the classroom is a big help. Mopping up after a toilet overflows is hard to manage.
Would you recommend being a janitor? And what are you going to go to school for when youve saved up enough? Honestly i would recommend it to kids in high school/college. It's physical work and keeps you in shape, a lot more entertaining than flipping burgers, awesome if you're socially awkward or just like working alone.
Fellow Canadian janitor here.. Peace to you, amigo. Just a few comments and questions. First of all great AMA. And also, you seem like a very well spoken and friendly guy. Well done.. Some questions: what kind of hours do you usually work? Are you also bewildered by ridiculously filthy women's washrooms on a daily basis? Have you ever had sex at work? Do you get free ice rentals for working at such a facility? Thanks man, and good luck to you! My normal hours are 6pm-midnight. Sometimes I'll have a 8-4, or a 11pm-7am.
I have no idea how women's bathrooms get so gross. There needs to be a class in middle school for girls on how to dispose of tampons, seriously.
No, never had sex at work. My co worker did find 2 people bangin' on the middle of the ice once though.
Regarding ice rental, I have no idea. I've never wanted ice before. But I probably would get a discount.
Thanks for the questions, and sorry for the late reply, it's hard finding all these buried comments on my iPod.
How did you come to decide that you'd like to be a mortician? While browsing through spacedicks, gore, morbid reality, etc. I thought to myself: "y'know, this stuff really doesn't bother me. My favorite type of movies are gores. I could see myself doing something that has to do with this kind of stuff." After some research, I found funeral directing.
Currently I have this real glamorous job of cleaning apartments post-moveouts/pre-moveins, so it's not exactly the same, but man have I seen some shit. Literally. Obviously. Recently I used a paint chipper to get encrusted poop off a toilet. What's the most inventive or unconventional way you've solved a janitorial "issue"? Back before i learned how to pick locks, someone had broken a key in half and a piece of it was still stuck in the door. I went and got an industrial grade vacuum, and sucked the key out.
This past year, our school's janitor led a flash mob that I took part in at a pep rally for winter sports. Ever done anything similar? Nope, nothing exciting happens really. A few of us are going out for dinner and watching a hockey game for one of my co worker's birthday though.
That's pretty chill. Must be a Canada thing. I assume so haha.
Hey man, I'm a custodian too and have been for the 5 past years, I started when I was 16 and will soon turn 21, I have so many stories about the fucked up shit I've seen and have had to clean up and so many stories about the crazy people I have worked with and continue to work with. Whats the craziest thing you've had to clean up? Pools of period blood all over the women's washroom, and used tampons stomped into the ground like cigarettes.
Nice. One time at an middle school, I was called to urgently clean up a mess in my area. It turns out that it was the girls bathroom and some girl had the the audacity to take her used tampons and write "Janitors Suck" on the walls with her period blood. Thats what I had to clean up. The fuck was going through her head? "I hate janitors, they always try cleaning off my vagina blood, fuck"
On my first day of kindergarden, the school janitor bought me icecream because I forgot to bring my 50 cents. We were the best of friends from that day until he transferred to a school in another county four years later. I have a lot of respect for janitors, because they have a really thankless job. So, my question to you is, how often do people make you feel appreciated? Barely ever. In my 10 months, i've had 2 people say nice things about my work.
Not hardly enough, man. Another question; what kind of place do you work at? Community centre.
I was reading thru the thread and started thinking, what exactly is crohns disease and what does it do? Sorry if I sound arrogant just curious Crohn's is when your intestines become red and swollen (called a flare up) it feels like flaming hot razor blades swiping across your stomach, with the same timing as a heart beat. It causes diarrhea, vomiting, loss of appetite, pretty much having the same symptoms of a flu, but 10 times worse.
It's difficult for the stomach to digest food, and to soak up the nutrients. Which usually leads to anorexia and malnutrition. At the moment, I'm 6'2, 130 pounds.
Do people ever treat you poorly, or belittle you? When I was in high school, everyone treated the janitors like shit. It really wasn't right. I frequently chatted with the janitors and they are some of the most down to earth people I have ever met. Thanks for doing your job! People don't treat me bad usually. There will be some kids who are a nuisance and make messes and stuff, but nothing bad.
The janitors at my high school HATED EVERYBODY. I always felt bad for them when the asshole kids would act like pigs and make messes bigger than the end result of a house party.
I don't know if someone else already asked this but do you and the other janitors talk about other kids behind their backs like you make fun of the nerds or jocks or girls? I don't work at a school, i work at a community centre. We make fun of the shitty skaters/hockey players behind their backs while we wait for their ice time to be up so we can flood.
Last updated: 2012-09-04 17:09 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
submitted by tabledresser to tabled [link] [comments]


7 Baywind Place, East St. Paul, Manitoba Quesnel Lake, Manitoba Winnipeg Lanterns for Peace 2020 10 vs 1: Speed Dating 10 Girls Without Seeing Them - YouTube Herpes Dating Site Calgary -- HerpesChat.ca Vintage photos of the famous NORTH END of Winnipeg, MB ... Cougars of Winnipeg Speed Dating 11 Women Through Their Music - YouTube

  1. 7 Baywind Place, East St. Paul, Manitoba
  2. Quesnel Lake, Manitoba
  3. Winnipeg Lanterns for Peace 2020
  4. 10 vs 1: Speed Dating 10 Girls Without Seeing Them - YouTube
  5. Herpes Dating Site Calgary -- HerpesChat.ca
  6. Vintage photos of the famous NORTH END of Winnipeg, MB ...
  7. Cougars of Winnipeg
  8. Speed Dating 11 Women Through Their Music - YouTube

Happy Lake at Quesnel Lake Caribou Lodge in Manitoba's Nopiming Provincial Park - Duration: 0:28. Q Lake Lodge on Quesnel Lake at Caribou Landing 1,529 views 0:28 Cougar International.com ~ Confident Women with Younger Men in Mind and the Men who Adore Us. - Duration: 5:04. Joe Micalizzi 177,301 views Photographic slideshow of 53 vintage photos of the famous North End of Winnipeg. Descriptions of the photos, with year of photos, are as follows below: 1) - ... Pritchard Farm Southland’s Village is easily East St. Paul’s premier condo community! - Offering a 1700 square foot Irwin built 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom, with a stunning walkout basement on a ... Shopping for the holidays? Get your humangood apparel before it sells out! 👉 https://humangoodla.com 👈10% of profits from our latest collection will be used ... SUBSCRIBE for more! 👉http://bit.ly/SUBSCRIBEjubilee 👈 Watch more Versus 1: http://bit.ly/WatchVersus1 For brands wanting to partner with us, email: [email protected] Calgary Speed Dating - Duration: 2:20. Shaw TV Calgary 769 views. ... We didn't expect this in WINNIPEG!? What to DO in Winnipeg, Manitoba. - Duration: 14:00. Hey Nadine 252,073 views. Sponsors: Peace Alliance Winnipeg, Japanese Cultural Association of Manitoba, National Association of Japanese Canadians, Winnipeg Monthly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers ...